Adult child of divorce

[BoltonSi84]

(Think I probably posted this in the wrong section before, so here goes again!) Hey guys, newbie here, just stumbled across this forum and could use some advice/a place to vent, so please bear with me and let me begin by telling you why I'm here.

 

My parents separated just over a couple of months ago now, with my dad staying in their 'family' home and my mum staying in my spare room (mainly due to there not being anywhere else for her to stay whilst continuing to help out with the mortgage etc. on the 'family home') whilst they tried to work on things. Now my mum staying at mine has created one or two issues, the main one being that my dad has been ringing me 2 or 3 times a day for the past 2 months to check how she is, whether we'd been talking, what she was up to etc. which has been pretty tough on me to say the least. The cause for the separation is relatively simple my mum seems to have fallen out of love with my dad after a number of years of neglect at the beginning of their marriage (something he tried to change in the later stages to be fair) and doesn't see those feelings returning. Now during the separation they've been attending marriage/couples counselling to work through these issues and try and get back on the right track, but unfortunately it doesn't seem as anything has changed over the past few months.

 

It now seems that we're getting dangerously close to the point where a decision is going to have to be made one way or another (for all our well being/sanity) as to whether they stay together or go down the divorce route, in my opinion having chatted to my mum about things it seems like divorce is almost a certainty at this point, however it's obviously not my job to tell my dad this so have had to just keep up a facade when I've seen/spoke to him until my mum lays it all out for him.

 

Now my dad hopefully has some sort of idea that things probably were always going to go this way, however he's been so committed on trying to get things sorted with her that I think it's going to devastate him and am unsure what I'm supposed to do.

 

Do I continue letting my mum stay at mine whilst they go through things and be unable to grief/move on myself?

 

What should I expect from the impending divorce proceedings from my mum/dad?

 

Do I tell my dad the way things are going?

 

How do I distance myself from things for my own well-being?

 

Please, if anyone can give my any advice it would be so much appreciated.