Author melell Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 Did you know if he's gotten help? So could you say that NC helped you "get over him?" He said he was clean and so on, I can tell he is clean. But he hasn't gotten help. This is a surge of willpower, from what I have seen this lasts a month or two at best. He thinks withdrawing, and not taking anything for a few weeks means everything is solved. I'm not quite that silly. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 how did you feel at the end of month 2? today is 2 months since we broke up. and I still have the hope that he changes and get back to me..every morning I would think about it like repulsive.it stil makes me upset and I just cant let things go??.. i dont know what to do. . Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 how did you feel at the end of month 2? today is 2 months since we broke up. and I still have the hope that he changes and get back to me..every morning I would think about it like repulsive.it stil makes me upset and I just cant let things go??.. i dont know what to do. . Don't be hard on yourself! Month 2 was very hard for me. It was emotionally and mentally draining and everything I did was followed by this horrible empty feeling. I was still crying regularly, and felt like a walking zombie. It wasn't until nearing the end of month 3 that I began to feel better and I had stopped thinking about things as much. What helped me was positive affirmations as soon as I would start thinking of him, that made the thoughts die down hugely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lylat333 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 First of all good thread, melell. Really admire you. Don't be hard on yourself! Month 2 was very hard for me. It was emotionally and mentally draining and everything I did was followed by this horrible empty feeling. I was still crying regularly, and felt like a walking zombie. It wasn't until nearing the end of month 3 that I began to feel better and I had stopped thinking about things as much. I can attest to this. I'm a week or so away from 3 months post-BU and I'm just now starting to feel better. I still have a ways to go, and there have been plenty of ups and downs but after the last big dip I just got out of, I'm doing better. I used to drive myself crazy thinking about all the things my ex was up to. I pictured her doing things I wouldn't want her to, like going to bars or house parties. But now instead of upsetting me and making me feel inferior, I think more about how it kills the desire I had for her and how it makes her less attractive to me. I believe I'm in the same boat as melell. I wouldn't reconcile if she came back (don't get me wrong, I wish she would) and all of my sad/upset feelings are about how I feel I lost the person I loved and have mourned the loss of our relationship and the good times I don't believe will ever be again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 Exactly the same happened to me. All the sadness kind of killed my feelings. And the last days of 'depression' I had about the relationship were really about it being done forever. As if things went from missing and wanting equaling sadness, to realization and accepting equaling sadness. I don't mean I am in acceptance now, because I am not. But I mean accepting it is over for good. It hurts, but once you process that it is finished, things really do pick up. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Don't be hard on yourself! Month 2 was very hard for me. It was emotionally and mentally draining and everything I did was followed by this horrible empty feeling. I was still crying regularly, and felt like a walking zombie. It wasn't until nearing the end of month 3 that I began to feel better and I had stopped thinking about things as much. What helped me was positive affirmations as soon as I would start thinking of him, that made the thoughts die down hugely. I'm 6 months post breakup but only at 6 weeks NC. I've felt like utter sh*t for the past few days. I was doing very well before this, but I became really nostalgic these past few days. I know I just have to ride this wave, and there is something better on the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I believe I'm in the same boat as melell. I wouldn't reconcile if she came back (don't get me wrong, I wish she would) and all of my sad/upset feelings are about how I feel I lost the person I loved and have mourned the loss of our relationship and the good times I don't believe will ever be again. I get where you are coming from. I'm sad, but I still have zero desire to contact him. I really wish that I would find someone else to be happy with because I feel that what we had is nearly beyond repair at this point. NC has given me the logic to sort all of it out, and I could not just get back together with him even if he were to show up on my doorstep professing love. So it seems to be more about the loss of our hopes and what we thought could be as we face the reality. Either way, it's sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author melell Posted October 17, 2013 Author Share Posted October 17, 2013 Hmmmm, I wonder if this is something that would have happened much sooner with complete nc from the start. I know that for me every bit of contact would give me hope, and keep me thinking of him. I hope you start feeling better soon x Link to post Share on other sites
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