honeycomb Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 About me: 32, F, engaged. I live 2 hours away from my (half) sister (22, engaged). I am concerned about her mental health, and my own mental health in regards to her. She drives me up the wall, and sometimes I don't know how to react or respond. She is getting married next month. She had been in a relationship with her fiance for six years, with a two year break somewhere in there. I have always gone to the ends of the earth for my little sister and her twin brother (who joined the Army and seems to be doing well for himself). If she's depressed, I'll make the two-hour drive out there to tend to her, to pick her up and bring her out to my apartment, I've taken her on day trips just to get her mind off of things because I feel responsible for her. I'm the oldest, and our mother passed away in '04 and her father passed away in early '09. Her bachelorette party is too expensive for me to attend. She purchased tickets for herself and her best friend. She has not asked me once to assist her in wedding planning. In fact, she's hoisted her wedding planning off onto a family friend. Naturally my feelings are hurt. Her bridal shower is on the 26th. I found this out because I asked her the week of the 1st of October. She flipped out at me because I told her (jokingly) that I had a Halloween party to attend on the 26th, and please could she not have her bridal shower on that date or else I would cry. It was completely done in jest. I finally received an invitation on Friday of last week. I have decided I am not going to go to her bridal shower because she had the blatant audacity to say that a Halloween party was more important to me than her bridal shower. She has skipped out on Christmases and Thanksgivings for the past almost four years, preferring instead to spend these holidays with her fiance's crazy family (who do not like my sister, and they are now estranged because my sister was poking around in her future mother-in-law's facebook, I guess, and saw that she was talking smack about my sister). I feel like I give and give and give and get nothing in return. Ever. Frankly I'm a little worried about the fallout from me skipping her bridal shower, even though she said (and I quote): "we all make choices in life... we do what makes us happy and comfortable... quit dragging this out... I'm sorry for lashing out and assuming... I misunderstood your message. I love you and I hope you can make the shower. If not enjoy your party. Not Sarcastic! And I'll see you at the wedding, thnxgiving, Xmas." Apparently she's going to make more of an effort to attend family holidays since she refuses to spend time with her "monster-in-law" anymore. I don't know. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I think I should be able to do what I like, especially after looking after these kids for so long. I feel better for getting that off my chest. Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 She's only 22. Still a kid IMO. She will mature. I would go if I were you. There will be other Halloween parties. Hopefully this will be her only wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 She's only 22. Still a kid IMO. She will mature. I would go if I were you. There will be other Halloween parties. Hopefully this will be her only wedding. Sometimes it sucks being the oldest, but there it is. Link to post Share on other sites
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