iouaname Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 I don't know if many of you are familiar with me, but I posted a lot when I was going through a really excruciating breakup. Anyway, it's been about 10 months since my ex left me and things are... weird. In general, my life is so much better. I'm in the best shape that I've ever been in, I've found a lot of new hobbies that I love, I've made a ton of new friends and am doing decently in school. I've moved on to the point where I no longer feel so much darkness. After telling me that he didn't care if we stayed friends and telling people really insulting things about me, my ex has reached out 3 times since I've gone NC when I went away to school this semester. Truthfully, I don't care. So all in all, it sounds like things are going great, but I feel very empty. I feel like there's something missing from me and from my life, and I can't figure out what it is. I have dated a little bit and I can honestly say that I have not developed even small feelings for anyone in these 10 months. When I talk about this to people I just get "it's too soon" or "someone will come along eventually," but I'm honestly not sure. I genuinely feel like I might just not be capable of it again after what I went through with this breakup. On top of that, I often feel lonely. I think about my ex a lot, but it's always me telling myself that whatever I'm doing in my current moment isn't good enough because of what HE would think about it. I know that's crazy. I don't know - all in all, my day to day life has improved a ton and on the outside I feel like I'm much more capable of pulling off being "over it" but on the inside, I'm hurting still... quietly. And to be honest, I'm not sure why. It's been 10 months and to be honest, I wonder if I'm ever really going to be fully over this... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
robbysurfs Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 How your doing and how your feeling are two different things. How your doing is great your in good shape your on track and doing well in school. How your feeling however is temporary it will pass. I been through a few really hard break ups and this last one was suuuuuper difficult I felt like I was gonna die. Well, maybe I died a little but it got easier. I am going through the whole not being able to get attached and not having feelings for the new people I have been dating currently. That just is that they are not right oness or the timing is wrong. I do know this I am a bit older then you and there might be a few more great ones before you find "THE ONE" whatever that is but your young and have a lot of life to live. Don't get caught up in the "what if" trap stay present and live your life and the magic is there and I am saying this for you and myself. Tomorrow is another day for something or someone great to walk into your life trust this process it is for you to learn.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 I know how you feel. Although I am only at 7 months, I kind of feel the same. I wonder if we will ever get over an ex 100%. Especially when were so deeply invested in our ex's. Maybe we just learn to live with it and it becomes more and more manageable, but never really goes away 100%. Now, I mostly feel foolish and naive as I don't think my ex was ever invested as much as me, if at all. Makes me feel pretty lame and not very optimistic about the future. I guess we don't really have a choice, but to keep moving forward and hope, in time, things change for the better 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kruluk Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 mtnbiker ur not lame and shouldnt feel lame, ur ex is lame for not appreciating ur genuine love for them IDK if ur a guy or gal but either way it doesnt matter whatever ur looking for there is someone out there who wants to shower u with unconditional love 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kruluk Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 iouaname do you have a bucket list? maybe making a bucket list and starting to be able to mark some of the things off the list while doing them would be a great way to occupy yourself 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Thanks kruluk. By your post count, you are new around here...It's nice to hear from someone so positive Hope to see you around for a while ... well, you know what I mean 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I'm on 7 months as well. I had a rough 2 months, then 3 or 4 months where I felt like a new man, and the last 2 months or so feel like it's fresh. i think it's cause I started dating again and realized I'm not ready for it, which in turn flooded me with a bunch of memories. Aaaargh! Also in the last two months I lost my grandmother, mother was diagnosed with cancer, dog died and my friend hates me cause I slept with his niece. So....I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm concertrating on the good times we had..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Sometimes to be fully over it, the last step involves meeting that new person. :-) I don't doubt that this is true for many people. It might not be that healthy though. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Yes, we keeps missing them all the time, and when we are actually alone, it's like punishment. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Keep going and have faith.. All you can do. Cav Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Someone special will come into your life whe you least expect it. Thinking about your ex is normal, we will never forget about them 100% since they were such a big part of our lives but one day you will look at back and this I while you enjoyed your time with then, it was the means to an end. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 After almost 6 months I am living my life without caring who he's with or what he's doing with them. I do still love him though and think about him every day. Once a month or so I have a small cry about it; I can't believe we aren't together those times. I will always love and remember him, but it gives me a good feeling when I remember our time. I feel very happy to have met him. It has made my life so much better for it even though we weren't meant to be. I read one of your threads and I wonder, what positives did you get through meeting him? It's totally normal to never forget someone you were in love with. It's normal to not find someone you feel all that into for a year or more after the break up. You're doing so well, keep up the good work. My pain has not gone away entirely but I've learnt to live without feeling it as badly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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