Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 then i'd be labeled a flake. this is rare chance for me... i tell her straight up how i feel, and i'm still hurting from the break up. but i'm curious on how things are going with her too. No you wouldn't be labeled a flake. If anything, you would show that you actually have stuff going on and you aren't some sad, weepy bastard who is going to make an ass out of themselves. I mean dude, I realize you haven't listened to a word of anything anyone says on here, but you are setting yourself up for disaster. Your expectations for this meeting are way too high. If you go out there pouring your heart, then you are just going to make a complete joke out of yourself. You need to go with the flow. Your plan sucks and it's going to backfire on you. But of course you won't listen to anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 then i'd be labeled a flake. this is rare chance for me... i tell her straight up how i feel, and i'm still hurting from the break up. but i'm curious on how things are going with her too. Don't tell her your still hurting. That will not make you look attractive. If you are going to go through with this despite what you've been advised, then you must be indifferent. You should be hearing her out at this point, not the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Yep, you need to be chill and fun if you do this (which you shouldn't do). Your game plan of pouring your heart and emoting and being a sad bastard is literally the worst thing you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
monkeymaid Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 You have to NOT do this!! I just read through your thread, and you should call this **** off now!! You are confused and seeing **** that is simply not there. Go to the gym instead, go to a class, drive to the next state over, but dont go see your ex!! ...unless you are like me and an emotional sadist. I promise you that you end up hurting from this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 am I mistaking you with scoot-scoot? Link to post Share on other sites
Justachip Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Go, but expect nothing from this. Expect her to not come back at all. You have the power and control to handle your own expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 f*ck. if i don't go, she's gonna say, "you had your chance, too bad, have a nice life *******!" i really want to make this work out. i miss her, this is something i've been hoping and wishing for. seriously this is like winning the lottery to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 f*ck. if i don't go, she's gonna say, "you had your chance, too bad, have a nice life *******!" i really want to make this work out. i miss her, this is something i've been hoping and wishing for. seriously this is like winning the lottery to me. Dude, you really need to pump the brakes. First of all, if she says that, she's lying her ass off. Do you really think that you not being able to go to one meetup means you lost your only chance at reconciliation? If she's serious about it, she'll understand. If she's not, she'll say something like that to manipulate you knowing that your weak ass will believe it. You are way too worked up about this, which means you shouldn't go. You are not in any shape to attract her -- in fact, the odds of you repelling her are high right now. You are a mess and that's exactly how you are going to come off. She'll be more likely to feel sorry for you (like she'd feel sorry for a stray dog) than be attracted to you. You really need to get your balls back before you meet with her. A "man" wouldn't care about how his ex-girlfriend who dumped him perceives everything he does. He'd be confident to know that his way is the right way, and that confidence would ooze sex appeal. You aren't confident and the only thing you ooze right now is desperation and neediness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beautiful diamond Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Please don't meet with her. You seem like a very nice guy, don't degrade yourself. The only reason she wants to meet is because your the only guy in the picture, for now. She has ulterior motives. Please tell her you can't make it, the resume NC. This wont' end well. How do I know? Over 4 years I was dumped by my ex, and took him back every time. Guess how it ended, through text, out of the blue, then he disappeared forever. Learn from my mistakes, an ex is an ex for a reason. Second chances RARELY work. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 You are treating this like it's the Super Bowl. Problem is that you aren't even in the playoffs yet. Your thread title is a perfect symbol of why you shouldn't do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 should i just call her then? she know's when i'm lying, so i won't make up an excuse. i'll tell her the truth, i'm not ready to meet. i'll ask her what her intentions are though. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 should i just call her then? she know's when i'm lying, so i won't make up an excuse. i'll tell her the truth, i'm not ready to meet. i'll ask her what her intentions are though. Don't ask her her intentions. Just text her and say that something came up and maybe you can do it another time. You don't owe her anything more than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Don't ask her her intentions. Just text her and say that something came up and maybe you can do it another time. You don't owe her anything more than that. god this is going to kill me. i'm want this so bad, and i'm curious on what she has to say. can't believe i'm throwing away this rare chance, this is what i've been waiting for! Link to post Share on other sites
Beautiful diamond Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 god this is going to kill me. i'm want this so bad, and i'm curious on what she has to say. can't believe i'm throwing away this rare chance, this is what i've been waiting for! We all don't want to see her break your heart again. I hope you choose you this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 god this is going to kill me. i'm want this so bad, and i'm curious on what she has to say. can't believe i'm throwing away this rare chance, this is what i've been waiting for! Whatever she has to say she'll say at a later date. But the fact that you are putting so many expectations into this instead of playing it cool is the exact reason you can not do this. You are going to make an absolute fool out of yourself if you go at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Yep, she has snatched your balls and put them in a mason jar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 It's not a chance. This woman dumped you and then bitched that you didn't "fight for her". Like some trophy. That's not love, that's manipulation. She wants you to dance to her tune, and you're doing it. You're apologising for HER dumping you! you're right, how many times have i heard her say something like that "fight for me." i did my best. maybe there was nothing wrong with me, it was her who had the problem. love shouldn't be like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Real love is nothing like this she said this to me when our relationship started going downhill.. "i just need to learn how to accept love from the ppl i love" thats her problem, she doesn't know how to love ppl back. its was like 80% effort from me, 20% from her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Helloprincess Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 You seem to be such an amazing guy! Don't do it! "Girls like to **** up with your conscience" like Drake says. And it's true. Take it from a girl! Leave it like that. Tell her you are not ready to meet up and just start living your life! You are going to find someone better than her, that you won't have to stop being yourself just for her to love and accept u. Yes, you have made mistakes. But it's only normal. Maybe it's also your way of preparing yourself to love the right one! Leave the past behind. "When the oast knocks at your door, it has nothing new to bring" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 We've given you all the advice on this girl as possible. You are going to do what youre going to do, but this has disaster written from top to bottom on it. Going to meet you is going to set you back LIGHTYEARS worse than what you are now. Dont go for the love of god. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Dude, I have a feeling that you're filling yourself up with a lot of false hope with this meeting. It wouldn't surprise me if she cancels on you or tries to "reschedule". I have a feeling that she's feeling guilty and wants to ease her guilt. That she's going to try and talk you into being friends. Therefore, you ended things on a good note. She'll think the two of you are cool and she can go on with her life without that gnat of guilt flying around her head. I speculate that this meeting isn't for your benefit, it's for her. Hope I'm wrong, but my gut is telling me otherwise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Dude, I have a feeling that you're filling yourself up with a lot of false hope with this meeting. It wouldn't surprise me if she cancels on you or tries to "reschedule". I have a feeling that she's feeling guilty and wants to ease her guilt. That she's going to try and talk you into being friends. Therefore, you ended things on a good note. She'll think the two of you are cool and she can go on with her life without that gnat of guilt flying around her head. I speculate that this meeting isn't for your benefit, it's for her. Hope I'm wrong, but my gut is telling me otherwise. maybe you're right. her wanting to do this is really strange coming from her after months of being indifferent, then angry, i'm surprise she wants this...i'm more curious to what she wants to say. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 maybe you're right. her wanting to do this is really strange coming from her after months of being indifferent, then angry, i'm surprise she wants this...i'm more curious to what she wants to say. I wouldnt even wonder or be curious. All its going to do is set you back farther. She only wants this (I feel) to sooth her own guilt and not to make herself look like the bad guy. If she honestly wanted ANYTHING in the form of reconciliation, she will try for it. This isnt really trying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 maybe you're right. her wanting to do this is really strange coming from her after months of being indifferent, then angry, i'm surprise she wants this...i'm more curious to what she wants to say. If she really had something important to say, if you cancel on her and don't see her, don't you think she would find a way to say it to you any ways? I think you need to be careful and realize that this may only be for HER and not you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 I wouldnt even wonder or be curious. All its going to do is set you back farther. She only wants this (I feel) to sooth her own guilt and not to make herself look like the bad guy. If she honestly wanted ANYTHING in the form of reconciliation, she will try for it. This isnt really trying. how is this not trying. maybe she does want a reconciliation, that's why we're going to talk, who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts