At a crossroads

[oceanbreeze1974]

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. I love him very much but there are things that are lacking in our relationship and I am not sure if I should continue with it or if I should end it. I don't know if I am over reacting or if this is really an issue. I basically don't trust my judgement anymore. I have been married twice, both ended horribly. When I found my boyfriend, I really had no faith in men and he has proven to me that there are still good ones out there. He has never been married nor has any children. He is 41 years old and I am 39. He is very much a private person and quite shy. He is kind to me and my children. I can depend on him anytime, anywhere. The issue is that most of the time I feel like this is only a friendship and nothing more. During the course of our relationship he has only stayed the night at my house 5 times. And each of those times I had to ask. He kisses me like I would kiss my children, just a quick peck on the mouth, nothing more, EVER. He barely touches me when we are together. He will hold my hand every now and then but not often. When I give him a hug when we are about to go our separate ways, it's not a warm hug but a quick squeeze and then he is off. He has told me he loves me. And he always wants to help me out. I have tried to talk to him about these issues and he just says "sorry, I will try to do better." Nothing has gotten any better. I feel lonely most of the time and unloved. I am a very touchy feely person and love to show affection. Any time I try he cringes and says that I'm tickling him. I don't feel an intimate connection with him during sex either. I asked him about a month ago what he thought about moving in together and he gave me a list of issues. Basically, I just don't feel wanted or needed. I don't know if it's that he doesn't know how to be affectionate or if it's that he doesn't need that emotional connection. I'm a single mom of 2 and at this point I'm not looking to date someone for the rest of my life. I want to have a family, who lives together and does things together.

 

Do I continue and see what happens or move on?

[stormy_1011]

To be honest, it doesn't sound like you are very happy or that your needs are being met. If you continue on in this relationship, you will just get more and more frustrated. There are glaring incompatibility issues here. If it were me I'd say cya as I would much rather be happy and alone than unhappy in a relationship. You desire more affection, he seems happy as it is. He seems to be the one winning here. Next!