humiliating experiece

[Ted]

Late last summer, while I was on a school sponsored campout, Kelly, a girl who was along, took a nude picture of me without me knowing. The showers were broken, so I decided to clean up in a river that was in a remote area. The bushes that I thought would give me privacy actually worked as cover for her, allowing her to get close enough to take some revealing photos. I did not know about this until reports came last semester that Kelly had an 11 by 15 naked photo of me hanging in her dorm room for everyone to see. My girlfriend, Sharon, was upset with me saying I had no business prancing around in the nude in front of Kelly. When I found out how Kelly got this picture, I tried to explain to Sharon what happened, but she remained skeptical.

 

When Kelly had a party, Sharon and I went to her room and demanded the picture. When she refused to hand it over, I just took it and left. Before I had a chance to destroy it, one of the dorm officials came by with Kelly and accused me of taking Kelly's property. I objected saying that Kelly had invaded my privacy when she took the picture. But Kelly said that since the picture was taken on public land, I could not expect any privacy. Then I told the official that I found it offensive for Kelly to display a picture of me that clearly shows my genitals. The official said that often art is offensive to some but the school policy is to discourage censorship. When I stated that in the boys dorm, we weren't even allowed to have swimsuit pictures on the wall, the official said something about trying to make the campus more friendly for the girls as a whole. In the end, I had to give the picture back to Kelly and she hung it back on her dorm room wall and invited anyone who heard about it to come and see it. I feel there isn't a girl on the campus that hasn't seen it.

 

The whole thing is not only humiliating for me, but it also has strained my relationship with Sharon. I feel she's loosing interest

[Tony T]

This is a pretty humiliating experience but it is one of those lessons we learn in life. Don't do anything out in the open that you don't want everyone to see and know about. Don't say anything about anything you don't want everybody to hear.

 

Yes, it is humiliating now but all the fuss will die down. The attention won't be on you forever.

 

Kelly is absolutely correct. Anyone who is in public view may be photographed...and that photo may be published...as long as it is not used to sell a product or for any other commercial use, such as to promote a product or business.

 

The best solution to this problem is to offer to pose for a photo that is suggestive, but not quite so revealing that can be substituted on the wall. Add some money...make payments if you have to...to get this photo from Kelly as well as the negatives. I would get your parents involved and let them negotiate a reasonable settlement to get this photo and the negatives out of circulation. Kelly would probably respond to authority figures and a kind gesture of money and another picture. It may be useful to have this negotiating session in the office of a school official...such as one of the deans...who could also be present.

 

If you ever run for government office or are celebrated in any way, this photo could come back to haunt you. It could prevent you from doing many things...even though you were unaware it was taken. It could also PREVENT you from being elected, or even nominated for President. And because this photo exists, the likelihood is even greater that such a circumstance will present itself in the future.

 

As for your girlfriend, you have learned that she is not very understanding or forgiving. She will not stand by you under such a circumstance that was not your fault. She does not have a sense of humor. Get rid of her and tell her to come back if and when she grows up.

[leah]

why are you scaring this poor guy. your answers to people's problems are incredibly clinical, sterile and cold.

[Tony T]

I don't know how you are able to read his mind to know if I am scaring him, particularly if he may not have even read the post yet. I just put it up a few minutes ago.

 

However, instead of scolding me...offer him more appropriate advice.

 

Everything I have said in my post to him is completely true and he needs to know it. I am sorry but I do not censor myself...so the only thing you can do is offer more appropriate advice.

 

You would be doing a great service to the forum if you would do so.

 

Many kind thanks for your comments and kudos on your mind-reading and psychic abilities.

[Paulie]

I find that in life, the best way to deal with 99% of problems is to "Take the Bull By the Horns"

 

Exactly what Tony attempts to do in all of his posts. Ever hear of a concept called "tough love?" Sometimes, the best answers don't make you feel all touch-feely.

 

But even if you disagree with me, I mustre-iterate Tony's comment...at least he was honest, helpful, and gave his advice...I don't see you offering anything except an unarticulate jab at Tony!!??

 

Paulie!!

[WGirl]

taken that picture and ripped it up right there and then but she may have the negatives. I think it is pretty rude of her to keep a nude picture of you that you never wanted taken. You may be able to bring her to some kind of student council or claims court to get possession of the pic and negatives. I think if you fight hard enough, you could get it back.

This is a pretty humiliating experience but it is one of those lessons we learn in life. Don't do anything out in the open that you don't want everyone to see and know about. Don't say anything about anything you don't want everybody to hear.

 

Yes, it is humiliating now but all the fuss will die down. The attention won't be on you forever.

 

Kelly is absolutely correct. Anyone who is in public view may be photographed...and that photo may be published...as long as it is not used to sell a product or for any other commercial use, such as to promote a product or business.

 

The best solution to this problem is to offer to pose for a photo that is suggestive, but not quite so revealing that can be substituted on the wall. Add some money...make payments if you have to...to get this photo from Kelly as well as the negatives. I would get your parents involved and let them negotiate a reasonable settlement to get this photo and the negatives out of circulation. Kelly would probably respond to authority figures and a kind gesture of money and another picture. It may be useful to have this negotiating session in the office of a school official...such as one of the deans...who could also be present. If you ever run for government office or are celebrated in any way, this photo could come back to haunt you. It could prevent you from doing many things...even though you were unaware it was taken. It could also PREVENT you from being elected, or even nominated for President. And because this photo exists, the likelihood is even greater that such a circumstance will present itself in the future. As for your girlfriend, you have learned that she is not very understanding or forgiving. She will not stand by you under such a circumstance that was not your fault. She does not have a sense of humor. Get rid of her and tell her to come back if and when she grows up.