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Been on a bit of a downer lately and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I'm in a job where you have 'firm colleagues' instead of friends, and it's a line of work where you can't exactly open up to people or express emotions for fear of having labels attached to you. I'm sure everyone else there feels the same, and so this entire façade should by all rights come crashing down, but that's another story.

 

It's just that, at the end of the day, I'm by myself and I have no one to talk to. I'm quite a sensitive person and I've spent most of my life bottling everything up. I know that was a mistake now. The problem is, counselling isn't what I'm after either because it's friendship I need, not medical help. I'm in a situation where it's very difficult to make new friends and my own friends in my hometown and elsewhere are all settled down and rarely available for a meet-up. It's always me making the effort to try to do something, and it's hardly ever reciprocated. I don't have any family to turn to either, but again that's another story and it isn't something I'm personally able to change.

 

Any good tips to beat feeling lonely?

 

I've started writing a journal, I've been doing creative things and I took up an old hobby again. All pretty standard stuff, really. The sort of advice you give everyone. And it's been a good help too because I find I forget about all of my problems when I keep myself busy.

 

The emotions come out at night. I find it difficult to shut my mind off and, for lack of a better way of putting it, I'm just so damn lonely. I'm sick of being by myself. I'm sick of not having a group of people to hang around with, let alone be able to call up regularly. I'm also sick of not having anyone out there in the world who wants to be anything other than a friend. I just wish I could get through one day and one night with a smile on my face. It's been so long since I've been able to do that.

 

What can I do to kick these feelings when they come up?

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I know what you mean. You reach a certain age and a switch flips: the majority of your friends are married and/or have kids, and couples flock to couples. Now, if I had the time and/or the money, I would gladly just go out to a bar, order a manhattan, and see who I ran into. That is my suggestion for you. There is no shame in enjoying your own company in public. The people watching is quality, and depending on the type of bar you go to, you can be very likely to run into people in the same situation as you.

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Eternal Sunshine
I know what you mean. You reach a certain age and a switch flips: the majority of your friends are married and/or have kids, and couples flock to couples. Now, if I had the time and/or the money, I would gladly just go out to a bar, order a manhattan, and see who I ran into. That is my suggestion for you. There is no shame in enjoying your own company in public. The people watching is quality, and depending on the type of bar you go to, you can be very likely to run into people in the same situation as you.

 

Yep I am there too. Minus the going to the bars alone part. So I stay home for the most part. Have been feeling this low grade depression for a while now :(

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I'm sorry you're down. :( I've definitely been there too. My suggestion: get involved in some sort of volunteer program for something you're interested. It might sound a little cheesy, but I think it's a really fulfilling way to pass a few hours each month/week, and it helps keep everything in perspective.

 

Also, go to church! Lots of people there. ;)

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Yep I am there too. Minus the going to the bars alone part. So I stay home for the most part. Have been feeling this low grade depression for a while now :(

 

You're a gorgeous night-owl who loves Breaking Bad. I'm sorry that men on Pluto are idiots and there is an ocean between us. We could eat

and drink Schraderbrau.
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Eternal Sunshine
You're a gorgeous night-owl who loves Breaking Bad. I'm sorry that men on Pluto are idiots and there is an ocean between us. We could eat
and drink Schraderbrau.

 

:love: sounds like my perfect night.

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