ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 how is this not trying. maybe she does want a reconciliation, that's why we're going to talk, who knows? Trust me.....you would KNOW if she ever wanted to reconcile. This isnt it...and if it IS, then its a stop gap for herself until something better just happens to come along. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 how is this not trying. maybe she does want a reconciliation, that's why we're going to talk, who knows? C'mon dude, you can't be this naive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sparkle304 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I've read this entire thread, and from the responses the OP has given, it's obvious that he wants to see her. So OP, I think you should go and meet up with her. If you don't go, I strongly suspect that you'll be playing the 'what if' game with yourself for months to come. Will it all work out? Maybe....maybe not. If you end up getting hurt again, well, that's life. Sometimes you just need to take the risk. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I want to give Bandito a crash helmet and one of those padded sumo-wrestling costumes. He's going to need it. He's building this up way too much. There's absolutely no indication whatsoever that she wants to get back, yet he's treating it like a World Cup final. It really is going to be ugly, because he's not ready yet he's so afraid/panicked/desperate that he'll run into shark-infested waters. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Please don't do it. You will save yourself a sh*t load of grief later on down the line. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 I've read this entire thread, and from the responses the OP has given, it's obvious that he wants to see her. So OP, I think you should go and meet up with her. If you don't go, I strongly suspect that you'll be playing the 'what if' game with yourself for months to come. Will it all work out? Maybe....maybe not. If you end up getting hurt again, well, that's life. Sometimes you just need to take the risk. Good luck! off course i want to meet up with her, i miss her! is it the right thing to do, no. i have til sunday to decide. you are right, if i don't go, i'd be spending forever saying to myself, what if...i'll live with regret and the pain of not knowing. i wish i had a time machine, so i can choose both ways, and see the outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Take charge and make YOUR decision. Understand that meeting with her will be utterly detrimental and will set you back substantially leaving you all alone to pick yourself up all over again. No need to self inflict excruciating pain, we deal with enough of it as it is on a daily basis. And when you make YOUR decision you will no longer have to worry about all the unknowns and what it's because by making the conscious decision of not meeting with her you will by default eliminate all those unknown variables. Do this for you and no one else and understand that nothing good will come out of it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 off course i want to meet up with her, i miss her! is it the right thing to do, no. i have til sunday to decide. you are right, if i don't go, i'd be spending forever saying to myself, what if...i'll live with regret and the pain of not knowing. i wish i had a time machine, so i can choose both ways, and see the outcome. Once again, you are putting way too much pressure and expectations on this meeting, which is why you shouldn't go. The fact that you think it will be some epic regret if you don't is the exact reason why you shouldn't go. You have built this up so much that it's going to be ugly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 off course i want to meet up with her, i miss her! is it the right thing to do, no. i have til sunday to decide. you are right, if i don't go, i'd be spending forever saying to myself, what if...i'll live with regret and the pain of not knowing. i wish i had a time machine, so i can choose both ways, and see the outcome. Pick and choosing advice that you WANT to hear will keep those colored glasses on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 The dude is going to go, this is 5 pages of wasted breath. We all may have experienced this and been burned, but he has yet to learn from this mistake. He's going to have to go and realize what a horrible mistake it was before he realizes that it's not a good idea. He'll learn on his own. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 come on people. he is another "scoot scoot". he wouldn't listen to any advice. save your time just let him go. it's not like he hasnt been crushed 1000 times already. he will be alright and be ready for the next crush in no time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 come on people. he is another "scoot scoot". he wouldn't listen to any advice. save your time just let him go. it's not like he hasnt been crushed 1000 times already. he will be alright and be ready for the next crush in no time. why do you keep calling me that? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 The dude is going to go, this is 5 pages of wasted breath. We all may have experienced this and been burned, but he has yet to learn from this mistake. He's going to have to go and realize what a horrible mistake it was before he realizes that it's not a good idea. He'll learn on his own. Probably right, but eventually there has to be someone who listens, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 everyone, i didn't come here for advice on if i should go, it was already set in stone. i need advice to prepare myself for what to happen, i'm already aware for the worst, but i'm hoping for the best. i told her earlier, "i'm hoping i won't end up disappointed and left with false hope." she told me "we're going to talk this out." Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 everyone, i didn't come here for advice on if i should go, it was already set in stone. i need advice to prepare myself for what to happen, i'm already aware for the worst, but i'm hoping for the best. i told her earlier, "i'm hoping i won't end up disappointed and left with false hope." she told me "we're going to talk this out." Wake up buddy, wake up. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 everyone, i didn't come here for advice on if i should go, it was already set in stone. i need advice to prepare myself for what to happen, i'm already aware for the worst, but i'm hoping for the best. i told her earlier, "i'm hoping i won't end up disappointed and left with false hope." she told me "we're going to talk this out." Well, that's the advice you are getting, which you obviously aren't going to listen to. Might as well stop posting in here then, because that's what we are saying. You aren't even remotely in the same planet of being in the right mindset for this meeting. You are scared, you have no backbone, you are panicked, you are needy. I mean, even if on the off chance she does take you back, you are going to be back here (or on a similar site) pouring your heart out again after it fails again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 how to prepare for the worst? do you know how to eat and how to take a dump? Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Yeah. :-( Still... the pain is going to be nasty. Makes me sad... Eh, I think he should go. People only learn when they do things for themselves. That's the only way we grow and evolve into something better. So, Bandito, good luck, wish you well. Use this as a major learning experience. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 "i'm hoping i won't end up disappointed and left with false hope." she told me "we're going to talk this out." This is the equivalent of walking into a cage and telling your opponent, "I'll step in with you but please don't hurt me" oh she will f*ck you up! Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Just know this. You weren't "the one" 4 months ago, and you're not "the one" now. She's just bored/lonely/hasn't found anything else just yet. My ex and his ex before me went through this same game for SIX YEARS. She left him like 2 or 3 times, each time she went off and tried to date others, and ultimately kept coming back to him. And like a crazy person, he kept taking her back because "he loved her." She only kept coming back because she didn't find anyone in the breaks she took from him. Their relationship did not turn out well. He wound up cheating on her, they resented each other at the end and were only with each other out of mere obligation. These relationships are toxic, unhealthy, and never become "happily ever after." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 **edited for typos** Here's what will happen if you meet her: She'll twist what hppened between you to to basically turn you into an apologising, pleading mess. "Baby, I'm so sorry, I've changed" etc. She'll extract all sorts of promises from you about how you're supposed to date her, and it will basically be treating her like the entitled princess she believes she is. It'll be super rosy for a couple of months before she gets bored - after all, the chase is finished. She managed to catch her prize again. She'll start whining about how nothing had changed etc etc, and then she'll either get "caught" in a compromising position (like texting another guy), or she'll just start taking longer and longer to reply to an email or text. Here's what will happen if you don't meet her: You will take the first step in exercising control over this train wreck. Refusal to meet her will almost certainly instigate an increase in contact from her and in all likelihood, a pretty spectacular tantrum. You will ignore it. There probably will be some intimidation tactics to try and get you to meet her ("If you loved me...!" etc) after which, hopefully, you will get the message. You will meet someone better. Sometime drama-free. Someone who freely gives affection and love without holding it to ransom. And your ex will find some other poor sucker to make her little bitch. There you go, does that adequately prepare you? Speaks the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 everyone, i didn't come here for advice on if i should go, it was already set in stone. i need advice to prepare myself for what to happen, i'm already aware for the worst, but i'm hoping for the best. i told her earlier, "i'm hoping i won't end up disappointed and left with false hope." she told me "we're going to talk this out." No one is going to give you that advice because there IS NONE! Its like saying "what should I wear before I walk into a fire." Doesn't matter. Enjoy Sunday 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 (edited) Here's what will happen if you meet her: She'll twist what hastened between you to to basically turn you into an apologising, playing mess. "Baby, I'm so sorry, I've changed" etc. She'll extract all sorts of outhouses from you about how you're supposed to date her, and it will basically be treating her like the entitled princess she believes she is. It'll be super rosy for a couple of months before she gets bored - after all, the chase is finished. She managed to catch her prize again. She'll start whining about how nothing had changed etc etc, and then she'll either get "caught" in a compromising position (like texting another guy), or she'll just start taking longer and longer to reply to an email or text. Here's what will happen if you don't meet her: You will take the first step in exercising control over this train wreck. Refusal to meet her will almost certainly instigate an increase in contact from her and in all likelihood, a pretty spectacular tantrum. You will ignore it. There probably will be some intimidation tactics to try and get you to meet her ("If you loved me...!" etc) after which, hopefully, you will get the message. You will meet someone better. Sometime drama-free. Someone who freely gives affection and love without holding it to ransom. And your ex will find some other poor sucker to make her little bitch. There you go, does that adequately prepare you? you know maybe you're right. my ex isn't the only girl in the world. i don't need all this drama. tonight when i went out, i was standing in line, and me and this hot girl made eye contact a couple of times...then she walked over 10 feet, stopped, and "accidently" bumped into me. we just smiled, but i didn't make a move because she was with all these guys.. anyways, maybe i could be better off without my ex. if i find a nice girl, i won't be in pain anymore, and i won't miss my ex. Edited October 19, 2013 by Bandito Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 my mixed emotions are more like 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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