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Do girls really like a bad boy? - Consolidated discussion

aussie sam

By aussie sam
in General Relationship Discussion

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aussie sam Member

aussie sam

Posted
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I'm 26 and a recovering nice guy. I only had one proper relationship in my adult life (1 year) which ended about 9 months ago when my (ex)girlfriend broke up with me mostly due to distance. She was the first girl that I slept with and I was naturally heart broken….

 

Being naturally curious about everything in the world, I decided to embark on a journey to experience different woman in an effort to understand romantic dynamics better.

 

I've slept with 11 girls since then, and I found that the more of an ******* that I became, the more that the girls kept coming back. Now I actually have the paradoxical problem that there are too many girls for me to sleep with and Ignoring them or being mean (not intentionally) doesn't help the situation.

 

I know this sounds like the ramblings of a narcissist, but I don't put any of it down to looks or money etc. I think it's just the bad boy persona that I faked to begin with that seems irresistible to women.

 

It's an old cliche but I would love to hear everybody's thoughts on this. I know I am attracted to the ones that I can't have.

MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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What did you do to make yourself a bad boy exactly?

Carenth Established Member

Carenth

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Another cliche is "If I had a dime for every time..." this kind subject has been beaten to death and back.

 

Yes being a dick will attract a certain type of person. Probably not someone who you consider long term material in most cases. Generally they have no self respect or want to try and change sad "bad boy".

 

Basically the whole bad boy thing is really a guy who is not an ******* but won't bend over backwards at beck and call. Basically a guy who has self respect. That doesn't mean you have to be a complete tool. Just know what you believe in and stand up for your beliefs.

 

There is not many people who regardless of gender would be attracted to someone with no opinion or are just super agreeable to try and please the other person it comes off as weak, insincere and generally boring.

  • Like 3
Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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Some girls are attracted to bad boys, some girls are not.

 

I personally am not. When a guy acts like an as**ole to me, I just give up. It doesn't make me want him more, and it doesn't make me try harder. It just pushes me away.

 

 

I am attracted to the shy nerdy type. I like it when he starts to open up from his shyness and maybe have a little sassiness, some witty or clever jabs at an unexpected moment will make me chuckle. But straight up jerkiness? I'll walk away quick.

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ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

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Bad boys? No. They turn me off, big time.

  • Like 1
kendallk Member

kendallk

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I find bad boys to be annoyingly arrogant, egotistical and really shallow. I enjoy bantering with them and messing with them but I don't consider them dating material. If I needed to have a one night stand, which I don't do but lets say hypothetically, then sure...

 

ShaME, you sound liked my type at first. Then I read the part about you ****ing 11 girls and I was like "ew....turned off"

Another good guy bites the dust. You have morphed into a self absorbed twat. Less of a dating pool for Kendall.

Edited by kendallk
MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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I find bad boys to be annoyingly arrogant, egotistical and really shallow. I enjoy bantering with them and messing with them but I don't consider them dating material. If I needed to have a one night stand, which I don't do but lets say hypothetically, then sure...

 

ShaME, you sound liked my type at first. Then I read the part about you ****ing 11 girls and I was like "ew....turned off"

Another good guy bites the dust. You have morphed into a self absorbed twat. Less of a dating pool for Kendall.

 

This is why the "bad boy" wins. He can get casual sex.

 

You know how many "nice guys" are capable of the same? Take a guess.

 

Saying you don't like bad boys but admitting you'd sleep with them casually gives men the incentive to go the bad boy route.

  • Like 8
kendallk Member

kendallk

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This is why the "bad boy" wins. He can get casual sex.

 

You know how many "nice guys" are capable of the same? Take a guess.

 

Saying you don't like bad boys but admitting you'd sleep with them casually gives men the incentive to go the bad boy route.

 

 

Yep. Because men like casual sex, not relationships. Men get into relationships to get sex, they don't really enjoy being with a woman. This is all men too, the nice men just simply cant get sex as easily. There are no true "nice guys"

Just reinforced how shallow men are thanks. :)

carhill Established Member

carhill

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In my generation and demographic, women generally got noticed by looking pretty and men got noticed by performing brash actions. Bad boys are all about brash and they get noticed, especially when compared to average men whose actions pale compared to those of the bad boy. The ladies are attracted to selected examples amongst those they notice so, if one doesn't get noticed, it's cellophane. That's why the OP being more of a [expletive] and/or mean gets him laid.

 

I saw this decades ago when women were blowing by me to get at those behaving in similar fashions, not because they loved bad boys but simply because, comparatively, I was invisible. It wasn't so much in the what, as I was quite successful, had close friends and a wide social circle and was involved in the community, but rather 'how', in that I presented myself in a low-key, modest manner. Cellophane. That's how it goes, even today. It is what it is and people do what they do.

MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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Yep. Because men like casual sex, not relationships. Men get into relationships to get sex, they don't really enjoy being with a woman. This is all men too, the nice men just simply cant get sex as easily. There are no true "nice guys"

Just reinforced how shallow men are thanks. :)

 

And you reinforced the belief that women fall for bad boys.

 

You just said you would sleep with them casually.

 

Is that supposed to be some sort of punishment? Sign me up.

  • Like 1
kendallk Member

kendallk

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And you reinforced the belief that women fall for bad boys.

 

You just said you would sleep with them casually.

 

Is that supposed to be some sort of punishment? Sign me up.

 

I said if I was into that I would. Because that's all their good for.

 

Sure youd do it MrCastle. But you are sex obsessed by judging your posts and see women as **** objects and relationships as not worth the effort. Thanks for reinforcing my point how men are neanderthals

  • Like 1
MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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I said if I was into that I would. Because that's all their good for.[/Quote]

 

All they're good for is sex...but that's all those men want, so. That looks like a reward to me more than anything else.

 

Sure youd do it MrCastle. But you are sex obsessed by judging your posts and see women as **** objects and relationships as not worth the effort. Thanks for reinforcing my point how men are neanderthals

 

I was merely pointing out the silliness in your original post.

 

A considerable amount of men try to play the bad boy card in order to get laid - you came in and said you don't take them serious, but would sleep with them casually -- essentially giving them what they want.

  • Like 2
kendallk Member

kendallk

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All they're good for is sex...but that's all those men want, so. That looks like a reward to me more than anything else.

 

 

 

I was merely pointing out the silliness in your original post.

 

A considerable amount of men try to play the bad boy card in order to get laid - you came in and said you don't take them serious, but would sleep with them casually -- essentially giving them what they want.

 

You have a quote in your posts at the bottom. How did you do that? I wanted the bolded part to be my signature...it pretty much sums up the essence of men. Women who think men are more evolved than this and might care about them as a person live in LaLa Land.

MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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You have a quote in your posts at the bottom. How did you do that? I wanted the bolded part to be my signature...it pretty much sums up the essence of men. Women who think men are more evolved than this and might care about them as a person live in LaLa Land.

 

Bahhh. I think you took my post out of context.

 

I'm not saying women are only good for sex.

 

I was referring to your feelings towards "bad boys."

 

Which basically boils down to -- if I'm reading correctly -- that you won't take them serious as dating material, but you would sleep with them.

 

Which, if you're a lonely "nice guy" sitting at home reading that, and you're constantly being friendzoned, isn't what you said a good incentive for said man to start acting like a douchebag?

 

Isn't casual sex with a woman who doesn't respect him as a boyfriend better than being friendzoned by a woman who doesn't respect him as a man?

  • Like 2
HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

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If you're good looking, you can generally get away with not being a "bad boy", but you have to have one of the two for sure.

  • Like 1
kendallk Member

kendallk

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Bahhh. I think you took my post out of context.

 

I'm not saying women are only good for sex.

 

I was referring to your feelings towards "bad boys."

 

Which basically boils down to -- if I'm reading correctly -- that you won't take them serious as dating material, but you would sleep with them.

 

Which, if you're a lonely "nice guy" sitting at home reading that, and you're constantly being friendzoned, isn't what you said a good incentive for said man to start acting like a douchebag?

 

Isn't casual sex with a woman who doesn't respect him as a boyfriend better than being friendzoned by a woman who doesn't respect him as a man?

 

 

Yes, because sex trumps all with men.

GoodOnPaper Established Member

GoodOnPaper

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Yep. Because men like casual sex, not relationships. Men get into relationships to get sex, they don't really enjoy being with a woman. This is all men too, the nice men just simply cant get sex as easily. There are no true "nice guys"

Just reinforced how shallow men are thanks. :)

 

You're partly right -- even we "nice guys" really want sex and it doesn't take us long to figure out if we will likely be happier going the ONS/FWB or the relationship route, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't enjoy being with women. The problem is that when we show that we enjoy being with a woman, we're friendzoned. Willingness to be in a relationship seems to be an attraction killer in and of itself. Show the same lust for the "relationship guys" that you show for the shallower "bad boys" and you might see a difference.

  • Like 1
MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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Yes, because sex trumps all with men.

 

Surely you can see how a man who is constantly friendzoned might find it tempting to be an a-hole. Casual sex is better than no sex for the frustrated yeah?

 

Your entire point would have been a lot stronger had you not initially admitted to giving it up to the bad boy. Giving it up to the bad boy (who only wants sex to begin with) and proudly beating your chest that you don't get in relationships with them is nonsensical. All the bad boy wants is sex, which is what you're giving to him. So he wins. No?

  • Like 5
Pompeii Established Member

Pompeii

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You're definitely better off being a "bad boy" than being a regular guy. You'll definitely attract more women that way. All the women will swear up and down "no" but as always, don't believe them.

  • Like 3
nessaaa Established Member

nessaaa

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I think just like how men won't wife a girl with a bad reputation but will only datebhem, same thing goes for women..they want bad boys for the thrill, and drama but in the end a nice sweet boy steals our heart.

 

Idk. That's just a theory.

 

A girl who knows nothing about life likes *******s.

  • Like 2
emva07 Established Member

emva07

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Some girls are attracted to bad boys, some girls are not.

 

I personally am not. When a guy acts like an as**ole to me, I just give up. It doesn't make me want him more, and it doesn't make me try harder. It just pushes me away.

 

 

I am attracted to the shy nerdy type. I like it when he starts to open up from his shyness and maybe have a little sassiness, some witty or clever jabs at an unexpected moment will make me chuckle. But straight up jerkiness? I'll walk away quick.

 

ditto to what she said for me.

  • Like 1
almond Established Member

almond

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There is a huge difference between a guy that can be alpha and masculine when it's called for, and a "bad boy."

 

From what I've seen, the stereotypical "bad boy" isn't much more than a selfish kid that's lacking direction and common courtesy. The word "boy" is fitting.

 

Impulse control issues, shady morals and thinly veiled insecurities are hardly qualities in a man that make my lady parts tingle.

Outsider77 Established Member

Outsider77

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Women are sexually attracted to bad boys but don't usually want them for relationships.There have been various studies that show that women prefer more masculine men during the times when they are more fertile. Bad boys can seem more masculine because they tend to be more aggressive.

 

So part of it is that some women are attracted to dominant, aggressive males. I think the other part of it is that people often want what they can't have. For that reason, someone who is more aloof can be more attractive to some people.

 

I think a lot of young women also like bad boys because they don't yet know any better. I used to be like that. I have learned my lesson. Bad boys are only good for sex, not for relationships.

 

So yeah, for men who are just looking for sex, being a bad boy will probably get you more girls.

  • Like 3
emva07 Established Member

emva07

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Women are sexually attracted to bad boys but don't usually want them for relationships.There have been various studies that show that women prefer more masculine men during the times when they are more fertile. Bad boys can seem more masculine because they tend to be more aggressive.

 

So part of it is that some women are attracted to dominant, aggressive males. I think the other part of it is that people often want what they can't have. For that reason, someone who is more aloof can be more attractive to some people.

 

I think a lot of young women also like bad boys because they don't yet know any better. I used to be like that. I have learned my lesson. Bad boys are only good for sex, not for relationships.

 

So yeah, for men who are just looking for sex, being a bad boy will probably get you more girls.

 

"can't turn a ho into a housewife".....totally applies to men as well, lol.

  • Like 1
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Blah. I am not attracted to bad boys, sexually or otherwise.

 

Depends on your definition of a "bad boy" too. I am not attracted to spineless doormats either.

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