So no contact?...like at all?

[SarahJames]

I broke things off with my MM because my feelings were too invested. I agreed to be friends with him, but I realized that wasn't good for me either, so I went NC without saying anything to him. He's been texting me for about 4 days now asking me to just text him saying I'm okay and he understands if I don't want to talk anymore. He sends me texts that he's worried that something happened to me. Is it safe to text him that I'm fine, that I hope he's fine, and that sorry I can't do this anymore, bye? That's not considering giving in, right?

[Owl]

Did your last interaction with him clearly tell him that there would/could be no more contact between you?

 

If so...then there's no point in responding to him...he's just fishing trying to reel you in again.

 

If not...then one last communication that simply says that it's over, don't contact me again, ever...might be worthwhile. Then BLOCK his contact attempts with you going forward.

[Ladydrib]

As long as you don't say another word after that. But he needs to stop contacting you so you can begin to work on stopping thinking about him. So yes, you should tell him to stop and that your well being should no longer matter to him seeing as you plan to never talk to him again so he will need to get used to knowing nothing about you what so ever.

[hippetyhop]

This is a tough one as it'll be grounds for him to open conversation.

 

When I broke it off with xMM, I sent him an email a week before he went on vacation ending it. He emailed me when he got back wanting to know what I meant by some things, and put in there if I don't reply, then he understands.

 

I replied BUT I kept my stance the same. It took me about 3 or 4 days to reply where I reiterated where I stood. I couldn't just not reply as I feel he needed closure as well. Some say he doesn't deserve anything--but I didn't want it to be a bitter end all battle. We went back and forth a few times a week with emails and I kept my stance. It was hard. I wanted to give in, I wanted my friend back. He said he just wanted to be friends and no physical, but it wasn't worth the risk. At the end of the day, ball is in my court as to if we can ever be friends.

 

If you want to reply to him, keep your stance and reiterate your position. Don't let him sway you otherwise.

 

I would have really regretted if I did not respond to him. Although it was hard, I felt I needed to.

[velvette]

I broke things off with my MM because my feelings were too invested. I agreed to be friends with him, but I realized that wasn't good for me either, so I went NC without saying anything to him. He's been texting me for about 4 days now asking me to just text him saying I'm okay and he understands if I don't want to talk anymore. He sends me texts that he's worried that something happened to me. Is it safe to text him that I'm fine, that I hope he's fine, and that sorry I can't do this anymore, bye? That's not considering giving in, right?

 

I would just ignore, but if you want to tell him NC and then ignore ok.

 

I would just like to point out that I (and I assume you) would ask the police to do a wellness check if I were truly concerned about someones well being and/or safety.

[AlwaysGrowing]

If you had not sent a NC prior, then sending one would suffice.

 

However, do not let the NC become a "I need to get the last word", as you are leaving it open for him to respond.

 

Just a short.

 

Do not contact me in any form. If you continue I will use legal means to have it enforced.

[whichwayisup]

I broke things off with my MM because my feelings were too invested. I agreed to be friends with him, but I realized that wasn't good for me either, so I went NC without saying anything to him. He's been texting me for about 4 days now asking me to just text him saying I'm okay and he understands if I don't want to talk anymore. He sends me texts that he's worried that something happened to me. Is it safe to text him that I'm fine, that I hope he's fine, and that sorry I can't do this anymore, bye? That's not considering giving in, right?

 

Just be honest! Tell him you cannot handle any friendship. He is married and that's not going to change. That you do NOT want to be his OW, a friend or anything and to please respect your decision to leave you alone. Wish him well and say goodbye.

 

Don't be passive and don't worry about if you hurt him. He's a big boy and can handle it.

 

Affairs end, and it's impossible to keep a friendship after a break up. fact!

[hippetyhop]

Just be honest! Tell him you cannot handle any friendship. He is married and that's not going to change. That you do NOT want to be his OW, a friend or anything and to please respect your decision to leave you alone. Wish him well and say goodbye.

 

Don't be passive and don't worry about if you hurt him. He's a big boy and can handle it.

 

Affairs end, and it's impossible to keep a friendship after a break up. fact!

 

This is exactly what I told my xMM! I told him he cannot work on his M with me in the picture. I told him down the road if they divorce, give me a call but I'm not holding my breath (not because I want them to get D and him back to me as that won't happen--I wanted him to think I'll wait for him how he strung me around).

[bentleychic]

I would send him a final NC letter. I would never want anyone to drop out of my life without another word so I would never do that to anyone, either.

[whichwayisup]

This is exactly what I told my xMM! I told him he cannot work on his M with me in the picture. I told him down the road if they divorce, give me a call but I'm not holding my breath (not because I want them to get D and him back to me as that won't happen--I wanted him to think I'll wait for him how he strung me around).

 

Just end it and walk away. Don't stoop to his level and play games. The A is over, it is what it is. Be the bigger and better person here.

 

Your healing and letting go depends on how YOU handle it now. Who cares about the affect of going NC has on him. Focus on you and not him/his wife or their marriage. He is no longer IN your life, so don't waste any head space or time thinking of him or wondering the why's and how's of it all.

[hippetyhop]

Just end it and walk away. Don't stoop to his level and play games. The A is over, it is what it is. Be the bigger and better person here.

 

Your healing and letting go depends on how YOU handle it now. Who cares about the affect of going NC has on him. Focus on you and not him/his wife or their marriage. He is no longer IN your life, so don't waste any head space or time thinking of him or wondering the why's and how's of it all.

 

I haven't contacted him since and don't hold my breath waiting to hear from him either, nor has he tried. Its been about 8-10 weeks. I've lost track.

[threelaurels]

NC is a mental thing. It goes beyond simply not speaking or responding back to him. If you want to go NC, you need to stop reading his messages, listening to voicemails, and recieving his communications. You need to hit the delete button right away.

 

As long as you pay attention to his communications, NC cannot prevent you from new hurt. The only way to do that is to will yourself to shut the door on him mentally without giving him the chance to stick his foot through the door.

 

Good luck. It gets easier with time.