7 months on.....

[costablanca]

well its been almost seven months since my ex boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me. his reasons being that for him, the sexual spark had gone. hes spanish. since the split i returned to the uk.

there has been months of heartbreaking no contact, months of blissful contact, an almost get back together which he pulled out of at the last minute, lots of tears, a rebound relationship on his part, more tears and a great deal of honesty on both sides, confusing mixed feelings, it goes on and on.

 

endless nights talking, explaining, understanding, hugging, kissing, crying.

 

are we codependant? are we in love or do we just love to much? are we soulmates or are we just to afraid to let go? are we in love or just in love with the idea of being in love? are we such a perfect match that we cant accept it didnt work? is it that it wasnt supposed to be like this? what can we do? how can we move on?

 

we spoke and spent time together for what i imagine will be the last time about two weeks ago. i was staying at a friends apartment. there to sort out a few bits.

we parted on good terms, with me asking for no contact again (what more can i do), and him promising. both of us wishing deeply for the other to come up with the miracle solution to this dreadfully soul wrenching situation.

 

as i sat at the airport holding back the tears, cluching my engagement ring and apartment keys that he wanted me to take with me to england, i recieved the "LAST TEXT"......

 

i understand you reasons for asking for no contact, but because i love you so madly, i cant accept losing you forever. and i have my doubts about what im searching for. i think its just a fantasy of something perfect that just doesnt exist. i know i wont find anything better than what we have, but something changed. i dont know how or why. all i ask is that one day, one way or another, life gives me the chance to being close to you, and staying close to you, sharing some sort of future because i will never be completley happy unless you are there. i dream of the day when we dance together like before.(we loved to dance). i truly love you tracy, please dont ever forget that. quino. xxx.

 

so here we are again. stuck in a groove, desparate for contact but both of us not talking, trying to go forward but at the same time totally lost without each other.

 

me, waking teary eyed and hurting, struggling to get through each day without him, fighting the need i have to be by his side, smoking like a crazy woman, not dancing, every evening pouring myself one too many gin and tonics enabling this thinking machine that ive become to close down for a while, ready for the routine to begin again tommorow.

 

him, going to work, returning to the apartment, surrounding himself with "us" (my dressing gown still hangs by his on the back of the bathroom door). rather than doing everything he wanted to do with his new found freedom, sitting in our home every evening, cuddling rocco our bulldog, not dancing, just smoking his pot until he slips into a coma and is able to swith off for a few hours till morning, only to wake up the next morning to the painful reality of what is his life.

 

so i sit here, tears rolling, turning my engraved diamond ring round and around my finger, noticing how its not perfectly cicular anymore due to 7 years of wear.

carrying this sadness, christmas and new year looming, wishing i could sleep right through it. wondering when the day will come when i will be happy again, being forced into singledom. and one day soon, hopefully begin the next stage of "US".....what ever that may be.

 

thanx for reading. god bless you all. be strong. do what ever it takes.

tracy. xx

[alphamale]

Originally posted by costablanca

i recieved the "LAST TEXT"......

 

i understand you reasons for asking for no contact, but because i love you so madly, i cant accept losing you forever. and i have my doubts about what im searching for. i think its just a fantasy of something perfect that just doesnt exist. i know i wont find anything better than what we have, but something changed. i dont know how or why. all i ask is that one day, one way or another, life gives me the chance to being close to you, and staying close to you, sharing some sort of future because i will never be completley happy unless you are there. i dream of the day when we dance together like before.(we loved to dance). i truly love you tracy, please dont ever forget that. quino. xxx.

 

 

 

Hmmm....costablanca, according to the above it sounds like this dude has been stringing you along for 7+ years. If this is what he is telling you (the above) he is full of shyt and contradicting himself in a big way.

 

My advice is you stay away from this guy but most likely that will be impossible for you.

[moon]

Seriously sometimes I am happy my ex ran off with another women and dumped me, instead of carrying on like your ex is doing (OP).....talking about one day in the future. Ahh....it must be giving you a headache.

 

My ex and I were on and off for four years. There was never another woman that came between us until a few months ago when he broke up with.....at that time he told me he didn't love me anymore and then took up with the floosy six or seven days later. But one thing I can say about it is it got him off my tail.

 

Your man sounds like he's still carrying a torch, but isn't man enough to have you. I'd cut the cord. When he does grow a backbone maybe he'll come back with out all the gibberish and mind f*cking.

 

I actually read some of your posts from before. And your man sounds like a captial L LOSER (please correct me if I am wrong---because I don't want to be overly judgemental). He can't make up his mind one way or another (my ex used to do this to me a bit sometimes). He'll string you along until your hair turns gray and he can't think of any other reasons than to toss you aside.

 

I think there are stages in some people's lives when they just sort of change. Your ex may just be going through something right now.....don't know. Could be mid life crisis---whatever. But it seems that you'll have to be the strong one and keep firm. I wouldn't go back with him until he's able to offer you the type of relationship YOU want. He sounds pretty wishy washy.

 

On the up side....he is saying he's madly in love with you. So no contact will probably hurt him. See if he changes for you. Maybe play a little hard to get and see if he breaks. Who knows? Good luck.