Simon Phoenix Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 When you reach out to an ex, as she did, you relinquish some power. She immediately recouped that, by bringing her friends along to the meeting (no coincidence). She doens't need to control the conversation as such, because she's controlled the environment. Bandito will be reluctant to say anything particularly meaningful because there's an audience. He's outnumbered (her friends are automatically loyal to her, as it should be). Thus, she has delayed any serious talk where she might be forced to make a decision. Now, when the OP is alone with her tonight, she will further exercise that power by making him think that she's into reconciling by using the most powerful weapon - sex. Man, she's good. *shakes head* OP, you've been warned. Cross your legs! The best thing to do now, would be to cancel things in a quick text. Exactly like this: "Sorry, something's come up. Raincheck re: tonight?" Then go dark. No answering any attempts at communication. It'd drive her nuts, because you've just wrestled control from her. You're never going to be able to be in the driver's seat, or even the passenger seat, in a relationship with her. You're the dog tied up in the tray on the back of the truck. That's as far as you get. The only control you have, is denying her anything to do with you. The odds of Bandito having the stones to do this are low. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 You can checkmate it all with this Bandito, take your power back. Cancel and disappear. And focus on what truly matters which is YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 (edited) omg, an hour ago she sends a text saying we need to talk now because she's still at work. so i told her straight up what i want, nothing more. i didn't beg, talk about the past, pour my heart out.... she responds saying "what we had in the past wasn't real, because you never gave me 100% i never loved you because it was all lies. i'm no longer physically, emotionally, and mentally connected with you, but i wish i could be." saying she wants to find happiness without me. there's a lot more, i don't want to read it all. its really mean basically. i responded saying, "i didn't give you 100% because i was hurting when our relationship got rocky, and you expected me to give my everything when i haven't had a chance to heal?! everyone say's that you're the one who should be begging to come back. that you're the one who lost a good person." i'm hurt from what she said, so i put my phone away. the past hour i got a total of 20 texts. time for NC to begin, again, for good. Edited October 23, 2013 by Bandito Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 omg, an hour ago she sends a text saying we need to talk now because she's still at work. so i told her straight up what i want, nothing more. i didn't beg, talk about the past, pour my heart out.... she responds saying "what we had in the past wasn't real, because you never gave me 100% i never loved you because it was all lies. i'm no longer physically, emotionally, and mentally connected with you, but i wish i could be." saying she wants to find happiness without me. there's a lot more, i don't want to read it all. its really mean basically. i responded saying, "i didn't give you 100% because i was hurting when our relationship got rocky, and you expected me to give my everything when i haven't had a chance to heal?! everyone say's that you're the one who should be begging to come back. that you're the one who lost a good person." i'm hurt from what she said, so i put my phone away. the past hour i got a total of 20 texts. time for NC to begin, again, for good. Well.....I hope you do. Thats all I can really say. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I hope so as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 man, f*ck her. she's psycho, who acts like this?! i only said i want us to have another shot, to make things right. i didn't accuse her of anything or tell her off, yet she treats it like that. i want to call her a bitch for the first time ever and just end this. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 She has a clear objective and she is sticking to it. You no longer have to worry about her. YOU have now become the most important person in your life, time to heal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Bandito: block the bitch forever. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 i'm not even hurting to tell you guys the truth. this gives me a peace of mind knowing what she wants. i feel i finally let go. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 i'm not even hurting to tell you guys the truth. this gives me a peace of mind knowing what she wants. You know it is over for real, and there is some peace in that. You will go through a lot of emotions, but we will be here for you. NC all the way. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 This is just the beginning my friend, hang tight. We are here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 i may hurt later on. but now i'm laughing at her, i mean 20 long texts within an hour? and i'm ignoring it all. haha i feel like print screening it on instagram to show how psycho she is to everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 omg, an hour ago she sends a text saying we need to talk now because she's still at work. so i told her straight up what i want, nothing more. i didn't beg, talk about the past, pour my heart out.... she responds saying "what we had in the past wasn't real, because you never gave me 100% i never loved you because it was all lies. i'm no longer physically, emotionally, and mentally connected with you, but i wish i could be." saying she wants to find happiness without me. there's a lot more, i don't want to read it all. its really mean basically. i responded saying, "i didn't give you 100% because i was hurting when our relationship got rocky, and you expected me to give my everything when i haven't had a chance to heal?! everyone say's that you're the one who should be begging to come back. that you're the one who lost a good person." i'm hurt from what she said, so i put my phone away. the past hour i got a total of 20 texts. time for NC to begin, again, for good. She's angry with you. Tell her not to contact you anymore and move on. All you are doing is stirring up her emotions by responding. Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 i may hurt later on. but now i'm laughing at her, i mean 20 long texts within an hour? and i'm ignoring it all. haha i feel like print screening it on instagram to show how psycho she is to everyone. I'm glad you're laughing and keeping a good head about this in the moment! It will hurt later, but it'll be easier because you'll still be able to laugh even through the pain. You hurt her ego by not being affected by her bad behavior. Don't post anything anywhere and don't respond. Let her stew in her own horrible actions - if you do ANYTHING, she'll justify them. She's an awful human, but even the worst of us can learn. Silence is all she deserves, and she'll feel the more ashamed for it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 i may hurt later on. but now i'm laughing at her, i mean 20 long texts within an hour? and i'm ignoring it all. haha i feel like print screening it on instagram to show how psycho she is to everyone. This is YOUR power, don't you dare let go of it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 She's angry with you. Tell her not to contact you anymore and move on. All you are doing is stirring up her emotions by responding. i just don't see it, why would she be angry? apparently she says all i did wrong was not give 100% complete BS, she was happy for a long time. always pointing the finger at me, because she can't see what she did wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 i was watching this, it actually helped. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 i just don't see it, why would she be angry? apparently she says all i did wrong was not give 100% complete BS, she was happy for a long time. always pointing the finger at me, because she can't see what she did wrong. Don't attempt to rationalize the irrational, let it be and move forward. You have absolutely nothing to explain to her, no need to reply. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 i just don't see it, why would she be angry? apparently she says all i did wrong was not give 100% complete BS, she was happy for a long time. always pointing the finger at me, because she can't see what she did wrong. Don't start asking why. You will never be able to understand. I finally feel that I have some grasp of WHY my relationship ended like it did. However, that fragile understanding in no way exempts me from reliving the pain and going through the peaks and valleys grief. We are all stuck in the same boat in the end. We can go down with the Titanic, or we can jump ship to better things. Your new life starts now. On to bigger and better things and new love one day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 i just don't see it, why would she be angry? apparently she says all i did wrong was not give 100% complete BS, she was happy for a long time. always pointing the finger at me, because she can't see what she did wrong. No one should ever expect 100% from their partner all the time. That's selfish and immature. If that's what she wanted from you...then she doesn't deserve you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 . i'm hurt from what she said, so i put my phone away. the past hour i got a total of 20 texts. time for NC to begin, again, for good. Wow, either she's got a lot of guilt or she was spitting out more hateful things because you "offended her". NC dude. Time to FINALLY heal and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I feel like this is FAR from being done with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 Wow, either she's got a lot of guilt or she was spitting out more hateful things because you "offended her". NC dude. Time to FINALLY heal and move on. never has she done this. who knows whats going through her head. i mean if someone asks for a second chance, all you have to say is yes or no. not bring up past events. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 never has she done this. who knows whats going through her head. i mean if someone asks for a second chance, all you have to say is yes or no. not bring up past events. Meh, my ex pulled a similar stunt a few months ago, and I didn't even say anything about wanting to get back together. For whatever reason she has a lot of resentment toward you and doesn't do a good job of filtering her emotions and expressing herself. Let her piss and moan and stew -- no need to try to interject. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Meh, my ex pulled a similar stunt a few months ago, and I didn't even say anything about wanting to get back together. For whatever reason she has a lot of resentment toward you and doesn't do a good job of filtering her emotions and expressing herself. Let her piss and moan and stew -- no need to try to interject. Good point. My ex did the exact same thing. Told me she couldnt wait to see me Sunday, broke up on a Monday, told me for a month she was coming back and had to work on stuff, and then bi**hed me out for months ago how awful I was and how much trash I am. Lol its funny looking back on it right now, but that's how people can change in a short instance. Go FULL NO CONTACT!! Honestly, we've all been there so listen to us. Link to post Share on other sites
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