Can It All Work Out In The End?

[J.LO]

First of all, iam 16 and iam a female. I am having a hard time with this guy i like and i am hoping you guys can help me.

 

This guy i like stares at me all the time. This has been going on for over a year.

My friends tell me he likes me, and i think that too. The thing is, we both hint to eachother that we like one another. But the other thing is, we are in seperate crews, and there is alot of people that dont want him and i to be together.

The girls that used to be my friends try to get all over him, and dont want him around me at all. I tried sooo many times to forget about him, but i just cant. He trys to make me jealous too, so he will look at me and smile and go over to the other girls, if i talk to another guy. The thing is now, he really got me, cuz he went and got a g/f, and the first week he really bugged me with her, but then like a few weeks after they have been going out, him and i got to talk, and he started talking about liking people, and said to me that if i like someone i should tell them, its worth a try. And i told him that what if the guy has a g/f and he said break them up, and kept repeating the break them up. Then he also kept saying to me, you should tell them, you should, you should, you should. So, finally a week after he said that, i told him i liked him. And when he got the g/f, he didnt try to make me jealous with the other girls and he didnt try n make me jealous with the g/f either.

And when i told him i liked him, he just looked at me, and was soo shocked that i said it. The next day when i went back to school, he and i acted a little different towards eachother at first. But then we started talking again, and now we are closer, cuz we are talking more.

He defends me all the time, and i defend him. He tried to break up with his g/f and she wont let go. And the g/f is the girl that copies everything i do, its weird. She trys to dress like me, and have the same style, even hair, earrings, colour of clothing the same. She copies me all the time, and i hate it, cuz her and i do not like eachother. She evn trys to wear the same make up as me. And she seems to always want the guy i want, cuz it happened in grade 8 too. She wants everything that i want! But, the guy i like, stands in the hall with her, and they never hold hands or anything, and he trys to not hang around with her. And when he gets the chance, he comes over and stands by me, and has a huge smile on his face, and is really close to me. He doesn't do that with her. The thing is he never said he likes me back, but he did try and get rid of her. She threatens alot. So, does her friends. He satres at me all the time though, even when hes with her! and when iam sad, he is sad. I really do like him, and i really, really need help. And his g/f trys to get all over any guy i talk too. And i think she is using the guy i like, cuz she gets all over his friends, and some of his friends tell him, and he doesnt care, cuz i heard him say it, and he said it in front of me. If she trys to hang off him when iam around, he tells her to stop too.

Iam just really sick of this, cuz i like him, but i dont know what to do, and he doesnt like when i flirt with other guys. And i dont like when hes with other girls. What do i do? I cant wait for one guy forever.....can i? There is alot of people out there, but right now, i think that he is the only one, and no matter what i cant seem to forget him. And he cant forget me either. If only you saw the staring and what happens. Its crazy!

Please, if you have any advice give me some. I would really appreciate it!

Thanks!

Jennifer

[Merin]

Jennifer.. this is the thing.. he has a girlfriend.

 

IF he was into YOU then he would ditch the other girl and date you.. he is probably 16 years old as well or maybe a year older.. he isn't married to this other girl.. they don't have kids together.. so yeah.. IF he really wanted to get rid of her, trust me when I say, he would.

 

I have no doubt at all that he does flirt with you.. and I have no doubt that his friends tell you this and tell you that.. but fact remains, he already has a girlfriend.. he knows you like him.. but he isn't willing to let go of the girl he is already with.. actions speak louder than words.

 

Redirect your attention somewhere else.. if he wants to play little immature games let him play by himself.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Merin

Jennifer.. this is the thing.. he has a girlfriend.

 

IF he was into YOU then he would ditch the other girl and date you.. actions speak louder than words.

 

 

good advice

[EC]

OK guys go back to when you were in HS....it's not that simple.

 

There's "crews" and he said she said, and you can't be seen with this one because of what so and so might say....( man thank god I graduated) anyways Jennifer...

 

He thinks he is little Pimp daddy right now....He has his girl and he has you on the side and giving you little stares and winks. He thinks he's hot sh*t right now.

 

You already did what you had to do, you told him you liked him.

Like Merin said If a guy likes you he would be with you. He would have gotten rid of the other girl not just "tried" to. That girl doesn't have a chain around him, he didnt sign a contract with her. If he wanted to be with you he would be.

 

So now that he knows you like him he has the upperhand and that sucks and he still hasn't told you back so you Ignore him.

 

Stop standing at the wall where he can see you, stop walking by his class or stop being around him period. Don't talk about him to any of your friends anymore and pretend like it ain't no thang and that he doesn't phase you. If anyone asks you, you say he makes a cute couple with his girl and walk away.

Don't look to see if he's staring at you.

 

Make him think your over the whole drama. And if he asks wassup you say nothing you have a GF and you swear that I am going to be waiting around for one guy forever. And thats it.

[morrigan]

Originally posted by J.LO

And i told him that what if the guy has a g/f and he said break them up, and kept repeating the break them up.. . . . He tried to break up with his g/f and she wont let go.

 

He likes to play games (staring at you, rumor mill, trying to make you jealous.) He's a little boy who thinks he can manipulate you. Be smarter than him.

 

He could get his own butt out of the relationship if he wanted to. It isn't like she has chains wrapped around him. He'll pull the same stunts on you if you ever did end up dating him.

[J.LO]

Thanks for your help! But now the story is even more weird.

 

Ok, he finally broke up with her! And he kept talking about it loud so i could hear, and his friend even told me. The thing is all of a sudden today at school, he acted like a real jerk! And i never saw him act this way before!

He flirted with me alot, but then when we switched classes, this guy that sits in front of me kept saying oh, she likes you, and the guy told the guy i like, that i like him. I just stayed calm and just kept on doing my work. Then they both winked at eachother, and the guy gave the guy i like thumbs up. Then the guy i like started acting like a real jerk! He said that i think iam sooo cool and all that and that i talk about him behind his back. And then, you know what he said to me??? He said that he got back with her. And in another class the 2 girls i dont get a long with sat beside me, and they flirted with him and got him to talk out loud, about when he and her got back together, which was just yesterday. So, they were only not going out for 4 days!

I dont get it. So, what i did was ignored him. And when he said that other stuff, i told him i dont do that and say mean things about ppl, and think iam all cool''. Iam just not that type of person. I like to get along with everyone.

 

And also, those girls were really driving me nuts, cuz one of them kept punching me in the arm and i asked her nicly to stop, but nooooo she wouldnt listen, the teach wasnt even paying attention. Then again you get called a rat if you tell. And the other one that wasnt hitting me, kept saying'' oh shes mad, omg, and that iam bitchy and other stuff. Today was such an awlful day!

I almost cried. Thats all i wanted to do, but i got through it, but ....there is still more days. All this week.

I dont understand why ppl are like that. And he kept watching me in the hall and everywhere else. He was really trying to get my attention, but i ignored him. Then around the last class...you see he's in my class.) He realized that i was ignoring him and so he tried to suck up, like he normally does. He sweet talks you! And says all nice things.

So, then he asked me what i was doing tonight, and i said just going home like usual. His attitude changed then, cuz he went all ...sad. Then he came over to me and said he was sorry, and he said he was just joking around and that he didnt mean all the things he said. And i tried so hard to stay strong.

I told him tht he is such a suck up. He is!

Then i just ignored him. But he keeps sucking up. Well, he needs to know that sucking up doesnt always work. And iam soo sick of him doing this whole staring thing. But the part that bugs me the most is...is that after all that when i thought i really hated him...i still like him.

 

It's not right! I was always good with this kinda stuff, guys and girls. independent. I belived that i could be fine without a guy, and i still belive that, but why do i still like him, after all that he does????

PLease help me and thank you sooo much for the advice you are giving me, cuz it is helpful. Thanks!!!!!

Jennifer

[Merin]

Jennifer, this guy has zero respect for you as a friend, or as a person.

 

Why do you still like him.. because you see him as unattainable.

 

He is a little punkass who is only going to cause you problems.. and don't think for a minute he wasn't encouraging those girls to be sh*tty to you.

 

If you like playing this game and getting your feelings hurt.. then by all means continue.. If not.. then leave this idiot alone.

[Dane1965]

could not agree more what merin just wrote.

 

there is an old saying that we first know what we have lost when it is too late.

 

and i am sure he will know that..then again, its not about him, but about you. Start talking to your friends instead. Start finding something to do, which can keep you occupied instead of hanging around him. Change your patterns, not too much, but just enough to keep things simple.

 

And from now on, do NOT show your feelings to him. he will come back and ask if everyhting is fine. And you will just smile and say yes. Just talk to him like a freind and do not give comments back...

 

If you are worth it, then he doesnt know. Somebody else around might....

[J.LO]

Thanks!

The thing is now,..... he really admitted that he acted like an a**h***, and after a long time, few days, i forgave him. I didnt just give into him though, but you know what i mean. So, yea is is back with the g/f again. But today all of a sudden his friend that he talks to quite abit, said to me, do you wanna know who likes you...and i said no. and then he said actually i think you do want to know, and i was like nooo....and i said thats ok, and then he goes, well its him, and he pointed to the guy i like! Then i said i dont belive you and he said well you better because its true and if you dont belive me you go ask another guy in my class, which they both(the guy i like and the guy talking to me are friends with him.

I dont get it! The thing is i really like the guy! What am i going to do!?!?!

Iam not ready to leave him, and i know what you guys mean about how he can be a jerk.

whats a girl to do???

[Teag]

This guy is a jerk regardless if he said he was sorry or whatever. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was in high school, but I was actually dating the guy. But almost the exact same thing happened with the girls saying ****ty things to me right in front of him. He would cheat on me & we'd break up & then get back together & he would cheat on me again & this went on for about a year before I got smart & started ignoring him. I was his safe haven I guess you could say. They like to play games & he may like you but if his "friends" or other "snotty" people he may hang out with don't approve then his reputation is more important. Thats all there is to it & it will stay like that. I would keep ignoring him & when he decides he wants to break up with the other girl & BEGG for you then I would THINK obout it, don't let him know how much you like him, it just boost their egos. High school guys are a**holes.