Guys Night vs. Girls Night

[chucksagent]

Because women drink less when they are single, the researchers suggest that “men introduce and prompt women’s drinking.” But are we to believe that men really cause women to drink more? It’s impossible to say for sure, especially since this study wasn’t able to prove why married women drink more than their single peers or whether men really do lead women to drink more.

 

The study only revealed FACTS that men's drinking DROPS when married and women's drinking RISES when married. Everything else is independent conclusions which EVERYONE can draw their own as to why.

 

I simply brought this up for us to discuss WHY. If you have nothing to add to the discussion, stop wasting our time with pointless attacks on me and focus on the issue presented.

[hotpotato]

That's not trying to understand men. That's trying to know how to get a man, not knowing the basis of male psychology.

 

You want to understand men? Read this book: The Way of Men

 

Then in that case men dont care to understand women either aside from getting sex or a date. Ive gone to men oriented sites. Women asked for mens opinions and feelings. I thought they were trying to learn about mens inner lives, but I guess I was wrong.

[chucksagent]

The report, based on people situated in Wisconsin, came from a woman stationed at the University of Cincinnati and it was presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association. Unless can present a new article from one of these sources it appears still to be the same article you are talking about.

 

The professor in Tulane just gave a comment about the study - that's not a new source. That's just secondary information.

 

The CDC info is interesting nonetheless but what does it have to do with married women's drinking behaviour? It does not specifiy any kind of women nor does it compare with men's drinking behaviour.

 

The professor at Tulane said "he isn't surprised." He didn't say "Holy crap that study must be faulty." or "Holy crap, that Cincinnati professor is off her rocker."

 

The CDC does NOT mince facts...anyone who knows anything about medicine in American knows this...they are one of the FEW incorruptible entities we have in America these days (which is why I presume you found that interesting man in the box, because you KNOW the CDC can be trusted)...

 

And I did post another article: University of Missouri: Does Being Married Really Lead to a Healthier, Longer Life? :: New Leaf Chiropractic and Family Wellness

[chucksagent]

This board wasn't started to compared all women vs. All men!!!!!!!!!

 

I asked for opninions on why in my social circle (or if anyone else noticed it) women were drinking more when married then men who were married.

 

If this doesn't apply to you, give an outsider opinion as to why or move along!!!!!!!!!

 

If this does apply and you've also noticed it, I would love to hear your take.

[Copelandsanity]

This board wasn't started to compared all women vs. All men!!!!!!!!!

 

I asked for opninions on why in my social circle (or if anyone else noticed it) women were drinking more when married then men who were married.

 

If this doesn't apply to you, give an outsider opinion as to why or move along!!!!!!!!!

 

If this does apply and you've also noticed it, I would love to hear your take.

 

Your answer is in your post. It's because that's how your social circle works.

 

I have one social circle that consists of all men that do not drink. I have another where the men drink a lot. Almost all of my ex's never drank and didn't care to. It's just whomever you make the choice to spend time with.

 

I once heard from a guy who was absolutely shocked and would not believe any male who had never driven drunk in his lifetime - I'm one of them. It was one of the stupidest things I've ever in my own lifetime.

[chucksagent]

Phoe - I didn't forget those, some girls do those things, and I applaud them. However, you've probably seen tons of message board debates on this site where TONS of girls say "There is nothing else for girls to do except go to the club." And I agree with you Phoe, I think there are TONS of other things to do for men and women alike.

 

And I am only speaking about my small piece of the world and what I've seen.

 

Criticality - I agree but I am speaking to COMMITTED or MARRIED women/men. Most married men (that aren't ruffians and runabouts) I know have no use for the bar or club once married - because their primary reason when single was going to meet women. Lol. They don't need that anymore.

 

Please read critically. "Only my small slice of the world and what I've seen."

 

I then get made out to be CRAZY.

 

I then produce scientific studies (or one single study however you want to slice it) just to show I'm not the ONLY person. Me and that study might be wrong, but I am not alone.

[man_in_the_box]

The professor at Tulane said "he isn't surprised." He didn't say "Holy crap that study must be faulty." or "Holy crap, that Cincinnati professor is off her rocker."

 

The CDC does NOT mince facts...anyone who knows anything about medicine in American knows this...they are one of the FEW incorruptible entities we have in America these days (which is why I presume you found that interesting man in the box, because you KNOW the CDC can be trusted)...

 

And I did post another article: University of Missouri: Does Being Married Really Lead to a Healthier, Longer Life? :: New Leaf Chiropractic and Family Wellness

 

where the **** do you read that I doubt these studies findings?

[chucksagent]

Your answer is in your post. It's because that's how your social circle works.

 

I have one social circle that consists of all men that do not drink. I have another where the men drink a lot. Almost all of my ex's never drank and didn't care to. It's just whomever you make the choice to spend time with.

 

I once heard from a guy who was absolutely shocked and would not believe any male who had never driven drunk in his lifetime - I'm one of them. It was one of the stupidest things I've ever in my own lifetime.

 

A gentleman. A well thought out answer. And the more I think about it and the more I read, I think you NAILED it. I have three groups and two RARELY drink EVER...and the other ALWAYS drinks. However, I am not effected by what group I hang out with.

 

My wife has two groups. One RARELY drinks and she won't drink with them. The other group seems to ALWAYS have wine involved in their activities. And that is PROBABLY because the mother hen of the group LOVES drinking wine and martinis. My wife drinks when she hangs out with them. They aren't out past 10pm and they don't go to the club, but my wife doesn't really like alcohol yet still drinks with them.

 

Like you said copelandsanity AND the professor from Tulane also said, it's probably about the circle you run with.

[chucksagent]

where the **** do you read that I doubt these studies findings?

 

Well I thought you made your point pretty clearly when you attempted to tear apart my using the "only one study." I mean jesus christ, this is a message board forums. How many god darn studies do I need to cite to have a discussion with people???

 

I only posted that study because of peoples reactions to HOW TERRIBLE AND CRAZY me suggesting women drank more when married and men less. FOR SHAME!

[chucksagent]

Again, I think you're projecting the viewpoints of your particular social circle - one which I have before commented seems fairly narrow to me, in which women and men have very strongly delineated differences in interests and activities - onto the rest of the world. I would, again, suggest that you rethink this. Truly, a LOT of people don't follow those prescribed roles. I'm a little surprised that after multiple threads where people have tried to point this out to you, you're still persisting in thinking that what goes on in your circle is just the way things are for everybody. It's not. It's just not.

 

This was the person who tried to make it like it was a "me" issue and that I was nuts. Academic studies have found similar trends...bottom line. Maybe that study and my observations are totally wrong. All I can do is bring it to the table and discuss it. If it doesn't apply to you say "Wow, I've never seen that in my life, but I guess it could be because _______________________________(fill in the blank)."

Edited October 19, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[man_in_the_box]

Well I thought you made your point pretty clearly when you attempted to tear apart my using the "only one study." I mean jesus christ, this is a message board forums. How many god darn studies do I need to cite to have a discussion with people???

 

I only posted that study because of peoples reactions to HOW TERRIBLE AND CRAZY me suggesting women drank more when married and men less. FOR SHAME!

 

Yes, I criticized you for presenting 1 source as 5 different ones. Its stupid. I never have said anything about the validity of that study.

 

All I'm criticizing is what you are concluding from that study and other sources.

[kiss_andmakeup]

kissandmakeup - No, I think you said it perfectly kissandmakeup.

 

This theory supports what ONE of the studies concluded AND a few people on here concluded. That it's the people you surround yourself with.

 

i.e. - I have NEVER been the "get home and crack open a beer" type. I'm was always a social drinker. Go out on a Friday or Saturday night; or in college a Thursday night....get drunk...have laughs with friends and chase girls.

 

Well, now that I have THE girl, I suppose I look at it like, the hangover isn't worth it now. Whereas my wife and her friends don't necessarily drink to get drunk, but just like wine and catching a small buzz. (probably lots of men AND women like that).

 

And I don't think it's limited to man/woman or husband/wife - I think friends can influence the amount you drink also.

 

But your original post wasn't about whether women drink more after they get married than they did before. Your thread isn't entitled "Do women consume more alcohol after they get married than before?" It's entitled "Guys' Night vs. Girls' Night", and the content of the OP is largely about attached women going out more often than attached men. These are two entirely separate topics. The evidence you're presenting is not evidence that married women go out or "socially drink" with their friends more often than married men do. In fact, I'd say that the change in drinking habits more likely has to do with the one changing variable - the marriage - than it does with a woman's social circle. Her social circle doesn't suddenly change after she gets married. But her day to day life - and the partner she now shares a home with - does. Hence the positive correlation (albeit not necessarily causation) between marriage and drinking for women, and negative correlation for men.

Edited October 17, 2013 by kiss_andmakeup

[chucksagent]

But your original post wasn't about whether women drink more after they get married than they did before. Your thread isn't entitled "Do women consume more alcohol after they get married than before?" It's entitled "Guys' Night vs. Girls' Night", and the content of the OP is largely about attached women going out more often than attached men. These are two entirely separate topics. The evidence you're presenting is not evidence that married women go out or "socially drink" with their friends more often than married men do. In fact, I'd say that the change in drinking habits more likely has to do with the one changing variable - the marriage - than it does with a woman's social circle. Her social circle doesn't suddenly change after she gets married. But her day to day life - and the partner she now shares a home with - does. Hence the positive correlation (albeit not necessarily causation) between marriage and drinking for women, and negative correlation for men.

 

Kiss&Makeup -Well said and I apologize for the confusion. You're 100% right.

 

And practically speaking, my wife and I both [drink] MUCH less than when we were single. Our SINGLE friends in our social circles (both our circles) drink the same amount. However, when we were single, we might go out 2 nights a week. Now we go out one or two nights a month with friends.

 

The difference in OUR particular circles is this: Her friends STILL do what they've ALWAYS done...drink wine. Mine friends still drink too very often, however I choose not to. AND some of our activities (have and still do) include non alcohol related things...playing video games, going to the movies, going for wings (sometimes with a pitcher of beer but not always), playing softball, going to dinner (occasionally get a beer). I CHOOSE not to go to the bar when my buddies go because it's not an optimal use of my free time. I'd rather a social interaction where we could catch up and talk without loud distractions or get some exercise or do some bonding/laughs (video games).

 

Whereas my wife's ONE group of friends - they get together and go to movies, dinner and board games. BUT, her other group, they ALWAYS do something wine related. My 2 buddies at work said their wife/fiance (one each) also do wine related stuff with their girlfriends more often than not.

 

It was just a trend I recently noticed, but after some reflection, you're probably right...it's probably been LESS of the SAME only I've chosen to prioritize and alcohol isn't a high priority to me, whereas for her, she likes doing what her friends do.

Edited October 19, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Clarify

[chucksagent]

And the reason I questioned the CONCLUSION of the study is because I couldn't even TELL YOU the last time I had a drink of alcohol and my wife was at a wine fest just last weekend. Two weeks before that, she and her friends went to a happy hour from 5-8. The week before that, they went to the local bar to watch a football game from 12-2 and then went to a pampered chef party at her friends aunts house from 2-5 and they all drank wine their.

 

Therefore the correlation doesn't work in our case because I NEVER drink; therefore my habits aren't rubbing off on her. However, her FRIENDS habits are. Which really, if you think about it, it's all the same. You reflect habits of those you hang out with, husband or best friend.

[chucksagent]

I just asked my secretary and two paralegals to list the top 5 girls night and guys night activities that THEY and their BOYFRIENDS or MALE FRIENDS or MEN THEY KNOW of do. Just base it on what you and your significant other do or what you HEAR people married or in committed relationships say they do. They are all married (some have kids).

 

Here were the top 5 answers for each:

 

Guys Night:

 

1) Sports - play it or watch it

2) Game night - board games or video games

3) Beer Tasting/Sampling (ALCOHOL RELATED)

4) Poker Night

5) Camping

 

Girls Night:

 

1) Dance Club (ALCOHOL RELATED)

2) Spa

3) Happy Hour (ALCOHOL RELATED)

4) Karaoke Bar (ALCOHOL RELATED)

5) Wine and Cheese Party w/ movie optional (ALCOHOL RELATED)

 

These people had NO IDEA why I was asking. Just random, honest, unadulterated opinions. I didn't even bother to ask the two guys who also noticed this because obviously their opinion would be biased. I asked three people who had NO IDEA why I was asking.

[kiss_andmakeup]

I just asked my secretary and two paralegals to list the top 5 girls night and guys night activities that THEY and their BOYFRIENDS or MALE FRIENDS or MEN THEY KNOW of do. Just base it on what you and your significant other do or what you HEAR people married or in committed relationships say they do. They are all married (some have kids).

 

Here were the top 5 answers for each:

 

Guys Night:

 

1) Sports - play it or watch it

2) Game night - board games or video games

3) Beer Tasting/Sampling (ALCOHOL RELATED)

4) Poker Night

5) Camping

 

Girls Night:

 

1) Dance Club (ALCOHOL RELATED)

2) Spa

3) Happy Hour (ALCOHOL RELATED)

4) Karaoke Bar (ALCOHOL RELATED)

5) Wine and Cheese Party w/ movie optional (ALCOHOL RELATED)

 

These people had NO IDEA why I was asking. Just random, honest, unadulterated opinions. I didn't even bother to ask the two guys who also noticed this because obviously their opinion would be biased. I asked three people who had NO IDEA why I was asking.

 

The guys I know (fiancé included) make ALL of your listed "guys night" activities alcohol related. Especially poker or watching sports, but even camping!

 

Again, I guess it all comes down to who you ask and their social circle.

[chucksagent]

The guys I know (fiancé included) make ALL of your listed "guys night" activities alcohol related. Especially poker or watching sports, but even camping!

 

Again, I guess it all comes down to who you ask and their social circle.

 

kissandmakeup - HAHAH Great point!!! And honestly, so does my ONE group of friends when we do those activities...the only difference is, I don't drink because the activity isn't completely surrounded around the activity of drinking.

 

I can play poker for the strategy of it; to win money, to have fun; and mostly, to spend time with the boys. Same with video games and board games (save winning money)...sports I would be watching alone or with them, and if I was alone I wouldn't be drinking so I don't feel the need to drink then either. Camping, I have drank whilst camping and I have not drank whilst camping. But you are totally right, ANY activity can be made to involve drinking and often times do.

 

But many of the female activities I listed are BASED on drinking. WINE and cheese. HAPPY HOUR...Karaoke BAR...They aren't getting together on the wii and playing American Idol singing together in a room. They are getting up on stage at a busy bar singing to everyone there. Usually requires some social lubricant. Lol.

[chucksagent]

Coolit - Yeah, I don't have a problem with most things in moderations. It only annoys me when people (male and female) always want to drink. To me, it gets old.

[chucksagent]

Will,

 

Thank you for looking out. I appreciate it. A lot of these people on here don't wish to have meaningful discussion. They read the thread post and then immediately attack YOU (me in this case) and refuse to actually discuss what the thread is about.

 

I even SPECIFICALLY laid out "This is not meant toward anyone; this may only be in my close social circle; it may only be the case where I live."

 

Cue all the heroes on here to come and ASSAULT me for thinking outside the box and making meaningful observations in the world around me. Only, pity for them, their little attempt at character assassination was halted by a NATIONAL STUDY on how men and women's drinking habits change when married.

 

Now that a few weeks have passed, it's actually very common sense. Many men drink just socially as social lubricant to make it easier to talk to women...a brutal hangover is a worthy price to try and meet an awesome girl. BUT, when you already HAVE that awesome girl as a wife, what is the point of the hangover and spending lots of money now???

 

I mean, my lord, on the "da club" boards, women flat out ADMIT they "love to dance." That's why they have to go to the club; so why is it so unthinkable that if their desire to dance remains after marriage, so is their desire to drink.

 

My original post did not warrant such a hostile response. I merely asked if anyone else noticed it, and if they did, why do they think it was occurring?

 

Between the HELPFUL posters and that scientific study regarding the trend, it appears the probably answer is:

 

People tend to do what those around them do. Therefore, if husband drinks, wife will drink more now....OR if wife's friends still drink, she will still drink also.

 

This is one of the FEW threads I've actually seen where people came to a pretty good consensus on something. Clearly not all the haters, but among the people who truly added to the discussion.

[chucksagent]

Heck, maybe we are complicating a simple thing.

 

"Although men have historically been heavier drinkers than women, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the gender gap is shrinking, and fast."

 

Opinion: Why are more women drinking? - CNN.com

 

A forthcoming study in the October 2013 issue of the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research found that college-aged women are drinking more often than their male counterparts

 

Why growing numbers of women are secretly turning to drink to cope with family and work: New book reveals rate of females being hospitalized by alcohol is rising at FIVE TIMES that of men

 

Read more: Drinking epidemic among America's women: Number of females being hospitalized by alcohol grows at FIVE TIMES the rate of men | Mail Online

Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

[Kofybean]

I don't know where you live, but I have to disagree. There are plenty of guys' night that include women and alcohol. And - shocker! - some of these men are indeed taken or married. I've seen many a guys' night in action, and have been hit on by said men. They are certainly not all single.

 

Ok, I think I get what he is implying. He is saying if guys-night is to include women, the men have to out of their way to get them. If they are married or involved then that makes them total D!CKS!

 

Whereas women can do the same and get away with it.

 

All women have to do is put themselves in the situation and claim innocence since the guys in that environment will approach them. Therefore women don't have to proactively do anything wrong.

 

So guys night out will rarely contain other women unless the men proactively pull a d!ck move and invite them. Whereas girls night out can always contain other men in any given situation without the girls doing anything they can be blamed for.