MovingOn84 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 My ex and I split two years ago. It was over long before the papers were signed, and I grieved it while still in it. When it was over, I was mainly relieved and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulder. I didn't even fight for any possessions. My ex has a serious entitlement issue and he would've fought me tooth and nail for every stitch of furniture. I left with my car, one TV (out of 5) and a washer/dryer. I was adament that my children live with me. I knew if they lived with him they would get very little supervision and care. He knew to express himself in two ways....Anger and Self destruction. If he wasn't mad, he was depressed ALL THE TIME. I tried I really really did but even I had my limit. They visit him on Wed nights and every other weekend. My main concern was and still is our two children. I've gone to great lengths to be sure my children know that their father and I both still love them and even though we don't live together anymore, nothing was their fault. My ex however, has not been so concerned for their well-being it seems. The games began. I worked a part-time job so you can imagine how difficult it was for me financially. He would make large purchases for the children and each night I kept hearing about a new "surprise" they had waiting when they come for a visit. So yeah, I wasn't the popular parent. Mom had very very little. Dad had it all. Then he began very openly and publicly dating women who I thought were friends or women who were within our circle. Other baseball or football moms etc. etc. Which it wasn't the fact that he dated that bothered me. Actually I had hoped he would so he'd have someone else to focus on but it was the constant turmoil and the kids functions I couldn't deal with. I couldn't even enjoy a baseball game or school function without sneers or evil eyes. I pushed on though and didn't give the reaction that was hoped for. Eventually I met someone and we began dating. The "you know what" really hit the fan then. He would actually say to the children that I was sleeping with a new guy and I cared about him more than the family. They were 8 and 5 at the time and hadn't even met him yet. He also stopped helping out financially with the children. Ok so fast forward just over a year and I am now engaged to and living with the "new guy" the kids love him and I still make sure they know they can have and love all of us including their father and its all ok! Ex is still difficult he refuses to come to any kind of agreement or compromise. I had to take him to court for child support and was awarded it just last month despite him having a very good job. For a year I received no help. School clothes and supplies, school fees, sports fees, insurance, after-school care fees, and the mutlitude of other expenses thats associated with children...nothing. He still makes every single little thing difficult and he tells the kids things (things they really shouldn't hear) just to make sure it gets back to me. I'm tired and fed-up every week is some drama and I'm constantly tense waiting for the next one. Is there anything I can do or does anyone have any advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Sadly, I doubt there is anything you can do about his attitude. So sorry. I've been through this same thing. My exH made life as difficult as possible for me through the kids in any way he could for years. The good news is that my kids, and yours will do the same, saw it all up close so that there came a time they didn't want anything to do with him. This was about eight years after he left me. Once he was out of the picture life improved for all of us! Be glad you have the support of your fiance and just wait it out until the kids are older. Besides praying about it, that's all you can do, IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
TiredFamilyGuy Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Sounds like his issues are all still with him. What a dick. One of my buddies, his wife left when she had an affair with the lawn guy and he found out. She chose the kids as the means of expressing herself: awkward about access, about school, about not communicating on health issues; you name it she was awkward about it. The bad attitude ended when her boyfriend split after a few years (wouldn't marry her). My buddy however took the high road throughout and I respect him hugely for it. You are doing it right. Keep on not stooping. It is hard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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