jnel921 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I can't believe a year has gone by since D-Day. The time has gone by so fast. After a year, I can say... that my WH has done everything possible to help improve our marriage. Its been one of the best years we've had in our marriage. We are closer and the trust is growing. We often talk about what happened with less tears. It means so much. I can honestly say I've found a way to fall in love with him again and I do love him.... but I just haven't in me to say it to his face...not yet. Still taking baby steps and still not ready to let my guard completely down. Thank you to all of the LS family who have posted and given so much helpful advice over this time. I am grateful that this site is here. So to those who have decided to stay... just know it can and does get better. 14 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I am glad that things are looking up. I hope your relationship continues to grow and become stronger. Sending positive thoughts your way 2 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I'm happy for you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 That's the most positive one-year antiversary post I've seen. Congrats Jnle. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Journee Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Guess there were some deletions. Very happy for you all. Glad to see that it can be done so well. I envy that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Delighted to read this jnel! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 What are some of the best things that H has done to make things better? Link to post Share on other sites
yellowmaverick Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 and I do love him.... but I just haven't in me to say it to his face... I am sure that he knows this through your actions. Glad to hear that you two are doing well! Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Posts like this are so important for couples wanting to have hope in reconciliation. And particularly this poster, who has said , asked, and answered so many of the thoughts and questions every BS has after DDay. I Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Why dont we see men creating these kinds of threads? Funny how women always stay with cheaters and men usually walk away. There are some dedicated men on this forum that tried everything they could to stay in their marriages and eventually left because their WW wasn't putting in the effort and/or was a total bitch (BetrayedH and ChooseTruth come to mind). There are many others that are in the process of R and/or figuring out where to go. I can think of at least one who is more or less completely reconciled (Owl). So it varies, but some of the men have more patience than a saint, certainly more than the WW deserves! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Jnel, I'm so glad you have made it so far! I hope things continue to progress and your marriage keeps getting stronger! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jnel921 Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Why dont we see men creating these kinds of threads? Funny how women always stay with cheaters and men usually walk away. I would have liked to see that too.. I think for some BHs its more about the ego getting in the way of a successful R if not then its an unremorseful WW. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jnel921 Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 Thanks All... It is a work in progress. It's not perfect, we have our moments, but like I said earlier with fewer tears and at the end of the day there is a genuine love and appreciation for each other here. I never thought a year later I could talk or think about his A without getting emotional, but I am ok. We have normal fights now where I don't incorporate the past, which is what I am sure most of us have done or still do. It just never helped the real reasons for our arguments. So in that aspect I feel we have improved our communication greatly. R does take two willing people or will never work. If you have that you can have it all... that's the goal. I will let you all know when we reach it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jnel921 Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 What are some of the best things that H has done to make things better? Harry, My H now is more open about everything. He makes it a point to tell me how much he loves me. He apologizes to me when he ever catches me in a quiet moment where he believes I may be thinking about the past. He has also sent me poetry everyday since D-Day.He makes time to go on date nights and we have had more frequent sex which was an issue in the past. We talk and laugh more. We love spending time together and doing things. We also share a FB page and he will write loving posts about me and about us. All of my friends and family have noticed this attention. Like experiencethedivine mentioned there are remarks and envy from those people wondering how is it that we are so in love and happy. When he looks into my eyes I can see and feel the remorse. He tells me how he wishes he could erase it all away and that he knows he has to live with how he hurt me, but his goal is to be a better husband and father. He knows that he wants to spend whatever time he has on this earth with me. I believe him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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