broke up twise, he broke up with me, he wants me back again

[XNemesisX]

OMG

 

Girl, he is bad news. BAD BAD BAD news. Not that I am the best person to listen to, as I am also drawn to somewhat of a bad boy, but he's not only bad - he is a bonafide LOSER. Hate to say it

 

Then again, I think you already know it!

 

Sounds like he has some major problems. And is pretty immature. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you all?

 

I think you already know the answer here...RUN!!!!!!!!!

 

Going abroad wouldn't be a bad idea at all. I don't think it is necessarily running from your problems. It could help you feel refreshed and get a new perspective on your life. Maybe see there is so much more out there in this world. I myself, have never studied abroad or really been anywhere outside of the eastern part of the United States. I'm also interested in maybe trying to travel or possibly even move after I grad in May. My friend is a model in NYC and I may consider that as an option possibly. Even though I will get my psychology degree in May, I have always been interested in maybe doing makeup art. I might look into that actually...

 

I was just talking to her tonight about all of this, and she was telling me how NYC let her see there was so much more out there! I think it really would be good for me to get out of Ky...see the world a bit. I have been to NYC twice and I LOVED it.. just didn't think it would be possible because of the expense. But who knows, maybe I can live in a box up there somewhere

 

But anyway, sounds like this guy is nothing but trouble. I would steer clear of him. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and are going somewhere in life. No wonder he would be frantic to attach himself back to you! My ex-ex was this type that you are describing, sweet though. He was a really nice guy but he was a major LOSER. He smoked pot, cigs (not that I can say a whole lot though b/c I smoke unfortunately), he drank, did all kinds of drugs, mostly oxycotin. Didn't work. Flunked out of school Had to move back in with his parents. Wouldn't get off his arse and do anything. Mooched off of me. Ugh. It got old.

 

You will get over this in time. I know and understand that your head is telling you one thing, but your heart is saying another. Your heart will heal in time though, and one day you will be thinking "WHAT WAS I THINKING WITH THAT GUY - HE'S SUCH A LOSER!"

 

At the time I was with my ex-ex I thought I was so in love that I overlooked a lot of things. But I think you have already realized you are better off without him.

 

Taking some time off of dating sounds like a good choice. Gives you time to heal from your ex and figure out what you really want in life, all that good stuff. You will meet someone so much better than him. You know deep down that you would never want to marry someone like that and have kids. You would probably be the one working and him too stoned or drunk to do anything. You will have to take care of everything, pay all the bills, with probably no help from him because he is too irresponsible to be a real adult. I have noticed that guys of this sort rarely change a whole lot. I'm sure it is possible, but I don't see it happening much.

 

You deserve so much better than that. And you know it!

 

These feelings will pass in time, trust me. You will be glad you didn't get back with him in hindsight. You sound like you are really young too, so you have so much more living to do! I am almost 22 myself, and while for a bit I thought that my life was over because of this last breakup, I now see that it so isn't! There is more time for me to explore things, learn about life. All the rest will come in time, I hope. If not, well I have my cats!

 

Keep us updated...and good luck! Be strong!!

[an'ka]

Nemesis, what would I do without you? You are such a support for me, wow!

I am actually from NY, so if you ever here if you need some new friends... it sounds like we are a lot alike Maybe I'll run away from home and we'll become roommates ok, just kidding, don't worry

 

Oh, and by the way, I'm psychology major also and premed at the same time... Maybe that's a reason for two of us trying to overanalyze everything And I have a cat, lol

 

 

Anyway, I'm almost 21 and he just turned 20, he is 6 months younger than me.

Maybe in my last post I focused too much on the bad stuff. It's a little unfair.

 

He does have a good side to him; otherwise I wouldn't even look his way. He is a really sweet, caring, loving, romantic, kind, spiritual, sensual guy. When we started going out up until I started taking him for granted he treated me like a queen. He brought me flowers every monthly anniversary, gave me gifts out of the blue, wrote me cards filled with great, loving words, wrote me poems, surprised me on Valentine's day and my birthday. He brought me breakfast in bed those times that we would be somewhere together overnight. He wouldn't stop talking about me to everyone, and showing my pictures; people even got annoyed . He really loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

 

I remember that maybe after a year of going out he just started smoking more and I was talking to him about it. I was sitting on a couch and he was on the floor on his knees in front of me. He hugged me so tight and told me that he is so afraid that he's not gonna become someone who I deserve. He said that he would do ANYTHING in order for me to be next to him for the rest of his life.

 

He was just great. That all made me stick to him for 3 years even though he did have those bad things attached to him also. I don't know what would happen if I would treat him right all the way from the beginning.

 

He warned me by saying that it's hard for him not to get feedback from me and that if I won't start treating him right he'll change. He told me that 1000 times, but I don't know what I was thinking.

 

Well, he changed. And I don't know if it's ever possible that he'll be the same loving and caring guy again.

Maybe inside I still have a hope that one day I'll experience this same unconditional love from him again and that's why I'm holding on to this dream, who knows?

 

 

Tonight, I just can't sleep! I'm so excited for some reason! I feel like I'm about to make a great change in my life and in myself.

 

I would probably break up with my current boyfriend right now, but I got myself into a planned trip with friends and him to Las Vegas in the beginning of January, and I don't want to ruin everyone's plans by breaking up with him right now.( we already bought tickets and everything) It's not like I don't like him, I do, very much, he is a great guy, I just feel like it's better for me to be single right now, maybe in some time I would try it with him again, who knows. I hope he'll understand me. (he is 8 years older than me) But I guess, I'll have to wait till the trip is over and see how everything goes.

 

About my ex: for now he's not contacting me, if he won't, I'll just make my conclusions and move on, if he will I'll take it from there. I just can't believe he could give up so easily. If he did give up then I have nothing to worry about. If he's not fighting for me, he's definitely not worth all this headache.

 

Thank you again for your help and support

I'll keep you updated

I'm glad that you are in good spirits right now! It's contagious! Be like that!!!

[XNemesisX]

An'ka,

 

That is so good to hear that you are feeling better, and excited about your future~!

 

Actually, that would be cool to know someone up in NY! Be glad you get to live up there and not here in this other realm of Hades

 

You will have to move out and we go hit the high life and forget all about our exes and leave their messed up butts in the dust!

 

I know exactly how you feel. Even the biggest of jerks can be SO sweet sometimes. That is what keeps us around for more. I wish that I could see that side of my ex again too. (this last one). He would also do the same thing with me. Show my pictures to people, write me sweet notes, bring me breakfast in bed....gawd what I wouldn't do to go back to that time....

 

About my ex: for now he's not contacting me, if he won't, I'll just make my conclusions and move on, if he will I'll take it from there. I just can't believe he could give up so easily. If he did give up then I have nothing to worry about. If he's not fighting for me, he's definitely not worth all this headache.

 

DITTO!!! That is how I feel as well. I think love is worth fighting for, but if they don't see it that way then screw 'em that's what I say! I feel that same exact way about my most current ex. It baffles me how he could just throw the towel in so easy, and not even try to fight for it. He has in the past...but obviously not now. They aren't worth the ulcers if they aren't willing to put forth some freakin effort already!

 

We do sound a lot alike. Lol with both of us having psych majors, you would think we would know more about what to do in these situations. I actually just had an interview for a job at a mental hospital here this past Wednesday. One of my job duties will be to conduct group therapy sessions for short term patients. I think it is almost kind of funny because sometimes I think I am the one who needs help!

 

Definitely keep us updated! I am glad you are feeling excited about what life can have in store for you! Let's stay strong!

[an'ka]

Nemesis,

 

Right now I'm sitting here and laughing after reading your post. It's so funny!

What you said is so true! I wanted to become a psychiatrist before, but after all these days of madness, depression, and confusion I thought that I needed a psychiatrist myself!

 

It's also ironic how you are saying that I'm lucky to live in NY when at the same time I'm thinking that I need to get out of here for a while.

 

I think that it doesn't really matter where we live, we could find both problems and pleasures wherever it is.

 

I'm trying to figure out how is it possible to capture those feelings when we are feeling strong in order to be able to feel like that anytime we start feeling down. There are moments when you just feel like: "ahh, I wish I could feel like that all the time", but then it suddenly goes away and you are depressed again.

 

Is it hormones? Can we be injected with a portion of a "Strong and Happy" hormone anytime we are feeling down?

 

Ok, it's just my wild imagination

I'm taking a big physics final tomorrow, so I better go and study now. Wish me luck

 

Take care of yourself

[an'ka]

Just now, when I was opening my email, it was a first time for a while when I didn't expect to get anything from my ex. Other times I was hoping to see something from him.

This time I'm opening my email hoping to see an email from someone else, and here it is - an email from my ex. (how ironic)

 

But, it's not as interesting as I thought it would be.

He just wrote me (at 5 am) that he just spent 2 hours writing me a reply to that important email of mine and the reply got erased. He wrote that he's very pissed off, cause he thought that it was a really good reply. But he also said that maybe that's G-d's plan for him not to be able to reply that night. He wished me luck on my finals and that was it.

 

When I started writing him a reply to that, the only things that I could think of were very cynical. Things like: Don't blame everything on G-d, it's your fault that you didn't save the draft; Maybe it's G-d's way of showing you that you should work harder on this situation, and 2 hours is not enough (I spent 2 weeks on writing that email) plus as I found out yesterday I failed an exam which I couldn't study for because of him.

 

I don't think it's a good idea for me to reply like that, so until I'll be able to reply with something better, I won't reply at all.

 

Just wanted to share my emotions.

Honestly, I can't wait to read that reply of his.

[XNemesisX]

Dang...that SUX that the email got deleted...

 

LOL to a guy an email that takes longer than 5 minutes to write is a long time for them!

 

That is good that he is trying to make contact...very good sign.

 

Do you still want to get back with him?

 

I did get my final grades today and I BARELY passed one of my classes because my ex has made it so hard for me to focus.

So I definitely know the feeling!

 

I know that I am saying you should probably kick him to the curb but I know it is so easier said than done and I do think that a real love is hard to find..so if it can be salvaged I think it should! I will support you 100% either way you go! I know a lot of my friends have not supported me with wanting to get back together with my ex...and really no one understand the dynamics of the relationship better than you do! and sometimes love is more important....ok so I'm a hopeless romantic

 

I can't wait to hear what the email said...I bet the suspense is killing you! Heck, its killing me!!

 

Definitely keep us posted...

 

Oh I did talk to the ex again tonight...he is now saying that he would want to give me another chance if I got more into church.....

 

I may pm you here in a bit about it, or tomorrow morning..I am still taking too many sleeping pills!

 

Talk to you soon..and good luck!

[an'ka]

Lol, honestly it's so funny how everything works. I can just imagine his face after him sitting there for two hours and pc screen went blank. I know it's cruel to think this way, but...

Now there is a reason for him to think more about all of this

 

I really am not sure anymore if I'd get back with him, definately not now.

 

I really need to spend some time being single and learning more about who I am when I'm not in a relationship. I've been in relationships since 16, and this summer was basically the longest time I've ever been single. I think sometimes it could be a very good experience being on your own, learning to be independent, learning to be able to rely on yourself. Plus I'm planning to go abroad and I don't think anyone will want to be in a long distance relationship, I really don't believe in those.

 

But I really can't wait to see what he writes to me. I wish he wouldn't write this little email of his today, I almost felt better already.

 

I guess my further actions depend on what he tells me. Some of my feelings really got burned out during the past month. I started out missing him soooooo bad, wanting to be with him soooooooo much, but after all that headache he put me through and all that thinking I feel a little numb. Maybe it's also because we didn't really talk much during this month and didn't see each other. I don't know.

 

 

I'll let you know as soon as I'll get that email. Hopefully it will be soon. It would be really not nice of him to keep me waiting for too much longer now.

 

oh, it's so late, I better get to bed now

night

[an'ka]

I was sitting here and studying for my last two finals, when I got a phone call from my ex.

We talked a little bit about our lives, this and that. He asked me if I got his email where he talked about his other email getting erased. He sounded friendly this time. Asked me what I was doing for new years. Then when I asked him he started saying how many different plans he has and he doesn't know which one to choose. Also he was telling me how he will probably be traveling all over the world with his friends over the winter break: Amsterdam, Switzerland, Florida, Israel. Blah, blah, blah

 

He was telling me about how much effort it took for him to write that email that got erased. He wouldsn't shut up about it. He spent the whole 2 HOURS!!! Wow, such a hero!!!

 

Anyway, he didn't want to sit down and write another email. (he really doesn't like emails and instant messangers), so he was asking if we could instead talk about these things after I'm done with my finals. Wow, so nice of him to take into consideration that I have to study. (I know I'm very bitter and sarcastic about it).

 

I was kind of making fun of him for not wanting to spend more time on another email, but I said that it's fine and we'll talk after my 2 finals, which are tomorrow.

 

Also, another thing that came up while we were talking was that night when I was supposed to go to a party and he was there. He told me that he was really drunk; him and his friends brought a bottle of vodka with them.

 

When I was listening, I really felt disgusted. This part of him didn't change for sure and it doesn't seem like he even realizes that he needs to change it in order to get a chance with me.

 

Ok, will see what he will tell me.

That's all for now