Author LilGirlandOW Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 He was staying for the kids, after sitting them down and they took the news very well he knows it the best decision for the kids and they're a priority in every move he's making so far (if that makes sense). Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 So he was staying for the kids and nw hes leaving for the kids. Maybe its me who doesnt understand. Its neither here nor there now, but does this man know his head from his butt? I actually understand this completely. I "stayed for the kids" for years b/c I wasn't sure if leaving or staying was the best thing. Two parents unhappy together or apart (happy or unhappy, wasn't sure which it would be, of course). Finally, I decided that leaving was the best thing for them b/c the dysfunction was not good for them, nor seeing the patterns that they did. I didn't want them thinking ours was a normal relationship to mirror. Hope this explains a bit how this is possible. (Not sure if that's how it is for Lil's MM, but that's my version of staying for the kids and then leaving for the kids.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 He was staying for the kids, but he hasn't left for the kids. This separation wasn't his idea, I think that's fairly obvious from the wife's actions. He's going along with it, and I'm sure is happy about it. But if it was down to him, he'd still be in the marital home. A 3am breakup is not a mutual, reasoned thing. It's one person saying "enough, I'm done" and judging by the lack of drama from the wife, it's clearly her that's said it. Which to be honest is probably the best outcome. I know that many OW would like to think that she was chosen by the MM rather than just getting him because the wife threw him out, but at least this way he hasn't got to deal with guilt, tears, reconciliation attempts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 Actually both he and her are drama free people for the most part, as we all have our slips. I also stayed married much too long for the kids sake, then once the band aid was ripped off I realized that the seperation was what is best for the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Indeed, people do do that. A mutual, reasoned decision. But not at 3am. She's behind this, no doubt about it. But as long as the outcome is the same - in that he's with you - I wouldn't concern yourself too much (unless she changes her mind, which sounds unlikely) Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 What would these actions include? From my own experience: Verifiable legal actions to dissolve the M Separating property and domiciles Public activities with new partner Interaction with friends and family as a couple Looking back on the couples who've moved on or gotten together via affair beginnings, it was the ones who cared less about what other people thought and focused in on their own priorities who were the most successful long-term. It's no surprise they were also successful in other areas of life, as similar focusing and prioritization of self over others is, along with social status, what portends to those successes as well. There's no doubt IME that being socially popular and well-liked lubricates the action rails to the next relationship being accepted. So, if one's partner is those things and shows clear actions of moving on with their affair partner, then IMO the odds are high they will. What comes after that is unknown. IME, it's been a mixed bag. Some stay together, some split up. That's life. Link to post Share on other sites
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