Who do women have sex with while they make the new guy wait

[Mrlonelyone]

Women choose boyfriends and husbands for social and financial benefits. They choose who to have sex with using their lady parts. The two influences don't always match.

[InnocentMan]

Who dates a woman for 90 days without any action? Sounds gay.

[miss_jaclynrae]

For starters, I don't know anyone with a set days rule. I do know women who prefer to wait though, and I can tell you right now, more times than not, they are NOT sleeping with anyone else.

 

 

They merely are waiting until they feel more comfortable with doing something intimate with the man. Heck, if I had waited with a few men, I probably would have wasted a ton of time. Why? Because quite a few had no problem disappearing once they got laid.

 

 

The point is, sometimes a woman wants to wait, because it gives them a sense of security if the man is willing to wait too. I know that when I first met my mister I told him I didn't want to rush things physically... because I just wanted things to be different this time. I didn't want to do what I always did. I pretty much told him I usually put out too fast, and I want something real so I probably won't put out as soon.

 

 

 

He stuck around, and after a few days I put out anyways.

It is funny how he still stuck around.

I don't think the waiting rule works, but I respect a woman's choice to, and I think men need to think of it as a GOOD thing, rather than thinking with your penises and getting frustrated.

[lollipopspot]

And thats the reason why many men here hate women. Not including me. I hate things they do. The women today are very problematic. If it wasnt for the fact that we me have urges And want to phug every girl we see, women would be screwed. Not literally.

 

No wonder men dont want to commit. You women, screwed it up.

 

I have noticed that a number of men here hate women. Thank you for being clear about that.

 

I personally think that males and females are more alike than different, and am very wary about people who hate and prejudge an entire gender.

[carhill]

I'm not arguing that fact. I'm agreeing with it. The whole premise of the original question was to get a list of the guys. For your example, it was her boss and you. How did she meet you, or chose you to fill in her gap. (lol pun intended)

In that anecdote, I was a vendor and we met at her work. Turned out (as she related to me a couple decades later) that my presence was functioning as a shield as she was transitioning that particular lover out. Ultimately, she disappeared without comment upon getting pregnant and my interactions with her son as an adult indicate he's definitely her exH's son, so not an affair baby. She was, by her own admission, a serial MW, so perhaps at the extreme edge of what would be considered 'normal' behavior for a woman 'making a new guy wait'.

 

I have other anecdotes but, without verifiable confirmation, like direct statements from the person or irrefutable evidence, anything I'd share would be pure speculation. Good luck.

[bubbaganoosh]

For the women that have the 90+ day waiting period before allowing a guy to have sex. Who do you see on the side while he is in probabtion?

 

The other guy. On the other hand (no pun intended) who are you having sex with while waiting for her?

[emva07]

i think if a guy really likes you he'll like you whether you waited or not.

[joystickd]

The other guy. On the other hand (no pun intended) who are you having sex with while waiting for her?

If he is cool with waiting then the reality is he is more than likely having sex with someone. That's really the only way a guy will not get frustrated with waiting. If a man likes you he likes you and the thing is if he is just there for sex then he can play the role and be this guy that will wait until he gets what he wants. I know women hate to believe that but it does happen. There is truly nothing gained by waiting

[Eggplant]

OP, the question almost seems as though it's designed to provoke. You're calling the women who want to wait hypocritical. Some may be. Has that been your experience?

[Kofybean]

OP, the question almost seems as though it's designed to provoke. You're calling the women who want to wait hypocritical. Some may be. Has that been your experience?

 

I don't see what my experience has to do with the validity of the question. Are women so above reproach their behavior can't be questioned?

[Kofybean]

i think if a guy really likes you he'll like you whether you waited or not.

 

So this strategy implies a man will say, "wow, this girl I've been dating can go (months,years) without desiring to even touch me in an intimate way. That's exactly the kind of long term relationship I value the most."

 

You are also saying a guy must like a girl on the virtue of nothing. That doesn't make any sense. Do you like a guy whether he showers or not, has a job or not, has kids or not. All rhetorical questions, but makes even less sense then saying a guy likes a girl whether she is androgynous or not.

[RedRobin]

I'd say that most of my experiences after divorce are of men who are juggling multiple women and sleeping with them while they also try to sleep with me.

 

I don't have a 90 day 'rule', but I find it takes a good 2-3 months to see whether someone is who they say they are. I'm not interested in doing the sex first, ask questions later approach since I want to protect MY ability to fully express myself and maintain my joy and trust in sex and sharing. This doesn't happen with strangers.

 

My experience with people who have a predatory, transactional, and emotionally stunted experience with sex (mostly as an observer, but at least once as a relationship)... is that they don't really bond through sex. Ever. I myself have pondered turning to a lifestyle of casual sex or a FWB, because, yea, I have needs... but the possibility of turning myself into someone who can't bond through sex anymore (or does with increasingly more difficulty) is just too disturbing.

 

It's why I've decided not to date men who have a recent history of casual sex or embrace the concept of 'FWB'. I dumped a guy because he called someone he dated for three years a FWB. My thought was... if it were that emotionally barren, why would you keep having sex with her?? How would I know you wouldn't do that to me??

 

Long story short... no, I'm not having sex with other men while I'm getting to know a man. If he is, that would be a reason for me to stop seeing him once I found out. Our values aren't compatible.

 

That said, I do understand men's concerns about getting used as an emotional prop or as a cash cow. I've always offered to pay my way my entire life. I also have been 'used' as an emotional prop in the past. But I'm quite keen now on what 'using' behavior looks like... from either gender. I don't tolerate it.

[man_in_the_box]

Can her bf get some on the side during the 90 day period?

[phineas]

I have noticed that a number of men here hate women. Thank you for being clear about that.

 

I personally think that males and females are more alike than different, and am very wary about people who hate and prejudge an entire gender.

 

and a number of women here hate men.

Welcome to LS where all women lead men on for attention & their money & all men just use women for sex.

 

If you haven't noticed there are a lot of polarized people who have serious issues with the opposite gender.

 

They do not represent the majority of people in the real world so if you walk away viewing the opposite gender the way some people here portray them on a whole then there is a good chance you have issues yourself to address.

[lollipopspot]

I'm not interested in doing the sex first, ask questions later approach since I want to protect MY ability to fully express myself and maintain my joy and trust in sex and sharing. This doesn't happen with strangers.

 

My experience with people who have a predatory, transactional, and emotionally stunted experience with sex (mostly as an observer, but at least once as a relationship)... is that they don't really bond through sex.

 

That's a very good point. I think a lot of people become devastated after a short relationship ends because they were sexual and bonded too soon - before they knew the other person wasn't really that into them. For most women, and I'm sure at least some men (despite the stereotype), sex means a lot more than just a physical act.

Edited October 20, 2013 by lollipopspot

[Phoe]

The shortest time I've made a guy wait is about 6 weeks.

 

I haven't been with many men, haven't dated many men, and don't PLAN on being with many men.

 

 

I don't sleep with guys just for kicks. If I am single (which I always am), and have needs, I masturbate.

 

 

I have a high sex drive though. I would happily have sex every day if I had a boyfriend.

[Kofybean]

That's a very good point. I think a lot of people become devastated after a short relationship ends because they were sexual and bonded too soon - before they knew the other person wasn't really that into them. For most women, and I'm sure at least some men (despite the stereotype), sex means a lot more than just a physical act.

 

Just to be clear, are you implying relationship do not devastate people? but sex does?

[Kofybean]

...I have a high sex drive though. I would happily have sex every day if I had a boyfriend.

 

Raise of hands who has ever heard this joke before. Even my ex wife said this prior to engagement.

 

I'm happy you know your personal boundaries. If you are truly the shining example of self denial then I applaud it, and accept my question can learn nothing from your behavior.

[Phoe]

Raise of hands who has ever heard this joke before. Even my ex wife said this prior to engagement.

 

I'm happy you know your personal boundaries. If you are truly the shining example of self denial then I applaud it, and accept my question can learn nothing from your behavior.

 

Sorry, every boyfriend I've had could not keep up with me. Just the way it is.

 

 

I think you have a lot to learn about women and people in general.

[lollipopspot]

Just to be clear, are you implying relationship do not devastate people? but sex does?

 

Not sure what you mean. I think that sometimes people feel that the relationship was more than it was, that someone felt more about them than they did, because they had sex early, and one partner experiences sex as a bonding experience more than the other does. Believing you have a close and bonded relationship, and then having it end shortly because the other person doesn't feel that way, can be devastating to people. Sex for many is not just a physical act (like the dude here who goes to prostitutes), but a way to bond with someone.

[Kofybean]

Not sure what you mean. I think that sometimes people feel that the relationship was more than it was, that someone felt more about them than they did, because they had sex early, and one partner experiences sex as a bonding experience more than the other does. Believing you have a close and bonded relationship, and then having it end shortly because the other person doesn't feel that way, can be devastating to people. Sex for many is not just a physical act (like the dude here who goes to prostitutes), but a way to bond with someone.

 

The funny thing about people mentioning prostitutes is they only mention one gender at a time. That doesn't make sense to me. You could easily said "sex for many is not just a physical act (like the girl here who is a prostitute)" which might make more sense since most prostitutes are, in fact, women. And I doubt these women are bonding with so many men. Or mentioned the act itself without focusing on any gender.

 

I get you don't understand the question. You named bad results that can happen, not strictly from sex, but from the misinterpretation of its meaning. Shall we go with that?

 

The question I'm asking is "which does more damage?" a failed long term relationship, or the misinterpretation of a sex act?

 

If you concede that they both can damage people harshly, then why is one (ltr) used as a gatekeeper for sex?

[Kofybean]

Sorry, every boyfriend I've had could not keep up with me. Just the way it is.

 

 

I think you have a lot to learn about women and people in general.

 

Wild guess... you never married any of those bf's?

[lollipopspot]

The funny thing about people mentioning prostitutes is they only mention one gender at a time. That doesn't make sense to me. You could easily said "sex for many is not just a physical act (like the girl here who is a prostitute)" which might make more sense since most prostitutes are, in fact, women. And I doubt these women are bonding with so many men.

 

Prostitution is fun for the johns - he's paying for the experience, after all - often not fun or freely chosen for the prostitute. So I'm not going to include the experience of the prostitute in this. In my experience most women would not be doing it if they felt they had another good option (I didn't say all, I said most).

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

and a number of women here hate men.

Welcome to LS where all women lead men on for attention & their money & all men just use women for sex.

 

If you haven't noticed there are a lot of polarized people who have serious issues with the opposite gender.

 

They do not represent the majority of people in the real world so if you walk away viewing the opposite gender the way some people here portray them on a whole then there is a good chance you have issues yourself to address.

 

I actually disagree with this.

 

I'm a very friendly guy IRL and have a significant amount of both male and female friends (and have had many others in the past) from all different backgrounds. I've found this to be a good representation of what people actually think about things, though most will not talk about it unless it's brought up first.

[Kofybean]

Prostitution is fun for the johns - he's paying for the experience, after all - often not fun or freely chosen for the prostitute. So I'm not going to include the experience of the prostitute in this. In my experience most women would not be doing it if they felt they had another good option (I didn't say all, I said most).

 

When I lived in Brasil I dated a prostitute, and knew others. Not sure you know what you are talking about. Perhaps it is best you don't.