loosinghope Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Ok, so I've posted two other topics on here recently. I have the conclusion to the soap opera, but now I don't know what to do! First my boyfriend told me he didn't love me romanticaly anymore. Then I was bad and snooped in his e-mail and found that he had been sending pictures of himself to guys on the internet. He claims he didn't do anything wrong, yet he was given directions to meet up with one of them, some other guy had been calling his cell phone and he denies that too.. yet I saw it with my own eyes. Then his sister tells him that I've been snooping in his stuff for sometime now, and that I've BEEN checking his e-mail. This is impossible considering I just now got his password a week ago. That was the first and only time i looked. I needed to know. It wasn't fair he had been lieing to me all this time. When your boyfriend doesn't touch you AT ALL, doesn't want to hug you, kiss you, or cuddle.. there is something obviously wrong. He thinks giving me the cold shoulder isn't treating me awful. Well all of our freinds think other wise. They all said it made them mad how he was treating me. After all the support, love, and care I have been giving him since his life fell apart. He has no money, no car, and no jb. He's depressed, and miserable. So last night he decided that he no longer wants to be in a relationship. First he tells me he loves me a lot.. just not romanticaly. I said he's lieing! How can you fall in and out of love with someone? Especialy since he said allt he time that he's loved me for so long. I think he's confused with his sexuality, and he just doesn't know what he wants. Either way he's hurt me more then I can ever discribe. I loved him more then any other guy I have ever known. And he walked all over me. I've gone out of my way for him, been there through a lot more then any other girl ever would have been, put up with more then most, and yet I get my heart ripped out and stomped all over. He lied and cheated on me, and thats hard to get over. It makes me even more mad that his sister, who always said she wanted us to work things out and was on my side, back stabbed me and told him lies about me snooping around all the time. I didn't and that hurts even more. He will never believe me, no matter what. I wouldn't do that to him, and yet he still thinks he's in the right. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong! Must be nice to persue other people and not feel guilty about it. It must be nice to hurt people you supposidly care so much about and not feel guilty about it. Wish it was that easy for me! Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 I actually have the guys point of view about this exact same situation. My bestfriend had this guy friend and they went out on a date. Well the date bombed becasue she sat there and talked about her ex all day and he talked about his ex and then they kissed and it was weird. I always thought something was fishy about the guy. So w/e they go out again and he admits to her that he thinks he is gay. Or might be or w/e. That he is really confused about his sexuality. That he likes girls and sex with girls and yet he catches himself checking out guys bodies. So he was really confused. The part that reminds me of you is that he is still on and off with his ex. They went out for about a year I think and then stayed on and off and theres so much drama that he feels he can't ever go back to her. And now he realized that he has questions about his sexuality but he still keeps the ex around for sex and keeps hurting her because he knows he doesn't want to be with her. He says he loves her soooo much and his heart melts when he sees her and is with her but that he is not in love with her. About the snooping w/e you wanted to know you got caught its cool. The sister is a brat and dont even sweat her. About the guy though if he is questioning his sexuality your best bet is to stay away from him and move on. Give him his space to figure things out. The guy I was talking about also looks for guys and looks at guy pictures on line. He did it online because he felt comfortable there and no one judged him and he would explore his sexuality with guys on line before actually doing it in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 sound slike he's starting to become interested in guys.... does he have any ''gay'' tendencies? if he's interested in guys i would run away as far as possible! eeww thats gross...and if he's messing around and coming back to you theres a chance u can catch an std. also, he mentioned to you that he wasnt romantically attracted to you anymore?!!! thats a hint and a red flag right there... i say dump him and move on... it will avoid alot more heartbreak later down the road Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Originally posted by loosinghope He's depressed, and miserable. I think he's confused with his sexuality, and he just doesn't know what he wants. Thats the crux right there. He has issues that he has to face, which he simply cannot do as your boyfriend. It sounds to me like he's not confused - it sounds to me like he was closeted and pressured into dating you because it was 'right'. You already said that you tried to make him feel guilty, and that his family had already condemned any thought of him being gay and no doubt laid the guilt on heavy too. I also got the impression that his family pushed for your relationship harder than he did. He lied to you and hurt you because he probably didn't feel like he had any other choice. I don't imagine he did it to spite you, or that he purposefully sought out to hurt you. It doesn't excuse his behavior, but given what I've read about your situation it sounds like he chose to take the easy way out. As for the sister - her behavior is uncalled for as well. I understand that blood is thicker than water, but she should not have been dishonest and two-faced with you like that. First he tells me he loves me a lot.. just not romanticaly. I said he's lieing! How can you fall in and out of love with someone? Love comes in many forms. I'm sure he did love you: as far as he was able to, anyway. In the end, he just couldn't love you in the same way that you loved him. Link to post Share on other sites
meepmeep Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 I don't think he's confused about his sexuality. I think he knows he's gay but doesn't want to admit it. And I believe him when he says he doesn't love you romantically. He never may have truly loved you romantically, but put forth the appearance because he wanted a "normal" life. Ignore his sister, let your now-ex do whatever he wants to do with his life, and turn to your friends for support. This is a lost battle. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts