He doesn't want me to date other guys but yet he is distant with me

[RoxyLove]

Ben and I have been friends and we are close friends. He called and texted me a lot in the beginning but I recently noticed that his calls and texts started to decrease, and he was becoming more distant and I think it's because I rejected him so much when he would want to go out with me, and he did try to kiss me and such. I was in a bad state and I wasn't ready for a boyfriend, I was going through emotional turmoil and I just really needed a friend. Well now that I am getting better I do want to date again and I do want to date Ben, but he was becoming distant and he told me he liked another girl and he was telling me basically how much he liked her, so I kinda said to myself "move on" but it is so hard cause I do like Ben.

 

Well Ben was out with my friend Mike and some other friends, and Mike was saying that he wanted to hook me up with Nate, and he said that Ben got all jealous and weird. Ben said "She is way too hot for Nate" "She is way too good for him" "I will never speak to her again if they date!" Mike said that his anger and jealousy was very noticeable. But it's confusing to me cause he just expressed to me that he liked another girl so why does it matter if I were to go out with Nate? Also Ben never complimented me to my face that is the first compliment I ever heard out of his mouth about me! lol! And when Ben did ask me out and I said yes to go out with him recently he would back out. Everytime he asked me out he backed out so that showed me he had no interest in me anymore. He was making me feel like I was a thing in the past, so he doesn't want me to date guys, but yet he is distant with me. What do you guys think? This is confusing! Please Answer!!! Thank you!

[Criticality]

Maybe he still likes you, and mainly mentioned the other girl to see your reaction. Or it could be the classic "my toy!" Syndrome...

 

You know, like when a kid doesn't play with his favorite toy anymore, but gets mad if you want to donate it or give it to one of his friends?

[central]

It seems to me that this FWB arrangement has run its course. He is controlling, and wants to see others, but doesn't want you to have the same options. Basically, he is looking for someone else, and you are wasting time with him instead of also looking for a normal romantic relationship now that you are ready.

 

As sad as it has been for me to lose a FWB, they are still friends and I want the best for them, so when a FWB is ready to date again, I am glad to get out of their way. (Assuming, of course, that we are not good relationship material for each other, and that is usually true with FWB.)

[Polak]

Evidently he likes to maintain control over who you're seeing. But if he doesn't buckle down and show some genuine interest, he is wasting his time trying to keep one hand on you. Based on what you've said, he is pretty much done with you. Don't let it be confusing! Just move on, and don't give a damn about his reactions to who you're seeing now. It shouldn't be any of his business.

 

Or it could be the classic "my toy!" Syndrome...

 

You know, like when a kid doesn't play with his favorite toy anymore, but gets mad if you want to donate it or give it to one of his friends?

 

YES. This syndrome is hilarious.

[jackierosa4]

Oh, I hate these kinds of situations. Seems to me that he has some kind of feelings for you. He is being "territorial". He likes you enough to get jealous when other guys approach, but he doesn't like you enough to be with you.

 

I'd say move on to the next. Just go on with your life. People like that only want what they can't have! That, or maybe once you finally move on he'll realize that he really does like you. And he'll grow a pair and actually legitimately be with you

 

Good luck!