Hair loss - ruined my life..

[Demoralised_10]

My life seems to be governed by my hair or lack of it. It's an issue I've become overly obsessed with.

I won't got out without a hat of some kind to cover it up except for work. My self esteem and confidence is on the floor. I don't feel attractive without hair, my dating life is non exsistent.

My social life is being held back, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin going to pubs or bars.

I've become an online junkie trawling pages of information regarding hair transplants and other solutions that I hope will fix my problem.

This is somewhat of a vent as I wanted to put it out there as to the way I feel. Does anyone else have an experience or views in dealing with this subject.

Your responses would be greatly appreciated.

[Criticality]

I started to get grey hairs early, but I kinda like it. I've earned it, lol!

 

I know it's easy for me to say, but seriously? You just gotta deal with it.

 

Hair transplants just end up looking kinda weird.

 

The problem isn't your lack of hair, its how you deal with it. There's a lot of guys who look great with either a shaved head or a buzz cut.

 

(You ARE a guy, right? Otherwise I feel really stupid!)

 

None of us, or well few of us are perfect. Your junks either too big or too little or has a weird ange. You're too skinny or too fat, your boons are too small or too big. And on and on.

 

In most cases there's not a lot you can do about it, except just not give a damn...

[HeartDesires]

Aren't you being just a little bit overly dramatic and self-consciousness ?

 

It is COMMON for a lot of guys to start losing their hair.

 

When I see a balding man I never think less of him.

 

I certainly don't see any indication that it has "ruined" his life.

 

I think it all comes down to your "low self confidence and general low opinion of myself" that you talk about in your other thread.

[Demoralised_10]

Thankyou for your comments.

Criticality - yes I am a guy! I have a buzzed/shaved head and have had for some years now. I'm 34. Again, problem being I'm sure there are guys who pull off the look very well, unfortunately I don't feel I'm one of them.

Unfortunately having the notion of not giving a damn has not really helped me especially when I know there are solutions - particularly transplant wise to help.

 

HeartDesires - agreed yes it comes down to low self confidence and self esteem, but those factors have arisen in direct correlation with the hair loss issue. I don't use the term 'ruined my life' loosely, it governs every part of my life besides the workplace. I don't do the things I just to do, I don't go to places I used to go and certainly don't envisage myself with another partner to do those things with.

[ConstantVoyager]

Honestly, it sounds like you need to talk to a therapist or a psychologist about this issue. You may be developing some OCD-like symptoms with regards to your hair loss.

[HokeyReligions]

Honestly, it sounds like you need to talk to a therapist or a psychologist about this issue. You may be developing some OCD-like symptoms with regards to your hair loss.

 

I agree. I understand your feelings. My teeth almost ruined my life. My teeth are a dark grey color from years of antibiotics and fluoride growing up. The are clean and bleached but grey. I never smile or laugh and for years wouldn't go out in public unless I had too. I finally worked thru these issues when a medical doctor asked me about my depression. My what?!

 

I think you need to work thru yours. The hair transplants and glued toupees start at $2000. I know because we checked into it for my husband. For me to get the teeth I want involves a lot of pain and a ton of money. What I found out is my smile and laugh far outshines the grey because I'm not hiding.

[Arabella]

On behalf of women everywhere... let me tell you this: HAIR IS IRRELEVANT.

 

Please. Believe me.

 

I met my fiance when he was 25 and by that point he had already lost most of the hair on the top of his head. But there were so many other things that I liked about him... I never even considered it a factor.

 

You know what I liked the most? The fact that he didn't give a crap about his hair loss.

 

Confidence is SO damn sexy.

[Nikki Sahagin]

If it bothers you, why don't you seriously look into the transplant?

It doesn't matter what other people think of it but if YOU don't like it, there are things that can be done.

Just be sure that it genuinely is that you miss having hair, and not actually for other reasons that you are just connecting to having hair (does that make sense?)

[Radu]

Go bald.

 

Or not, and remember that hair loss has been linked to testosterone.

 

PS: I'm 31 and i've started developing a Friar Tuck thing at the top of my head.

[FitChick]

How bald are you? If it's just the top of your head start using Rogaine to regrow it and to stop any more of it from falling out. Take Viviscal professional strength hair tablets. My doctor's hair looked amazing. Helluva lot cheaper than getting hair transplants. Besides, you need hair to transplant!

[celinpatrick]

My life seems to be governed by my hair or lack of it. It's an issue I've become overly obsessed with.

I won't got out without a hat of some kind to cover it up except for work. My self esteem and confidence is on the floor. I don't feel attractive without hair, my dating life is non exsistent.

My social life is being held back, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin going to pubs or bars.

I've become an online junkie trawling pages of information regarding hair transplants and other solutions that I hope will fix my problem.

This is somewhat of a vent as I wanted to put it out there as to the way I feel. Does anyone else have an experience or views in dealing with this subject.

Your responses would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

I can understand the suffering you are going through , because I endured the same for a year. Tried a number of therapies, supplements and other things but nothing worked out well. Being into a profession of designing, that demands social interactions, had lost my self confidence.Finally opted for real hair extensions and Now I feel like am having the original hair back.

[skydiveaddict]

Does anyone else have an experience or views in dealing with this subject.

Your responses would be greatly appreciated.

 

Hair transplant. Problem solved.

[TiredFamilyGuy]

Hair Transplant ? Nah. Why? Because hair continues to recede. Because then the transplanted bit looks like a patch left behind by the tide. And the cost. And because things go wrong (like, they plant little bits of hair but they go in different directions). And mostly because IT'S NOT ABOUT THE HAIR. Suppose the magic hair fairy appears and drops a rug on your head. What might make you more attractive is that you *feel* more attractive. But really, people won't notice either way about hair. What they notice is the raft of small emotional cues we give off in other ways about our appearance and behaviour and attitude to ourselves and others.

 

Changing your hair will not change those other things.

 

I would ask you: how has your life been so far, that you are anxiously focussing on this insignificant thing? What has gone right or not gone right for you to date? Your other problems or some aspect of your situation may serve to illuminate, why you feel like this.

[Demoralised_10]

Thankyou so much for all your responses. There is plenty of food for thought within all your comments.

TiredFamilyGuy, you certainly offer a perspective that is indeed rather relevant to me and the way I feel.

Perhaps I'm using the hair loss to hide behind other underlying self esteem and confidence issues I may have.

I'm still determined to look into the transplant route regardless of what some may think, I have the money and can afford to do it and more importantly it's what I want. I'm sick of hiding behind a hat and although it may not make a difference to how others view me, it's how I feel in my own skin.

Thanks again for all your kind responses.

[lollipopspot]

I don't want to undermine your feelings, but this is my perspective: hair loss is really so trivial in life. Even for women, although it's more distressing then. I had a medical issue that made me lose hair - since fixed, but at the time I didn't know if it could be. There are problems in life that are intractable (and even lethal). This isn't one of them!

 

If you really feel the need, there are ways to hide it - glued on toppers for one. I know someone who had one - expensive, but it looked natural. If you feel this is devastating your life, then it's worth it to just take the plunge and do something cosmetically - even if you have to work some more to pay for it. But I personally don't think that men need to do that.

[FitChick]

Read my thread about Cure for baldness. A few years away so keep using Rogaine until they perfect the new technique. Maybe ask to participate in clinical trials,

[Emilia]

Thankyou so much for all your responses. There is plenty of food for thought within all your comments.

TiredFamilyGuy, you certainly offer a perspective that is indeed rather relevant to me and the way I feel.

Perhaps I'm using the hair loss to hide behind other underlying self esteem and confidence issues I may have.

I'm still determined to look into the transplant route regardless of what some may think, I have the money and can afford to do it and more importantly it's what I want. I'm sick of hiding behind a hat and although it may not make a difference to how others view me, it's how I feel in my own skin.

Thanks again for all your kind responses.

Get very fit and strong. Guys with a good, strong, lean physique tend to look pretty good bald. When you are really fit no-one gives a damn about how much hair you have

[skydiveaddict]

Does anyone else have an experience or views in dealing with this subject.

Your responses would be greatly appreciated.

 

Transplant........

[millymollymandy]

Please believe me that you will eventually feel so much better about this and you have made it into a much bigger deal than it is! Most people don't care, - hair or bald it doesn't matter at all! ... and some people are ONLY attracted to bald guys.

One of the sexiest men in the world is Neale Whitaker - check out the link to his pic if it works, and be proud of yourself, you sound like such a great and sweet guy!

 

http://channelnine.9msn.com.au/img/homemade/neale_whitaker.jpg

[todreaminblue]

i think hair loss on men is natural some lose hair some dont...i shaved my exes head...felt no differently for him..he was self conscious about it...should have given me some clues there...because i didnt care whether he had hair or not so who did he need to impress.....some women dont like bald men....

 

 

to me if you care about a person thinning or hair loss is a natural part of aging adn you really do accept it as beign natural....that si if you truly care for the guy.....

 

 

 

I dont believe in hair transplants .invest in sunscreen and a cap and a bic razor and pay for a romantic holiday instead of costly no guarantees it will last procedures....a holiday somewhere tropical with mangoes....where you dont have to worry about getting sand in your hair when you make love on the beach at night (bic razor will take care of that).....so to you i say happy hairless lovemaking on a beach somewhere devoid of hair transplant advertisements...:bunny: theres rabbits to go with you......women love stuffed bunnies and bald men together...seem to fit well........good luck................deb.

[ConstantVoyager]

I'm one of those women who really doesn't care if a guy is bald or balding.

 

There are a lot of us.

 

Just don't grow those three hairs really long and wind them around your head.

[Demoralised_10]

Thankyou all once again for everyone's foresights and opinions. It's very refreshing to have found a site such as this that can offer many people's different perspectives on any given subject.

I suppose living with the hair loss issue and somewhat hiding away from it has not given me other people's insight on what is a delicate issue for me. Of course logically thinking, there are far more other extremes going on in the world that makes my issue trivial. However it's sometimes difficult to convey those thoughts in your head when the issue of hair loss is personal to me.

Again thankyou very much for your time and input.

[mrs rubble]

There are many women who LOVE:love: bald guys. Quite a few of my friends in fact purposely set out to find bald guys as they find them sexier.

[dreamingoftigers]

Thankyou all once again for everyone's foresights and opinions. It's very refreshing to have found a site such as this that can offer many people's different perspectives on any given subject.

I suppose living with the hair loss issue and somewhat hiding away from it has not given me other people's insight on what is a delicate issue for me. Of course logically thinking, there are far more other extremes going on in the world that makes my issue trivial. However it's sometimes difficult to convey those thoughts in your head when the issue of hair loss is personal to me.

Again thankyou very much for your time and input.

 

I hadn't thought too much of a man being drastically worried about balding unless it was more related to aging anxiety. Or figuring he was somehow "unlovable" to women.

 

There are negative attitudes toward baldness out there, but honestly, I think its mostly media/advertisers playing on an insecurity. A rather huge one, to make $$$$.

 

As a woman, it really doesn't make the "generic looks rating" move up or down for me. It doesn't really alter my perception or attraction to a man whatsoever. Except for this one dweeb who would've been a 4 who tried to shave his head to look "tougher" and be a "player" and really that was so lame he became a 1 just because of the context. Anyhow, I digress.

 

I think that men are hardest on themselves and each other about it. Just like those penis-enlarger ads. Or guys shaving their chest-hair.

 

My Dad used to make fun of bald guys. I hope something like that wouldn't bother you because frankly, my Dad was a total aggressive jerk who made fun of everyone from racism to homophobia to single moms to old people to kids to just about anyone he could bully. He would also be so insecure about his gray hairs that he would pluck them out with tweezers in front of a mirror and curse at them. Insecurity need not be confined to hair-loss.

 

(I told my teacher about him tweezing his grays and he really blew up at me about that one. In hindsight I find it funny.)

 

But even being raised by a "baldist" like him didn't phase me. My husband is balding. My ex definitely would've as well.

 

I find husband just so damn sexy. He's not been the best husband over the years, but I still find him damn sexy. And when I met him he had long, long thick blond hair. Now it's still long but he losing in both the front and back. Doesn't even phase me. In fact, just thinking about the feel of his skin does something for me.

 

Women understand aging. In fact, many of us sincerely long to grow old with our partners. Most of us date older men. There is not this significant premium put on youth or youthful attributes. Most if us want that mature, but fun, committed, loving sexual partner. And frankly you don't get to grow old without getting grays or losing them. It seems that women inherently understand this and men, well, they like 18 year olds.

 

Most of us really, really want that guy who is just okay in his own skin. It even gives us that subconscious permission to be okay in our own. If you've accepted your own "flaws" you are much more likely to accept our flaws and insecurities as well.

 

What is it that is so scary about being a "bald man?"

[fluberry]

My elder bro had similar hair loss at age 21 and now at 30 easily NW2 . Both side of my families do not carry balding genes ......don't know what's happening to him.It’s really depressing and stressful seeing him losing hair this young. I wanted to helped him out of his misery in anyway I can.

 

He has been on various hairloss treatments, supplements and oils but nothing helped . We did some researching on natural alternatives which hopefully can helped him and that he does not need to deal with side effects from oral medicine .We found and read about the Naturalis hair herbal remedy product that has potential for hair growth .He wanted to give it a shot since it is made from all natural ingredients and with no side effects. More importantly ,he feels that the hair cream will stopped his hairloss and gained back his confidence again.

 

Since applying the Naturalis hair recovery treatment cream for over 8 months his hair has been pretty stable. During this period,He noticed scalp is no longer itchy and greasy like before and hair shedding has dramatically decreased in the shower. He was thrilled with the results and so was I:laugh: . He noticed the existing hair grew thicker and longer. There is significant regrowth along hairline and on temples inward toward center of head though still short and in the growth phase still he is overwhelming please with it.

 

He has been very religious with his daily hair care regimen caused he has responded very well to the treatment and looking forward to seeing the full results in a couple of months time...

 

Hope it works for you too. Good luck !

Edited October 27, 2013 by fluberry