nicepuzzle Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I have been reading forums here for sometime and finally writing. So I told his wife and ended on my terms and excluded myself from his life. Now after 5 months I feel like writing to him, that I hope he enjoyed the aftermath... Should I do it? He was a philandrer, and I was one of his OW. he showed me all tears to make me in love and when I got emotional, cut contacts. Feel like saying last statement to him and confused. Link to post Share on other sites
unicorn farts Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Breaking NC never ends well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunshineToday Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 If you write him anything he will know you are still thinking about him. What if you write to him and he doesn't respond. What if you write him and his wife intercepts. Do not do it. Keep moving on. Don't look back. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Absolutely nothing good will come from you writing to him. You seem to be cycling through the anger stage again. It's ok, healing is not linear. Just get through it and keep moving on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicepuzzle Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 Makes my blood boil to see that he and his wife are leading life like nothing happened. Now she knows about all his affairs, she herself cheated in past and now they are playing family while i feel guilt sometimes for telling her or let that happen. I feel I am not done yet... Does he ever hink of me? Link to post Share on other sites
yellowmaverick Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I have been reading forums here for sometime and finally writing. So I told his wife and ended on my terms and excluded myself from his life. Now after 5 months I feel like writing to him, that I hope he enjoyed the aftermath... Should I do it? He was a philandrer, and I was one of his OW. he showed me all tears to make me in love and when I got emotional, cut contacts. Feel like saying last statement to him and confused. Good grief....NO!!! You are doing so well. Why would you want to revisit that mess?? Write in a journal or in a post, but don't send it. It would do more damage to you than to him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicepuzzle Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 If I dont tell him he will think I was just mad. Link to post Share on other sites
unicorn farts Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 What if he doesn't bother to respond? You would feel like garbage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicepuzzle Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 Want to leave this behind for real. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicepuzzle Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 I will write on my terms and reasoning for ending it the way I did say best wishes for him and his wife . So I dont care if he responds or not. He will get the message of how bad he was and why I took exterme step to cut him off. Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 if you were but one of his conquests he doesn't give a crap about you and sending him a letter, no matter how you think you are wording it isn't going to master to that man. he got what he wanted from you and doesn't care how mad angry and upset you are. it is a waste of your time. plain and simple Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Makes my blood boil to see that he and his wife are leading life like nothing happened. Now she knows about all his affairs, she herself cheated in past and now they are playing family while i feel guilt sometimes for telling her or let that happen. I feel I am not done yet... Does he ever hink of me? They most likely are not leading life like nothing happened. I know we aren't. My WH is a philanderer too and I have cheated as well (I had a revenge affair). I am sorry (((nicepuzzle))) the best thing you could do is focus on yourself and try not to think of them. At least you can move forward with your life and begin something new. As far as MM thinking of you, I am certain he is. I know my WH was concerned that MOW was okay after their A. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I have been reading forums here for sometime and finally writing. So I told his wife and ended on my terms and excluded myself from his life. Now after 5 months I feel like writing to him, that I hope he enjoyed the aftermath... Should I do it? He was a philandrer, and I was one of his OW. he showed me all tears to make me in love and when I got emotional, cut contacts. Feel like saying last statement to him and confused. NO! After 5 months of NC, and you excluding yourself from his life, why on earth would you disturb him and his wife, let alone open pandora's box? This is your ego talking, wanting to get 'last word' in or something. don't do it. All you'll cause is reaction and drama. Be strong and be wise. Move on, let go and forget him! If you reach out into your past and can't let go of this, then maybe it's time you seek some counseling to help you cope and understand why you can't let go of someone you already said goodbye to 5 months ago. Something is wrong there. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Makes my blood boil to see that he and his wife are leading life like nothing happened. Now she knows about all his affairs, she herself cheated in past and now they are playing family while i feel guilt sometimes for telling her or let that happen. I feel I am not done yet... Does he ever hink of me? Their marriage and recovery is none of your business or concern. How they've handled things is between them and you have absolutely no idea what goes on behind closed doors. In public maybe the act a certain way, who knows! But to waste time and plot revenge or wish hateful things on him after 5 months means you've not moved on or let go. He has. Yes it sucks, yes he may not think of you often, if at all...But who cares! Your A is over and you ended it. Stick with that and respect yourself. If you cave out of weakness, then you'll be letting the roller coaster ride back into your life..All for what? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 If I dont tell him he will think I was just mad. Again, who cares! he's moved on, you need to as well! He may not care one bit what you think or feel. He may never think of you at all and has put you out of his head. Is that a crime since your A is over? It's been 5 months, people move on, some faster than others. I get you're hurt and angry but let this be just venting! Don't react and reach out to him, it'll be a mistake. Best revenge is to live well, be happy with the people you do have in your life. Forget those who hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I will write on my terms and reasoning for ending it the way I did say best wishes for him and his wife . So I dont care if he responds or not. He will get the message of how bad he was and why I took exterme step to cut him off. Don't! He has not reached out to you at all. He doesn't care!! Write a letter by pen and paper, then rip it up. Or burn it. DO NOT contact him, you'll regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
hippetyhop Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Makes my blood boil to see that he and his wife are leading life like nothing happened. Now she knows about all his affairs, she herself cheated in past and now they are playing family while i feel guilt sometimes for telling her or let that happen. I feel I am not done yet... Does he ever hink of me? I admit--I've been there. Who knows what he told her. Unlikely, the entire truth. She's the one who needs to sleep and breath next to him. Who knows what she really thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nicepuzzle Posted October 17, 2013 Author Share Posted October 17, 2013 And leave u scarred and damaged. Why he should leave in peace and u wonder why he did that to me... Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 You ended the affair then told his wife. After a wife finds out they don't "live in peace" for a very long time. If you contact him you will prolong your suffering. There is no good answer he can give you as to why he did it that will make your pain less. As a BS I know why my WH had his affair. It didn't help me feel any better. I am sorry you are in such pain. Affairs can be very painful and damaging for all sides. Please stay away from him. Time will make the pain less. Staying in contact will start that time over. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 They can't take it away from you, unless you sacrifice that part of yourself freely. If he has your ability to love again, it's because you gave too much of yourself, and that, was foolish of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 NC is too help you move on and get them out of your life. The 180 is for you also, to help you have a life and respect yourself without them. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts