Im so disorganized! Im late.. missing classes .. not motivated im scared & need help

[Emily55555]

Hi im a grade 11 student. I am extremely disorganized! I have lots of trouble getting up and ready for school in the morning. I wake up tired every morning. I spent about half an hour which still isnt enough on my extrmemely annoing hait that I hate. I have gym first perioud at school so i have to run arond to find gym clothes then make sure my school uniform is clean and use. But I am so tired in the morning... (usually go to bed around 11... and i wouldnt have time to go to bed earlier) My mom is also mad if im running a bit late so if everyones in the car except me even if i wanting towards the car she'll drive away. I keep missing my first period class because Im so disorganized. Im afriad Im going to get in so much trouble... like kicked outta school or something. I prolly have like 7 or 8 "unexplained absenses.. im scared im going to get suspended or even expelled. My mom is so upset when she finds out I missed the class yet again. She keeps telling me how shes not going to help me anymore and doesnt care if I get kicked out of school. Its also really easy to just skip my gym class because I dont even like it because I dont have any friends in it an its really stressful just being there. I dont fit in and im good in gym but i dont try becuz im afraid i'll do sumthin stupid.... Its not like I dont have friends though becuz i have lots of good friends just absolutely none in that class.

 

So anyways I cant do any homework at home at all because im way too distracted by msn or t.v, food or sumthing. The only time i can really get my work done is at school.. unless one of my friends start talking to me then im distracted again. I have a hard time getting motivated to do any school work at all. My older sister is extremely motivated and get 80's and 90's my other twin sister gets 70's and 80s and shes pretty motivated. Im smart, but only get like 50's 60's and 70's the occasional 80..... I missed 1st period again today because we had to be at school and hour ealier because we're taking a bus somewhere to do curling and we're doing this everyday this week. My mom just got back from driving my sister to school after she left me. She just told me right now that im done with school and i should just go out and get a job. I feel like such a failure! I need serious help. Ive been unmotivated and disorganized for my whole life, and I need to do something about it if I want to get into university!

I do. I always just think its going to happen but at this rate it wont. Im asking anyone for a reply Im desperate. Thankyou

[moimeme]

Go here and do the tests:

 

http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/addtests/adult.asp

 

You have listed a number of symptoms that are classic AD/HD. Constantly forgetting the same things, being chronically disorganized, and particularly having trouble paying attention are definite signs of AD/HD. There are great treatments for it and you can read books on tips to help you as well as get counselling.

 

If your test indicates you may have AD/HD, take it to a medical professional who is experienced in diagnosing and treating AD/HD in adults. If your community has a CHADD chapter, call them for a referral to a local physician or have a look at chadd.org online.

 

And do not let ANYONE tell you that AD/HD is not a genuine ailment. There is still a HUGE amount of ignorance about AD/HD out there. Even many medical people don't understand that adults can and do have it. People think that it's a kids' ailment and that you have to be hyperactive to have it. Neither is true. There is a type of AD/HD ('inattentive') which is usually the sort women have and lack of motivation is one of its symptoms.

 

There is a huge amount of information available on AD/HD - if it is what you have, you can learn a lot about how to help yourself Dr. Amen's site above is a great starting point.

 

Good luck!

[tiki]

Emily, I immediately thought ADD after reading your post too. Go check it out, it could shed some light on your problems.

 

I think some of your problems sound a little normal. You've got to refocus. Lose the MSN, the TV, whatever it takes to get your work done. Work in small sections. 1/2 hour periods if possible. Allow yourself to take a break every so often, don't expect to be able to stay focused for hours.

 

So treat yourself with maybe 1/2 hour of MSN after you complete 1/2 hour of homework. And go to bed early. You're clearly not getting enough sleep.

 

Cut back on washing your hair. This will save you loads of time actually, if you just wash it every other day or so. You save your hair from all the heat damage, plus save time while you're at it.

 

You're almost done with high school. To me, college was MUCH more enjoyable.

 

Good luck. But check into that ADD thing.

[Pocky]

You sound like a high school student that is more interested in doing things that are fun rather than focusing on school. Many of us were like that in high school and we didn't have ADHD. I'd say your biggest problem is procrastination and lack of interest in school. Since you feel it's a problem for you then I suggest talking with your mother to work out a schedule for you to follow. Time management is something that many people need to learn and it's not necessarily something you gain with age. Create a timeline for the tasks you need to do during the day and try to stick with it. Maybe a little structure in your day is all you need.

[tokyo]

I usually was late and still am. Last time I had to take a test. And I missed my train, the next one would have come in 40 minutes which kind of was a bit too late. I was lucky, the train was late. I had paid 120 - 130 $ for the test, you might think I would have been smarter, but I´m not. The next time I had another test, again, I had paid 120 - 130 $, it was better, but yeah, I was running..... (Train was late again, I can´t believe this.....) It´s hard do overcome one´s bad habits, but it can be done. I also know I get good grades when I concentrate and study, I just don´t always feel like doing it. I used to prepare my stuff the night before, but then I didn´t do it anymore. At school I used to be proud I never missed it except when I was sick. I went to university and from that day on I dissed classes that I didn´t like, but should have visited maybe.

 

It´s just a really bad habits and I wouldn´t always assume it to be a disorder. I know being late is crappy and I am a pretty ambitious person, I was usually on time before and I can get good grades if I really want to, so I do not think that these are things that are beyond our control even if we fail sometimes. I think it must become a part of your daily routine to prepare your stuff the night before and study when you have to. Don´t use excuses, tell your friends you need to stop talking for the moment, because you want to study. Try a library, people are not allowed to talk there. It works with me usually. I had exams where I set up a daily routine, when I started to study, when make a break, when have lunch, when go home. It works perfect.

 

I have problems to concentrate on things I don´t want to do. I could take a video game and probably spend a whole day being fully concentrated, so I doubt I have problems with concentrating. It´s a question of wanting. When I´m supposed to study for an exam, I might end up using a lot of energy trying to convince me to study, because I consider it to be useless and a waste of time.

 

Decide what you want and stick to it. If you decide that you don´t want to be late anymore, you can. If you want to have better grades, you can. It´s just a question of motivation. It´s hard, but you can make it.

 

Good luck

[Pocky]

I have problems to concentrate on things I don´t want to do. I could take a video game and probably spend a whole day being fully concentrated, so I doubt I have problems with concentrating. It´s a question of wanting. When I´m supposed to study for an exam, I might end up using a lot of energy trying to convince me to study, because I consider it to be useless and a waste of time.

 

 

For example - I need to write a paper about Rosewood today. It's due at 5:00. I haven't started. Instead I'm sitting at my desk surfing the internet and posting superfluous posts like this one. Doesn't mean I have ADHD because I can't focus on my paper and have no interest in writing it. Just means I bored with the topic as I've already written four papers regarding African American history...

[Dakini]

Gosh - all this time I thought I was just lazy and unmotivated! Now I know - I must have AD/HD..

 

 

Seriously though, you *could* have AD/HD, although it is my unprofessional opinion that it is one of the most over-diagnosed conditions, at least here in the US.

 

Emily - I am curious about the results of that internet questionnaire. Keep us posted - and good luck.

 

Yeah, Tiki is right. College is WAY better.

[Pocky]

According to the test I have ADHD

[EC]

I have AD/HD too..lmao w/e

[Elmo]

According to those internet ADD tests...I'll bet 100% of the people that click on and take the time to take them "have" ADD. Meaning that if you are late, distractible, etc. the test appeals to you....gives a reason for the behavior.

 

You may or may not have a brain disorder. More likely you are somewhere in the "normal" range...perhaps a bit leaning to the distractible, impulsive side. I say this is temperment or personality. What is your personality like? If I had to guess, I would say you are one to be a fun, joking, up person...on the go...interested in many things. Pls let me know if I am wrong or right about this.

 

Would you be dragging so much in the a.m. if your first class was one you loved....like Drama or choir or art or the like? You have to be honest with yourself.

 

Your Mom is serving you well, in my opinion. I know it is tough, but she sees how you avoid things you don't like and wants to help you figure out how to motivate yourself by yourself. You are nearly an adult...and she is treating you as such.

 

Oh, and by the way, just because you don't make stellar grades doesn't mean that you aren't smart in other ways. Not everybody is a good fit for college! It has been so watered down lately....everyone thinks they have to go. Well, you don't. You could be a fantastic artist, salesman, craftsman, real estate developer, found your own company.....These things take PASSION, not necessarily a degree from a 2nd tier college.

 

My husband would have certainly been diagnosed and drugged if ritalin had been more popular when he was a kid. Back then it was called "minimal brain disfunction" not ADD. Funny, not many parents were keen on having their kid labeled with that. Still, he is totally distractible, his office is a mess, he is upbeat, happy, crazy, disorganized...and a huge success in his career. He didn't even have a real job until he turned 30! Traveled Europe, Alaska, etc. instead. Everyone is unique. You are unique.

 

If you feel depressed and overwhelmed, then by all means, go talk to your Dr. Start with your family doctor first.

 

But if you are just feeling down about not being "perfect"....alot of us feel that way. Kind of normal. Growing pains, I think. They come and go.

 

Anyway, good luck. It is hard, but fun and exciting to be your age.

[bluetuesday]

Originally posted by Elmo

According to those internet ADD tests...I'll bet 100% of the people that click on and take the time to take them "have" ADD.

 

oh man, i failed. i don't have it. is there something wrong with me? i always fail stuff.

 

oh hang on, you mean my chronic lateness, inability to concentrate and laziness are MY OWN FAULT?

[Lil Honey]

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stop. Break things down into smaller parts or steps and attack each step one at a time.

 

You said that you have trouble with MSN or the TV distracting you. This is the time in your life when you are still a "kid" (interested in those things) and you are growing into an adult (interested in getting homework done and college on your mind). This is the time when you have to start making "adult" choices - and those aren't always fun. You will have to choose studying over MSN. Go to the library to study where it's quiet. Or find someone in school that is serious about their classes and ask to be their study buddy. (I think I've just aged myself with that term. *sigh* ) Twenty years from now, you won't be thanking MSN for being where you are, but you WILL be thanking yourself for getting the education that you deserve.

 

Next, see your school counselor. That's what us tax payers are paying the counselor to be there for. He/She will be able to help you with tips about school work and can point you in the right direction in regard to time management. There are also time management tips online as well.

 

Make a list of everything that you need to do. Cross things off your list as you do them and you will feel a sense of accomplishment. You can even get a calendar with time sections on it (like an appointment calendar) and block off the parts of your day so that you can see where you can fit things in.

 

I really have to question your mother's parenting skills, but that's not my place. It seems to me that she should be trying to find a solution, so if you can't talk to her, talk to a trusted teacher, counselor or friend's mom. Your mom should have a doctor examine you. It IS possible that you have ADD or ADHA. OTOH, you could have sleep apnea and not be getting the quality of sleep that your body requires.

 

Be sure that you are taking a multivitamin for women. Be sure, since you are of child-rearing age, that you take one with Folic Acid.

 

Lil Honey

[tiki]

The test says I may have Adult ADD. Thanks for the link, Moi.

[Emily55555]

My results say that is very unlikely that I have ADD... i never thought it was that anyway... Does anyone have any other suggestions without the whole ADD thing? As in methods i could use??

[moimeme]

Thanks, Emily, for taking it seriously. And rot in hell smartasses.

Emily, if you don't have AD/HD, then you need some serious training. You have to get yourself some books or take some courses on time management and organization and you have to motivate yourself by telling yourself the awful things that will happen if you don't follow through on the things you're supposed to do (fail courses, lose money, etc).

 

Once upon a time, back in the dark ages, people blamed schizophrenia on 'overbearing mothers and weak fathers'. Now, intelligent people understand that schizophrenia isn't all in someone's imagination but rather a valid disorder that causes a lot of suffering.

 

The disbelief and plain ignorance you're showing is disgusting. People go through their entire lives feeling like **** because they can't get their lives in order, because they are chronically disorganized, and for all the reasons the symptoms of AD/HD constitute a disorder and they can't fix themselves. It's not for want of trying. They try their asses off but fail constantly.

 

And now we've finally found out that it is a genuine disorder which originates in the brain and is biologically or chemically caused, people still have to get through this sort of bone-headed wiseass BS from people who think they are entitled to declare someone ill or not. And so people who badly need treatment and could benefit from it don't get it. Just as it used to be for depression or bipolar or any other disease.

 

I hope you keep your hateful, ignorant 'opinions' to yourselves when faced with someone who actually has AD/HD because you are not helping.

 

 

According to those internet ADD tests...I'll bet 100% of the people that click on and take the time to take them "have" ADD. Meaning that if you are late, distractible, etc. the test appeals to you....gives a reason for the behavior.

 

IF you would take the time to do them, you will find that none of them will diagnose you definitively - just suggest whether you should have it checked out or not. Just like if you piddle a lot, it's suggested you get checked for diabetes. It doesn't mean you HAVE it but that you have its symptoms and so you should check that out.

 

quote:Still, he is totally distractible, his office is a mess, he is upbeat, happy, crazy, disorganized...and a huge success in his career.

 

 

 

Well hooray. He's one of the lucky ones. However people with AD/HD make up large percentages of the people in jail, people who are chronically unemployed, and are over-represented among addicts and the homeless.

 

It is NOT funny to grow up with untreated AD/HD. And if people would focus on getting people diagnosed and treated before their lives go down the toilet, there'd be less to pay out in benefits, jail time, etc etc etc.

 

But hey, why try prevention when smug ignorance is so much more fun?

[Pocky]

And rot in hell the rest of you.

 

[tiki]

Originally posted by moimeme

And rot in hell smartasses.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you too.

[Elmo]

Originally posted by moimeme

Thanks, Emily, for taking it seriously. And rot in hell smartasses.

Emily, if you don't have AD/HD, then you need some serious training. You have to get yourself some books or take some courses on time management and organization and you have to motivate yourself by telling yourself the awful things that will happen if you don't follow through on the things you're supposed to do (fail courses, lose money, etc).

 

Once upon a time, back in the dark ages, people blamed schizophrenia on 'overbearing mothers and weak fathers'. Now, intelligent people understand that schizophrenia isn't all in someone's imagination but rather a valid disorder that causes a lot of suffering.

 

The disbelief and plain ignorance you're showing is disgusting. People go through their entire lives feeling like **** because they can't get their lives in order, because they are chronically disorganized, and for all the reasons the symptoms of AD/HD constitute a disorder and they can't fix themselves. It's not for want of trying. They try their asses off but fail constantly.

 

And now we've finally found out that it is a genuine disorder which originates in the brain and is biologically or chemically caused, people still have to get through this sort of bone-headed wiseass BS from people who think they are entitled to declare someone ill or not. And so people who badly need treatment and could benefit from it don't get it. Just as it used to be for depression or bipolar or any other disease.

 

I hope you keep your hateful, ignorant 'opinions' to yourselves when faced with someone who actually has AD/HD because you are not helping.

 

 

 

 

IF you would take the time to do them, you will find that none of them will diagnose you definitively - just suggest whether you should have it checked out or not. Just like if you piddle a lot, it's suggested you get checked for diabetes. It doesn't mean you HAVE it but that you have its symptoms and so you should check that out.

 

quote:Still, he is totally distractible, his office is a mess, he is upbeat, happy, crazy, disorganized...and a huge success in his career.

 

 

 

Well hooray. He's one of the lucky ones. However people with AD/HD make up large percentages of the people in jail, people who are chronically unemployed, and are over-represented among addicts and the homeless.

 

It is NOT funny to grow up with untreated AD/HD. And if people would focus on getting people diagnosed and treated before their lives go down the toilet, there'd be less to pay out in benefits, jail time, etc etc etc.

 

But hey, why try prevention when smug ignorance is so much more fun?

 

I've avoided you for a bit.

 

I think you think everything is directed to you.

 

It is not. Emily was our focus.

 

And, the "hooray"..."he's one of the lucky ones". I don't think so. He worked his ass off.

 

As far as the "untreated" AD/HD....very overdiagnosed.

 

You know, some kids are not brilliant. Not everyone is brilliant.

 

And...not every kid has to be a star. Some are normal, most, I guess. Some are dumb, some are smart. It isn't ALWAYS a disorder.

[magda]

I was like that in high school and they put me on meds for ADD for awhile (and anti-depressants). Turned out I had a touch of mono (apparently more than one strain of it?) and was never permitted to sleep it off, but my parents (and teachers. & shrink) just thought I was an apathetic little brat - and isn't it time for brats daily handful of pills?

Consequently I also believed I was lazy, worthless & selfish (and i was, to a degree), but the common knowledge that this was true lead me to behave even more badly - it was a prophecy. This of course added to my 'teen angst' and existing case of depression. Most of my difficulty paying attention was apparently a by-product of all that combined.

It wasn't until right before I graduated when I started fainting a lot that I was blood-tested and the mono thing came out. Then I became a functioning and non-medicated member of society.

[Pocky]

And now we've finally found out that it is a genuine disorder which originates in the brain and is biologically or chemically caused, people still have to get through this sort of bone-headed wiseass BS from people who think they are entitled to declare someone ill or not.

 

Drugs should be the last resort - not the first.

 

No one is trying to deny medical attention when someone has been legitimately diagnosed with ADHD. However, in the US ADHD has become over-diagnosed and used as the first explanation as to why children aren't behaving, aren't focusing in school, aren't listening to their parents at home and are acting "out of control". In the US we don't have socialized health care and we are bombarded by the constant advertising of the pharmaceutical companies that all you need are pills to make the world a better place. We see drugs advertised on TV, advertisements in magazines, advertisements at bus stations, advertisements in the lobby of a doctor's office and once we enter the doctor's office we're again being marketed to with advertisements all over the walls.

 

I don't understand why you, Moi seem so incapable of seeing things from a different perspective. No one disagrees with you that ADHD exists. No one disagrees with you that drugs do help some ADHD sufferers. No one disagrees with you that some people have no other option but to use drugs to help them. No one disagrees with you that there is a lot of uneducated people making decisions regarding a disorder that has a significant impact on people's lives.

 

The fact that your very first response to this 16/17 year old girl is that she might have ADHD clearly demonstrates the point many of us have tried to make. We're not trying to deprive ADHD sufferers of medical assistance. We're not denying them validity of this disorder. What we're saying is, "we don't believe that everyone that has been diagnosed with ADHD legitimately has ADHD and we are holding our doctors, parents, teachers and pharmaceutical companies responsible. We want people to be more educated on the subject before allowing a doctor to give their children drugs, we want more doctors to spend extra time with their patients to determine if there are alternatives to drugs and we want the pharmaceutical companies to stop forcing their GD drugs down our throats for mere profit."

[Elmo]

Originally posted by Pocky

 

 

Drugs should be the last resort - not the first.

 

No one is trying to deny medical attention when someone has been legitimately diagnosed with ADHD. However, in the US ADHD has become over-diagnosed and used as the first explanation as to why children aren't behaving, aren't focusing in school, aren't listening to their parents at home and are acting "out of control". In the US we don't have socialized health care and we are bombarded by the constant advertising of the pharmaceutical companies that all you need are pills to make the world a better place. We see drugs advertised on TV, advertisements in magazines, advertisements at bus stations, advertisements in the lobby of a doctor's office and once we enter the doctor's office we're again being marketed to with advertisements all over the walls.

 

I don't understand why you, Moi seem so incapable of seeing things from a different perspective. No one disagrees with you that ADHD exists. No one disagrees with you that drugs do help some ADHD sufferers. No one disagrees with you that some people have no other option but to use drugs to help them. No one disagrees with you that there is a lot of uneducated people making decisions regarding a disorder that has a significant impact on people's lives.

 

The fact that your very first response to this 16/17 year old girl is that she might have ADHD clearly demonstrates the point many of us have tried to make. We're not trying to deprive ADHD sufferers of medical assistance. We're not denying them validity of this disorder. What we're saying is, "we don't believe that everyone that has been diagnosed with ADHD legitimately has ADHD and we are holding our doctors, parents, teachers and pharmaceutical companies responsible. We want people to be more educated on the subject before allowing a doctor to give their children drugs, we want more doctors to spend extra time with their patients to determine if there are alternatives to drugs and we want the pharmaceutical companies to stop forcing their GD drugs down our throats for mere profit."

 

Dang it, Pocky! I've been trying to say this in 10 or 15 posts about childhood disorders. Usually just pissed people off.

 

You are one smart cookie.

[moimeme]

As far as the "untreated" AD/HD....very overdiagnosed.

 

OK. Science says different. The major AD/HD organizations say different. So kindly provide proof. Statistics, please, from reputable sources. For refutation of your point, please see the 'myths' section of chadd.org

 

You know, some kids are not brilliant. Not everyone is brilliant.

 

As a matter of fact, most kids with AD/HD are above average in intelligence. The issue is not that they cannot learn because of lack of ability. It is that they cannot pay attention long enough to learn sometimes. However when they're tested, they test very well in terms of IQ. In fact, one of the factors in diagnosis is that the person's achievements do not measure up to their potential - they should do much better in school but don't, even when they try to work.

 

in the US ADHD has become over-diagnosed

 

Again, that's not what the experts are saying. It's just a myth like WMD; repeated so often people believe it.

 

The fact that your very first response to this 16/17 year old girl is that she might have ADHD clearly demonstrates the point many of us have tried to make.

 

And I directed her to a test designed to indicate whether it bears further investigation or not. In her case, it did not. So where's the harm. She had a *lot* of symptoms; chronically forgetting the same thing day after day is an AD/HD symptom. Being unable to pay attention is an AD/HD symptom. Bad time sense and bad organization are AD/HD symptoms. And yes, everyone has some of those things sometimes but the point is that when a single person has a number of the symptoms together and they cause impairment to the person in conducting his or her life, it's time to investigate. And if it's not a disorder but something else - big deal!!!! It's not as though doing the test will automatically have a person injected with stimulants through the computer or anything. Yeesh.

 

I'm all for education - but you achieve that by underlining the seriousness of the diagnosis of AD/HD and tell people not to fool around with it - not by denying that people have it or rejecting the idea that someone should even do a pre-screening test.

 

Do you warn people away from the self-tests for depression? Cancer? Diabetes? All those things do is suggest whether there might be something to investigate - and if there is, thank heavens it's caught. If it isn't, no harm done and some averted.

 

Now if you want to help people, don't deny there is AD/HD or refuse to suggest it to someone. Instead, point them to reputable resources and tell them to be sure to familiarize themselves with the diagnostic routine and to get a physician who is experienced in treating AD/HD. The AAFP and CMA have both published their diagnostic guidelines and people can read on the topic until their eyes bleed at Medscape and a lot of other good sources.

 

I don't think anybody should just trust a doctor for ANY diagnosis - it's up to all patients to inform themselves, IMHO. NOT only folks with AD/HD. But I only see people come out of the woodwork and start spouting the myths when AD/HD is mentioned and it's infuriating.

 

Absolutely caution people to be careful in being diagnosed and treated - but issue that caution in EVERY case, not just for AD/HD. And please, please, quit repeating the myth that it is overdiagnosed unless you can provide solid, scientifically verified proof. Otherwise you're just contributing to stigma and making public education that much harder.

[Emily55555]

Nice about the ADHD thing but does anyone actually have some advice that could help me? As in things I could do like to make things easier in the morning. What do people who dont have this problem do? This whole thing turned into being about ADHD.... and i dont even have it

[tiki]

Emily, can you follow your parents as a role model?

[Pocky]

I'd say your biggest problem is procrastination and lack of interest in school. Since you feel it's a problem for you then I suggest talking with your mother to work out a schedule for you to follow. Time management is something that many people need to learn and it's not necessarily something you gain with age. Create a timeline for the tasks you need to do during the day and try to stick with it. Maybe a little structure in your day is all you need.

 

I reiterate. If you're looking for a quick fix there isn't going to be one. Decide what your biggest problem is right now and deal with that.