Who do women have sex with while they make the new guy wait

[phineas]

I actually disagree with this.

 

I'm a very friendly guy IRL and have a significant amount of both male and female friends (and have had many others in the past) from all different backgrounds. I've found this to be a good representation of what people actually think about things, though most will not talk about it unless it's brought up first.

 

So you are saying all your male friends (you included) believe women just want to use them for their attention & money & all your women friends think men just want to use them for sex?

 

I guess then everyone you know is single & nobody is having sex?

[phineas]

Prostitution is fun for the johns - he's paying for the experience, after all - often not fun or freely chosen for the prostitute. So I'm not going to include the experience of the prostitute in this. In my experience most women would not be doing it if they felt they had another good option (I didn't say all, I said most).

 

Don't be obtuse.

 

He made a valid point and you completely dodged it and then tossed out some stereotypical 1970's Huggy Bear example.

Keep the pimp-hand strong!

 

A lot of escort services are run by women.

Or havn't you ever heard the words "Madam" mentioned in the news when related to some rich & famous guy getting caught paying for sex?

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

So you are saying all your male friends (you included) believe women just want to use them for their attention & money & all your women friends think men just want to use them for sex?

 

I guess then everyone you know is single & nobody is having sex?

 

A good portion of women that I've met believe that or something similar to that. Most of them distrust men and believe that they are out for sex.

 

The men that I know IRL vary from "marriage sucks" to "foreign women are better" to "don't settle with girls with promiscuous pasts". These are men that are really nice guys, but keep their views hidden until someone else brings it up. They range from doctors to lawyers to military officers to college students. So it's not just one group of people.

 

Sure, some don't agree with this, but I've found that enough do to make it statistically significant.

 

But then again, I've rarely met "male feminists" or men that side more with women than men in real life. And if you just looked at LS, there are TONS of guys that apparently feel that way. So who knows.

[phineas]

A good portion of women that I've met believe that or something similar to that. Most of them distrust men and believe that they are out for sex.

 

The men that I know IRL vary from "marriage sucks" to "foreign women are better" to "don't settle with girls with promiscuous pasts". These are men that are really nice guys, but keep their views hidden until someone else brings it up. They range from doctors to lawyers to military officers to college students. So it's not just one group of people.

 

Sure, some don't agree with this, but I've found that enough do to make it statistically significant.

 

But then again, I've rarely met "male feminists" or men that side more with women than men in real life. And if you just looked at LS, there are TONS of guys that apparently feel that way. So who knows.

 

So nobody you know is having sex?

No wonder they are all miserable like the majority of people on LS.

[RedRobin]

If you concede that they both can damage people harshly, then why is one (ltr) used as a gatekeeper for sex?

 

Because we want to minimize our chances of having sex with mean or violent men.... and especially avoid the possibility of a child being produced with such a man.

 

My observation (and studies back this up) are that men, in general, are genetically predisposed to lacking empathy... moreso than women. Which is a critical component for maintaining emotionally healthy relationships. This is why more men are violent, are rapists, are serial killers, and in prison.

 

If all one cares to do is reproduce, then no empathy is required. As rape statistics bear out... as do the prolific breeding of those who are unable to care for their children. One wonders about the amount of empathy in either gender in those cases. To knowingly bring a child into the world one can't possibly support... awful.

 

There again... a person who cares about their body AND the outcomes of sex (which include the possibility of unintended pregnancy)... they will be careful. This applies to both men and women.

 

Of course, only a small percentage of men are the worst of the worst. The rest exist on a continuum... a sliding scale as it were. I personally consider those in the middle of the empathy scale to be the ones who are promiscuous and hypocritical about it. Those are the ones who want a woman who has shown discretion herself, and loyal... so that when he cheats on her, he believes she'll put up with it.

 

I prefer to find men on the other end of that scale... (leaning towards more empathy.... not less) which requires that I get to know him in advance of having sex.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I have been on the other side of the equation. (me being the guy who they sleep with, while they date the super ice guy), I have often being told, that said super nice, prince charming, marriage material has not been "tapped", is because they dont want to ruin the relationship and make him work for the Booty.... I think that is stupid, illogical and plain childish. Then they have sex and find it not incredible because expectations run so high...

Women who think like this are control freaks, avoid the like the plague...

 

(why can people speak up and say what they want / Need?) Insecurity and low selfsteem runs rampant.

 

This.

 

To be honest, if there are any good women out there (big if), then these types ruin it for them because they are so common.

 

If I ever hang out with a girl and we get along, but she won't sleep with me, I always wonder if she's sleeping with someone else, which obviously then kills my attraction for her.

 

Lulz

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

So nobody you know is having sex?

No wonder they are all miserable like the majority of people on LS.

 

Huh? When did I say that?

 

Just because they have views outside of the norm doesn't mean they're miserable. Most of those guys get girls, but they're just against marriage for the reasons I stated.

 

For example, IRL, I'm not miserable and I have a good time when I go out and am very friendly at work. But I also happen to be very opinionated....which comes out on anonymous forums like this (because I can't say most of these things IRL).

[Charlie Harper]

This.

 

To be honest, if there are any good women out there (big if), then these types ruin it for them because they are so common.

 

If I ever hang out with a girl and we get along, but she won't sleep with me, I always wonder if she's sleeping with someone else, which obviously then kills my attraction for her.

 

Lulz

 

Ill give you today's example and I am sure you are going to laugh.

 

Dated a divorced woman 3 weeks ago, I did not expect much, because I am not divorced yet, and I dont like chasing women. So we have a really great time and I was very impressed by her wit, confidence and openness. So I ask her out next day to have lunch the day after, so I talk to her and the chemistry is off the scale, so without much fanfare I tell her she is definitely on my priorities as a person, but It would be stupid to put anything in motion now because of my unresolved issues, so she tells me she is happy I am straightforward and that she likes me a lot too, so we are cool/good. She calls me an hour later and tells me she is so happy I am confident and forthcoming and that I am not playing games with her just to have sex, I tell her I really want to have sex with her, that I like her so much but I dont want to have a lover as I am not divorced yet.

 

I went out with her twice again, one lunch, one breakfast, everything good, now we are calling each other almost everyday..so we are good, she goes on work trips 2 or 3 days, and we whatssapp each other. I help her with a big project that is giving her headaches and economic trouble, she is happy, then one day texting me she makes a mistake and sends me "We had a great time my initials I hope we can do it again, I love you so much"...I read it and I know she has a friend name exactly like me, so I think, ok WRONG message, so I answer back "?????" "I thought you were not dating anyone else", she answers back "ops sorry I sent something wrong LOL", nothing after that, So I did not call her NOTHING for a week.

 

She calls me today and tells me where the hell have I been, and I told her well I am checking the gene pool, since I want to have some fun. SILENCE..... then I add : It seems to me you are having fun isnt it? , she tells me Its someone she hangs out and have fun with, so I tell her: "Look we are both mature here, I could have been more aggressive and by now we would have slept together, but I did not want to complicate things just because I need sex, you could have told me you had someone - she interrupts me and says "but you are very funny, intelligent, successful and I told you I really like you, I wanted to be sure you are the real deal...

 

so I say..Paty, I am the real deal, but you are not.... thanks anyway I hung up.

 

So basically I told her I am really interested, that I want to resolve my situation, she tells me she is happy confortable and she likes me, and proceeds to test me....GOOD LORD.

 

P.D. The incredibel thing is that if I had sex with her, I am sure I would have her texting me all day.... GOD you can never win... and she is my age! LOL

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Ill give you today's example and I am sure you are going to laugh.

 

Dated a divorced woman 3 weeks ago, I did not expect much, because I am not divorced yet, and I dont like chasing women. So we have a really great time and I was very impressed by her wit, confidence and openness. So I ask her out next day to have lunch the day after, so I talk to her and the chemistry is off the scale, so without much fanfare I tell her she is definitely on my priorities as a person, but It would be stupid to put anything in motion now because of my unresolved issues, so she tells me she is happy I am straightforward and that she likes me a lot too, so we are cool/good. She calls me an hour later and tells me she is so happy I am confident and forthcoming and that I am not playing games with her just to have sex, I tell her I really want to have sex with her, that I like her so much but I dont want to have a lover as I am not divorced yet.

 

I went out with her twice again, one lunch, one breakfast, everything good, now we are calling each other almost everyday..so we are good, she goes on work trips 2 or 3 days, and we whatssapp each other. I help her with a big project that is giving her headaches and economic trouble, she is happy, then one day texting me she makes a mistake and sends me "We had a great time my initials I hope we can do it again, I love you so much"...I read it and I know she has a friend name exactly like me, so I think, ok WRONG message, so I answer back "?????" "I thought you were not dating anyone else", she answers back "ops sorry I sent something wrong LOL", nothing after that, So I did not call her NOTHING for a week.

 

She calls me today and tells me where the hell have I been, and I told her well I am checking the gene pool, since I want to have some fun. SILENCE..... then I add : It seems to me you are having fun isnt it? , she tells me Its someone she hangs out and have fun with, so I tell her: "Look we are both mature here, I could have been more aggressive and by now we would have slept together, but I did not want to complicate things just because I need sex, you could have told me you had someone - she interrupts me and says "but you are very funny, intelligent, successful and I told you I really like you, I wanted to be sure you are the real deal...

 

so I say..Paty, I am the real deal, but you are not.... thanks anyway I hung up.

 

So basically I told her I am really interested, that I want to resolve my situation, she tells me she is happy confortable and she likes me, and proceeds to test me....GOOD LORD.

 

P.D. The incredibel thing is that if I had sex with her, I am sure I would have her texting me all day.... GOD you can never win... and she is my age! LOL

 

Agreed completely.

 

I've been the "sex guy" many times, the FWB. I've even had situations where the "dating guy" would call while we were having sex. She would call him back and say she was in the shower or something. Crazy.

 

Of course, most of that happened before I had a good job and a good education. Now, because I do, I've become the "dating guy" (although I don't really let myself be THAT guy).

 

My, how the table have turned.

[Charlie Harper]

Agreed completely.

 

I've been the "sex guy" many times, the FWB. I've even had situations where the "dating guy" would call while we were having sex. She would call him back and say she was in the shower or something. Crazy.

 

Of course, most of that happened before I had a good job and a good education. Now, because I do, I've become the "dating guy" (although I don't really let myself be THAT guy).

 

My, how the table have turned.

 

What I find completely bonkers is that, I am really a monster, but since I got tired of playing stupid games, I preferred to be open, vulnerable and tried to connect, and this is what I get...

I am sure she will call me today, maybe tomorrow, but no later than that... weird isnt it?

and to think that the is a very attractive woman 10 years younger than me that I should be having sex with, but havent because she is a drama queen...

 

Insecurity is a *itch, isnt it? LOL

[LoveTKO]

A lot of them have a friends with benefits on the side who they really want to date but end up settling for with good sex. It happened to me.This one girl was seeing me on the side and has actually been in and out of my life for many years now. She would go out with her girlfriend to meet suitable men but at the same time I would get a text at 1:00 asking me if I was still awake. The sex is/was always amazing but her prospective dates had no clue.

 

Also, be careful with women who just came out of relationships or a divorce because there is a very good chance that things are still lingering on with the ex. You're trying to be Mr nice being respectful and patient but she's getting her needs fulfilled.

[RedRobin]

Ill give you today's example and I am sure you are going to laugh.

 

Dated a divorced woman 3 weeks ago, I did not expect much, because I am not divorced yet, and I dont like chasing women. So we have a really great time and I was very impressed by her wit, confidence and openness. So I ask her out next day to have lunch the day after, so I talk to her and the chemistry is off the scale, so without much fanfare I tell her she is definitely on my priorities as a person, but It would be stupid to put anything in motion now because of my unresolved issues, so she tells me she is happy I am straightforward and that she likes me a lot too, so we are cool/good. She calls me an hour later and tells me she is so happy I am confident and forthcoming and that I am not playing games with her just to have sex, I tell her I really want to have sex with her, that I like her so much but I dont want to have a lover as I am not divorced yet.

 

I went out with her twice again, one lunch, one breakfast, everything good, now we are calling each other almost everyday..so we are good, she goes on work trips 2 or 3 days, and we whatssapp each other. I help her with a big project that is giving her headaches and economic trouble, she is happy, then one day texting me she makes a mistake and sends me "We had a great time my initials I hope we can do it again, I love you so much"...I read it and I know she has a friend name exactly like me, so I think, ok WRONG message, so I answer back "?????" "I thought you were not dating anyone else", she answers back "ops sorry I sent something wrong LOL", nothing after that, So I did not call her NOTHING for a week.

 

She calls me today and tells me where the hell have I been, and I told her well I am checking the gene pool, since I want to have some fun. SILENCE..... then I add : It seems to me you are having fun isnt it? , she tells me Its someone she hangs out and have fun with, so I tell her: "Look we are both mature here, I could have been more aggressive and by now we would have slept together, but I did not want to complicate things just because I need sex, you could have told me you had someone - she interrupts me and says "but you are very funny, intelligent, successful and I told you I really like you, I wanted to be sure you are the real deal...

 

so I say..Paty, I am the real deal, but you are not.... thanks anyway I hung up.

 

So basically I told her I am really interested, that I want to resolve my situation, she tells me she is happy confortable and she likes me, and proceeds to test me....GOOD LORD.

 

P.D. The incredibel thing is that if I had sex with her, I am sure I would have her texting me all day.... GOD you can never win... and she is my age! LOL

 

That really sucks... no one wants to be played for a fool or feel like a chump.

 

She should have been honest with you.

 

I've been seeing a guy about once or twice a week for the past month. We haven't done anything sexual. He's talked about it, and I told him that I prefer to go slow. He calls when he says he will, I met his sister and fiancée this last weekend.... we all had a great time.

 

HE said early on that he wants his next relationship to be the with the person he spends the rest of his life with. He could be BSing me... but he's been 100% solid on everything so far. At this point, I have no idea whether HE is sleeping with other women though.

 

I agree that this junk happens on both sides and it kills any budding intimacy.

 

In the meantime, there is another guy that I dated (didn't have sex with) back in March-May. I stopped seeing him back then because I didn't think our values were compatible... He's had FWB and thinks casual sex is ok. I don't.

 

Anyway, we saw each other at a road race recently and I agreed to go on a bike ride with him. Now he's starting with the sexy talk and I'm going to have to cut it out altogether. Not only because I know for sure we are incompatible for a relationship... but I don't want my new guy to think I've got a pool of orbiters that I sleep with occasionally... because I don't.

[Kate9292]

With guys I do not see myself in relationship with, but find them just sooo hot.

Edited October 22, 2013 by Kate9292

[hppr]

For the women that have the 90+ day waiting period before allowing a guy to have sex. Who do you see on the side while he is in probabtion?

 

Usually some douchey guy they don't care about.

 

If you are interested in some girl and you know she is banging some guy while making you wait stop being a fool, ditch that [person] and find some girl who has some self-respect and who cares about you. People like that are almost always focused solely on themselves, their own emotions and pleasures and they don't make good companions beyond casual sex.

Edited October 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[Kate9292]

ditch that [person]

WHAT?!

 

Technically we weren't together, just kind of seeing each other, so I was free to sleep with whoever I wanted and I wasn't cheating. You boys who call girls <redacted> are the ones who don't get any because you'd probably call the very same girl you slept with a <redacted> next morning. Yet you must feel like a stud for sleeping with the same girl.

 

Hypocrites...

Edited October 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited quote and response for language

[Shocksock]

I made my current bf wait a few months and it was great decision. I could get to know him without all those emotions from sex clouding my mind. He didn't mind either and if he did, he never said it.

 

Technically we weren't together, just kind of seeing each other, so I was free to sleep with whoever I wanted and I wasn't cheating.

 

This is exactly what the OP is talking about which almost every woman in this thread is denying.

[Kate9292]

This is exactly what the OP is talking about which almost every woman in this thread is denying.

 

Maybe. And what's wrong with that?

[William]

As a reminder to members, I'll share what our site owner says about language used on our forums:

 

Language & decency: Use language that not only reflects proper terminology, but that is in no way vulgar, profane, obscene, pornographic, demeaning, or pejorative to the subject being described or those contributing to the discussion

 

I edited out a few iterations I noted of the word 'slut', which is considered to be pejorative to our discussion and, in general, postings not relevant to the topic of 'who women have sex with while making the new guy wait' can be considered to be off-topic. This is not a thread about the women, but rather about the men they have sex with. Since this is my second appearance here, after this post non-conforming postings will be sanctioned. Thanks!

[salparadise]

Maybe. And what's wrong with that?

 

You were postponing sex while encouraging him to invest in a relationship with you, and f*cking another guy the whole time... and you have to ask, what's wrong with that?

 

never mind... I'll conserve my keystrokes for where they might be useful.

[stillafool]

For the women that have the 90+ day waiting period before allowing a guy to have sex. Who do you see on the side while he is in probabtion?

 

Their dildo!

[travelonic]

Maybe. And what's wrong with that?

 

So encouraging a relationship with somebody, while denying sexual intimacy for that person for a period of time, AND WHILE screwing someone else on the sidelines while in that relationship is OK?

 

Encouraging a relationship with somebody, while denying sexual intimacy for that person for a period of time IN OF ITSELF is not the problem, it's doing that AND screwing on the sidelines while with said person.

 

It's quite elementary what the issue is.

[man_in_the_box]

I cannot believe there's actually someone trying to justify that - let alone have a bf who agrees with it. Either he's a total doormat or left unaware

[Kate9292]

So encouraging a relationship with somebody, while denying sexual intimacy for that person for a period of time, AND WHILE screwing someone else on the sidelines while in that relationship is OK?

 

Encouraging a relationship with somebody, while denying sexual intimacy for that person for a period of time IN OF ITSELF is not the problem, it's doing that AND screwing on the sidelines while with said person.

 

It's quite elementary what the issue is.

 

I cannot believe there's actually someone trying to justify that - let alone have a bf who agrees with it. Either he's a total doormat or left unaware

 

Okay.

 

First, I didn't "deny" my bf anything. Actually, he told me first that he doesn't want to pressure me into sex and that I should be comfortable with it first. It was very sweet and a big reason why I kept dating him.

 

Second, I really don't see the issue. Like I said, we weren't in a relationship, just dating, it was none of his business who I slept with. Like it isn't my business who he slept with - but with his attitude I think he didn't. He could very well be sleeping with other girls too and just lie to me, but I chose to trust him.

 

And of course I like that he was investing in our relationship. It shows he cared about me as a person and not some sex object.

[crederer]

A lot of them have a friends with benefits on the side who they really want to date but end up settling for with good sex. It happened to me.This one girl was seeing me on the side and has actually been in and out of my life for many years now. She would go out with her girlfriend to meet suitable men but at the same time I would get a text at 1:00 asking me if I was still awake. The sex is/was always amazing but her prospective dates had no clue.

 

Also, be careful with women who just came out of relationships or a divorce because there is a very good chance that things are still lingering on with the ex. You're trying to be Mr nice being respectful and patient but she's getting her needs fulfilled.

 

That doesn't mean she had a bf she was making wait. It means she is looking for a guy, didn't find one, and called you. And if you went on a couple of dates with someone, it doesn't mean jack.

[aussie sam]

I've been the "sex guy" many times...Of course, most of that happened before I had a good job and a good education. Now, because I do, I've become the "dating guy" (although I don't really let myself be THAT guy).

 

I'm at that stage at the moment. I wouldn't really consider myself great boyfriend material on paper. At least one of the girls that I am sleeping with is dating a guy that she won't sleep with. It's weird but it's also fun when you figure out these life hacks.