italiangirl Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 The guy Im dating was in a relationship for 6 years and has 2 kids out of it. I know that he cheated on her all the time. When him and I started talking, I trusted him completely. He said he wasnt messing around with anyone but me. A few months later I read one of his emails to one of his friends saying that he has sex with the mother of his children and she got pregnant but had a miscarriage. The same day before I confronted him about it, he told me that he had sex with some girl the week before. I let him know that I knew about his ex. He apologized and told me that he would never lie to me again. He lies about little things because his ex was psycho about everything and didnt want him to talk to females. I am not a jealous person and I dont care if he talks to females. I dont know how to get him to be comfortable with telling me the truth. My problem is now I dont believe anything he says to me and I always think he is not telling the truth and is with another girl. How do I get the trust back. Also...he doesnt ever want to have sex with me. He says its not me but that he just would rather "chill" with me and that sex is not important. This to me, means that he is having sex with someone else although he says hes not. What do you guys think? This makes me feel like he is not attracted to me and it hurts my feelings. How can I get him to desire me? Do you think hes messing around? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 How do you know his EX is a physco? Because HE said so.. hmmm RED FLAG. Ya know.. I'm very certain that a lot of people really have dated or been married to physco's.. however.. uh.. seems pretty odd that HE is telling you that SHE is crazy blah blah.. YET there he is willing to hit it with her uh? Hmmmm.... When someone lies to you.. it isn't right, and it isn't okay.. put that aside for a moment and go out on a limb.. maybe it was a lapse in good judgement the FIRST time it happens.. all okay.. you choose to forgive. When it happens a second, third, fourth ect time.. then it isn't a lapse in good judgement or a mistake.. it is intentional. It's easy to say you're sorry.. however it seems he ISN'T sorry for what HE DID, he is sorry he got caught and called on it.. again. Do I think he's cheating on you.. YES I do. Do I think he is worthy of your trust.. NO I don't. He has done NOTHING to regain your trust, NOTHING to make you feel secure, and NOTHING that would indicate to me he is remorseful at all. You said that this guy was with his EX for 6 years and cheated on her ALL THE TIME.. but then says SHE is/was the one with the problem.. hmmm.. kind of makes a person wonder what he will tell his next victim about you. I would straight up dump this assclown. Link to post Share on other sites
Author italiangirl Posted December 8, 2004 Author Share Posted December 8, 2004 He didnt tell me she was psycho. This is my own judgement from phone calls and things she has done to him. I havent "caught" him since then and I am trying to be understanding. I dont know if I am making excuses for myself staying around or if I am honestly trying to give him a chance since no one else has. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Originally posted by italiangirl The guy Im dating was in a relationship for 6 years and has 2 kids out of it. I know that he cheated on her all the time. When him and I started talking, I trusted him completely. He said he wasnt messing around with anyone but me. If he did it to her what made you think he would nt do it to you? Don't think I am being aggressive, I really want to know what made you different. A few months later I read one of his emails to one of his friends saying that he has sex with the mother of his children and she got pregnant but had a miscarriage. The same day before I confronted him about it, he told me that he had sex with some girl the week before. A different girl??? I let him know that I knew about his ex. He apologized and told me that he would never lie to me again. He lies about little things because his ex was psycho about everything and didnt want him to talk to females. Come on now!!!!!!! This is BS!!! He is with you now not her I am sure he is just used to being a liar!!! How is he going to blame it on here if he's not with her anymore? Don't tell me that he is "traumatized" He just likes to f*ck around. He obviously has no respect for you. Also...he doesnt ever want to have sex with me. He says its not me but that he just would rather "chill" with me and that sex is not important. This to me, means that he is having sex with someone else although he says hes not. What do you guys think? This makes me feel like he is not attracted to me and it hurts my feelings. How can I get him to desire me? Do you think hes messing around? GIRL HE TOLD YOU HIMSELF HE WAS MESSING AROUND!!!!!!! Why else would he not want to do you??? Because he is doing someone else!!!! You really need to open your eyes. All the proof is in front of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Originally posted by italiangirl He didnt tell me she was psycho. This is my own judgement from phone calls and things she has done to him. I havent "caught" him since then and I am trying to be understanding. I dont know if I am making excuses for myself staying around or if I am honestly trying to give him a chance since no one else has. Sounds like you already gave him a chance by dating him. He blew it, twice and likely more apparently. Dump his arse and don't look back. You aren't going to change him or save him or whatever. He'll just drag you down with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Originally posted by italiangirl He didnt tell me she was psycho. This is my own judgement from phone calls and things she has done to him. I havent "caught" him since then and I am trying to be understanding. I dont know if I am making excuses for myself staying around or if I am honestly trying to give him a chance since no one else has. Again.. I must say this.. there are 3 sides to every story, HIS side, HER side and what ACTUALLY happened. I don't agree that no one else has given him a "chance" his EX gave him 6 years worth of "chances" YOU yourself said that HE cheated on HER the whole time.. so how many "chances" is he entitled to exactly? You say you haven't "caught" him since you found out he not only cheated on you with his EX (Wow look at that she gave him another "chance") but another girl as well the week before he had sex with his EX.. so what else is there to understand? Do you really want to be "understanding" that he can't seem to keep it in his pants and tell the truth? I'm not trying to be mean to you... and I hope you know that.. I just really hate to see someone get screwed over by someone who obviously isn't interested in your well being, and continues to want you to give him another "chance" to lie to you. Good Luck with whatever you decide Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Let's see... he doesn't want sex with you, has cheated on you, he cheated on his ex all the time, he hurts your feelings, he lies to you... sounds like a real prize to me. You shouldn't be wasting any more time on that d!ckwad, if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea01 Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 I believe ppl can go from cheaters to non-cheaters. BUT, it takes A LOT of work, and if they're genuine, they wouldn't leave this many loop holes, and would answer any question to prove to you they are changed. The fact that you know his past, and he knows you know, and he's still inconsistent makes me wonder how hard he's trying to prove he's changed...or more importantly, if he even has. Sweetpea Link to post Share on other sites
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