WrinkledForehead Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 And everything is going fairly well! That's not to say that all is perfect but we're working on the one small issue we've had. It's mostly due to miscommunication/misinterpretation but for the most part all is good. We've both been incredibly busy, him with work and me with school and work and kids, but have been a spot of solace and reprieve for each other when we're together. We both look forward to the evenings when we can put down the heavy loads for a bit and find support and laugh with one another. We've settled into this nice calm. Its so good to be away from the stress of the A and not have that be a factor anymore. I haven't updated mostly because I've been focused on real life and incredibly busy. I hope all is well with most of you and that those who are trying to find their inner strength or maintain it are doing so. Xoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Author WrinkledForehead Posted October 17, 2013 Author Share Posted October 17, 2013 What is the issue involving miscommunication/misinterpretation? Im also curious what the situation with his ex is? Are they still friends or civil? Are you keeping the R under cover as initially planned? Glad things are going well. They are civil, not friends. He has talked to her once or twice a week to arrange care for their pets since she's had pre-arranged travels for work. Our two tense days were surrounding that, his intentions. His therapist doesn't understand why I'd have an issue with them being platonic friends and I pointed out that it's not platonic at this point, not when he's still feeling some emotions regarding leaving that R, and definitely not when she's still asked to see him because she wants to know why its permanent. This means she still has hope. Quite obviously, she wouldn't be over him within this time period. He's told her no, as he's explained why already. At this point, she needs to come to terms on her own. He told her when they split why he was leaving. It sounds like she hasn't fully accepted it yet. I set a boundary before he even left her and let him know that I wouldn't not handle him being friends with her after it was over. He agreed and understands why it is not possible for me to handle that and respects it. The issue of some future platonic friendship has been dismissed and he let me know he does not desire that. In the meantime its a slow muddle to deal with the disentanglement aspects. Their closest friends and family know of the split, and we've discussed the future date when I am introduced. Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 They are civil, not friends. He has talked to her once or twice a week to arrange care for their pets since she's had pre-arranged travels for work. Our two tense days were surrounding that, his intentions. His therapist doesn't understand why I'd have an issue with them being platonic friends and I pointed out that it's not platonic at this point, not when he's still feeling some emotions regarding leaving that R, and definitely not when she's still asked to see him because she wants to know why its permanent. This means she still has hope. Quite obviously, she wouldn't be over him within this time period. He's told her no, as he's explained why already. At this point, she needs to come to terms on her own. He told her when they split why he was leaving. It sounds like she hasn't fully accepted it yet. I set a boundary before he even left her and let him know that I wouldn't not handle him being friends with her after it was over. He agreed and understands why it is not possible for me to handle that and respects it. The issue of some future platonic friendship has been dismissed and he let me know he does not desire that. In the meantime its a slow muddle to deal with the disentanglement aspects. Their closest friends and family know of the split, and we've discussed the future date when I am introduced. Whats the lifespan of these pets? Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 I could have written this post. We went through the same thing, her not wanting to give up hope, which really was awful for her. She struggled for quite a few months, and even now still hasn't really moved on. The thing is, we have. It isn't easy to deal with for any of us really, but we are hoping that she will be okay. She is slowly coming to terms with things, but it's been a hard road. And she DID use the pets to try to draw him back in. He just did his part and kept it civil. I hope things stay good for you. They are really good for us and we couldn't be happier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Thanks for the update, Wrinkled! So glad things are going well! I've wondered about you and you've been on my little LS prayer list! Link to post Share on other sites
Author WrinkledForehead Posted October 17, 2013 Author Share Posted October 17, 2013 Whats the lifespan of these pets? Not very long for the one that needs his specific care. There's a reason I won't explain as to why it needs to be him caring for the dog at this moment. I've witnessed it myself and its important that it be him to maintain her quality of life for the brief time she has on this earth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WrinkledForehead Posted October 17, 2013 Author Share Posted October 17, 2013 Thanks for the update, Wrinkled! So glad things are going well! I've wondered about you and you've been on my little LS prayer list! Thank you so much! Lord knows I need prayer, even about everything I have going on and not just the R. It's very appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 I was just coming to ask about you, searched your name to be sure I had it correct and found this post. YAY! So glad to see and update and I'm happy it's going mostly well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I'm happy for you, Wrinkled. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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