Feeling removed from God

[loveofhorses1970]

I previously was involved in an affair and was the other woman. I've since ended the relationship, confessed to the wife and God, and repented. However, I still feel a gap between God and myself. I've been searching for bible studies geared toward the "other woman" but have been unable to find anything like thar. Any ideas?

[M30USA]

I previously was involved in an affair and was the other woman. I've since ended the relationship, confessed to the wife and God, and repented. However, I still feel a gap between God and myself. I've been searching for bible studies geared toward the "other woman" but have been unable to find anything like thar. Any ideas?

 

Are you a believer in Jesus Christ? If yes, for how long?

 

I don't think you'll find verses about the "other woman" but there are plenty of verses about adultery or causing someone to committ adultery.

 

I think most of your attention should be on the fact that you caused a husband to lose his wife. That's the real person who was wronged, not you or his wife.

[loveofhorses1970]

Yes, I am a believer in Christ.

 

I appreciate your thoughts on the matter but you have no idea of the story and don't really have a place in issuing judgment. I don't care to rehash this with you. If you have nothing to input on my question, please move on and enjoy your day.

[happydate]

I previously was involved in an affair and was the other woman. I've since ended the relationship, confessed to the wife and God, and repented. However, I still feel a gap between God and myself. I've been searching for bible studies geared toward the "other woman" but have been unable to find anything like thar. Any ideas?

 

Yes there are. It is mentioned several times in the Old Testament in Genesis, Samuel and Kings. It is in regards to Polygamy -- having more than one wife or multiple wives.

 

In ancient times, God seemed to have kept silence about this issue and for myself I can only surmise that the following.

 

In ancient times, men dominate societies and women do not possess the same equal rights as men like in today's society. Therefore, women are DEPENDENT upon their men for survival and it is not uncommon for men to marry many women so to help them survive. Also in ancient times, wars are extremely brutal with many hand to hand combat; thus there can create many widowers and can create an imbalance between males and females in a warring country or society. Therefore, it is also not uncommon for women to marry any males that are still available and alive of course. So this is probably the closest you'll find in your case.

Marriage in those days are not as elaborate as you find today. There are no lawyers involved and no legal papers to sign either. Most of the times, you would go through Church or the man in cloth or even by decree or by verbal communion like you did with the man who is married. So in a way, you are somewhat engaging in polygamy as it is portrayed in ancient times.

 

Is it ok today? The answer is no, because today's conditions are vastly different when the Old Testament was written.

 

Confession is a very tricky process and in part is because, so many people think just by confessing, you are assured an automatic salvation to the Kingdom of God. The reason you can't find anything in the bible pertaining to this is that, there is NO such thing as an automatic salvation to God, because Jesus Christ had always said that

 

"The Kingdom of God is within all of us". What he meant was, even while you engaged in adultery, God knows you are doing this and that you had approved of this action behind him. He also said that abstaining from adultery or sex is NOT enough either, because you have not addressed the cause of why you committed adultery. As long as you have this cause, a psychological imbalance or demonic possession of evil spirits, then you will always have a so called GAP between you and God.

 

Why is that. Simple. The Law Of Free Will states that God will not violate your free will. If you still have the will to commit adultery because you do not wish to address the cause and just confess to pay lip service to God, how can God help you since he can not violate your free will of willing to possible commit another adultery? You see the problem here. As long as you still have this cause, God will let you be in peace. He will guide you in your heart, but he will not intervene.

 

Therefore, you need to embrace GOD 100%. If you do, any evil spirits that caused you to commit adultery will have to go, because they too are subjected to the law of free will. If you choose God over evil spirits that enjoy you as a host for their entertainment of adultery, they will have no choice but leave.

Dr. Shakantula Modi's book of Remarkable Healings will go into further details about these issues.

 

Blessings..

[BeingMe]

Why don't you read the passage about the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears?

 

She was shunned by all the men there, she was shameful, awful, surely no-one would want her near them. She was unclean, anyone who touched her could become unclean,too.

 

But she knew that she wanted to be close to Jesus. She had no idea how he would react to her,whether he would shun her too. Whether he would shame her in front of everyone. But she was courageous, she walked in there, endured their looks and comments of scorn, their labels of disdain and condemnation. And step by hard step, she approached Jesus.

 

She didn't justify herself or hide who she was or what she had done, she made herself completely vulnerable to him. He could have rejected her, refused to let her come close, listed out her sins in front of everyone, destroyed her.

 

But he didn't. He accepted her as she was. He accepted her gifts. He welcomed her tears,her hands, her hair, washing his feet. He praised her to the very upright religious people who were condemning her.

 

Jesus isn't worried about what other people think. He knows your heart. Jesus doesn't accept us only when we're perfect, Jesus came because we're not. Jesus' highest praise was for those who others disdained. His greatest criticism for those who were supposed to be 'good' and respectable.

[M30USA]

But he didn't. He accepted her as she was. He accepted her gifts. He welcomed her tears,her hands, her hair, washing his feet. He praised her to the very upright religious people who were condemning her.

 

This is a partial truth, very commonly taught in the church today. The other part of the truth is that Jesus told such people to "sin no more" and often warned them that, if they did return to prior sins, their consequence would even be more severe than it currently is. Additionally, he only treated people in this compassionate way if they had already made the decision to repent. The adulterer in the Gospel account had done this--and it sounds like the OP has as well, so that's good. I wish the OP well.

[pureinheart]

I previously was involved in an affair and was the other woman. I've since ended the relationship, confessed to the wife and God, and repented. However, I still feel a gap between God and myself. I've been searching for bible studies geared toward the "other woman" but have been unable to find anything like thar. Any ideas?

 

This is a blockage, you've done all of the things God requires so whenever there's a feeling of distance, it's usually us...one thing that you didn't mention was, forgiving yourself. If you haven't this will create distance.

 

Being one who is very familiar with sin, not much I haven't done, and at the point of repentance, there's always that devil up in my ear saying- look what you did, look what you did...that did work for many years keeping me in condemnation. Now, the tables are turned and my reply is , look what you did and look where you're going:D

[2sunny]

The only way you may not feel close to "god" is if you aren't making effort to get connected to "God".

 

Are you taking time to get connected/ stay connected?

 

Putting up that wall to roadblock Gods love isn't useful. Be vulnerable - get honest and live in truth.

 

INVITE your GOD IN! It's up to YOU - because god is always there waiting to be invited in.

[happydate]

Why don't you read the passage about the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears?

 

She was shunned by all the men there, she was shameful, awful, surely no-one would want her near them. She was unclean, anyone who touched her could become unclean,too.

 

But she knew that she wanted to be close to Jesus. She had no idea how he would react to her,whether he would shun her too. Whether he would shame her in front of everyone. But she was courageous, she walked in there, endured their looks and comments of scorn, their labels of disdain and condemnation. And step by hard step, she approached Jesus.

 

She didn't justify herself or hide who she was or what she had done, she made herself completely vulnerable to him. He could have rejected her, refused to let her come close, listed out her sins in front of everyone, destroyed her.

 

But he didn't. He accepted her as she was. He accepted her gifts. He welcomed her tears,her hands, her hair, washing his feet. He praised her to the very upright religious people who were condemning her.

 

Jesus isn't worried about what other people think. He knows your heart. Jesus doesn't accept us only when we're perfect, Jesus came because we're not. Jesus' highest praise was for those who others disdained. His greatest criticism for those who were supposed to be 'good' and respectable.

 

Actually this passage is a prime example of how Jesus Christ operates in those days.

 

He operates in the "NOW" moment -- what is pertaining to what it is right now and that is what he is teaching. He accepted her because he did not judge her past nor did he judge her future or his future after he accepted her. His greatest criticism is for those of you people who DO NOT OPERATE in the NOW moment and this is the majority of the human beings today. Still most Christians today who would judge other human beings based on past behaviours, past history and past dealings and use them to shun and mock them.

 

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

 

From the verse of Matthew, it clearly showed that those of the good and the respectable judge the woman based on their own distorted visions. Jesus did not have the same distorted vision because he operates in the now moment, the moment where he truly loved his father.

 

What the OP needs to do is to begin healing. Physicians heal thyself! This is what Jesus said basically it meant you need to start healing the wound that caused you to commit adultery for true forgiveness is not paying lip service to God, but rather when the OP has healed her wounds that caused her to commit adultery when there is true forgiveness. The lady in the verse had truly done that and because the Kingdom of God is within all of us, only God can know you are truly healed. By the way, men can do the same but sometimes their big "EGO" gets in the way of healing.

 

The OP's situation is her self-creation and her misery and while God can forgive, she needs to uncreate it by action and she can not do it only by seeking sympathy from others. It is a fundamental law that you can not change your world without changing yourself, so if she wants to improve her outer condition, she must look within and change her inner condition and sympathy from God can not change her inner condition. It is her will to change that shall be done. She must take charge in changing her understanding of life and her beliefs about life and attitude towards life. It is when her inner conditions change when the Kingdom of God will manifest itself to commune with her through her heart.

 

Basically, when you are healed your heart will open again to love. Right now, her heart is probably closed and she is using logic to discern what is happening. Jesus teach in parables and basically, for those disciples who has an open heart, the parables make sense. For those who have a closed heart, those will discern them with logic. So the premise for communing with God is through the heart.

 

In my experience when I asked for forgiveness for the things I had done, I felt EXACTLY like the verse of the lady. Unbelievable tears and pretty much soaked my shirt and bed sheets plus my heart was so warm and so joyful that it was blessed by some inner force that I can not explain and everything sort of melted away. But I had done some healing myself to heal my heart prior to this so the process naturally takes upon itself, for truly the Kingdom of God is within all of us and that your willingness to start now new and bring only the positives forward! Well, it always is.

 

Blessings.

Edited October 17, 2013 by happydate

[BeingMe]

btw, just wanted to let you know...I'm a betrayed spouse. I'm also a theologian.

 

The Bible makes it clear that it is God who turns our heart towards repentance. The work is done with God's help, we don't have to do it by ourselves. And remember people, we all mess up. What I said isn't a partial truth, the passage doesn't mention her repentance,but it doesn't have to, it's there to see. Why else would she open herself to that shame and ridicule? As a betrayed wife, I feel like I have an open stigma, with people pitying me, judging me,blaming me. That passage really helped me, I hope it helps you too.

[pureinheart]

Actually this passage is a prime example of how Jesus Christ operates in those days.

 

He operates in the "NOW" moment -- what is pertaining to what it is right now and that is what he is teaching. He accepted her because he did not judge her past nor did he judge her future or his future after he accepted her. His greatest criticism is for those of you people who DO NOT OPERATE in the NOW moment and this is the majority of the human beings today. Still most Christians today who would judge other human beings based on past behaviours, past history and past dealings and use them to shun and mock them.

 

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

 

From the verse of Matthew, it clearly showed that those of the good and the respectable judge the woman based on their own distorted visions. Jesus did not have the same distorted vision because he operates in the now moment, the moment where he truly loved his father.

 

 

Blessings.

 

This is excellent. Thank you:D

[pie2]

I previously was involved in an affair and was the other woman. I've since ended the relationship, confessed to the wife and God, and repented. However, I still feel a gap between God and myself. I've been searching for bible studies geared toward the "other woman" but have been unable to find anything like thar. Any ideas?

 

I think we (myself included!) can often only think about God's forgiveness in the only terms we know -- human terms. Which are extremely limited, to say the least. God's ability to forgive is so vastly greater than anything we can comprehend, so it's easy to minimize its power. Ultimately, it's simple. You've repented, and are now free. That's God's gift to us. Any bondage (and separation) we still feel isn't from God, it's from Satan.

 

I think most of your attention should be on the fact that you caused a husband to lose his wife. That's the real person who was wronged, not you or his wife.

 

 

 

Care to elaborate a little on this?

[IfiKnewThen]

how are you doing? how are you feeling loveofhorses? i see you havent written back. i stumbled on this tread...wondering how u are. hope things are better in the way you feel. i have missed the childlike and adult like pure connection i felt with God too when i was purer, before i committed all my sins. i lost myself somewhere. and its hard to find the connection with god while i am lost and also bombarded with problems. i know hes there...i know he exists. i know and i guess he still finds love enough for me for all the things i that still remain in my life. maybe some things are random that are good but i give God the glory for the good that remain. you are doing good. you took all the right steps. its like being sick..it takes time to come back and feel better. God is the better you dont feel in a sense...but i also know its that spiritual connection. i think you did once have it too. apparently God means something to you. the hardest part is forgiving ourselves too. at least this is how i feel. i have been horrible in blasphemy alone and all of my sins. tonight i will pray that you get that connection that will give you inner peace and acceptance. we all need prayers. and probably even a hug. sorry for rambling. hope things work out. hang in there. and God bless you.

Edited October 18, 2013 by IfiKnewThen

[loveofhorses1970]

Thank you, IfIKnewThen. I'm doing better. Still pouring into my Bible and in prayer. I think pie2 was right about these feelings of mine being of Satan. It's lifting and getting better. Thank you everyone for your prayers and to everyone for your kind words.

[loveofhorses1970]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M30USA

I think most of your attention should be on the fact that you caused a husband to lose his wife. That's the real person who was wronged, not you or his wife.

 

 

 

Care to elaborate a little on this?

 

 

I think the situation was misunderstood by the poster of that comment. I can understand, it is a confusing situation and not common. The man did not lose his wife due to me. And in fact, they are still together but they are divorced. They were divorced prior to me being in the picture, for a year in fact. He misrepresented his relationship to me, stating they lived together for the children only. But in my heart, I knew it wasn't true and did it anyway. To me, they are living as husband and wife and my involvement was an affair..a sin. I've confessed it to the ex-wife and apologized, apologized to him for my part, and confessed/repented to God. I feel I wronged all three of us. Granted, so did he but I can't control his actions with taking responsibility. But I've forgiven him and am working on forgetting. I can feel the separation I was feeling from God lifting. Thank you for your kind words <3

[BeingMe]

Just another thought but...is it possible that shame is getting in the way? If you've repented (which simply means turning back to God) and asked for forgivenss, the guilt is gone, you are forgiven. But quite often we hold onto our own sense of shame, even though the actual guilt has been dealt with.

 

Shame can be useful to help point us back towards God. But we can also use it to beat ourselves up, long after we should have let it go. I believe that this unhealthy shame comes from low self esteem/worth and disbelief that we are really loveable.

 

I don't know if this strikes a chord with you, but if it does, maybe ask God to help you know that you are truly loved and loveable and that your worth is found in God, not in others, not in what you do.

 

Take care