NGC1300 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I work 6 days a week, and frankly I'm tired. Today's my only day off and I planned on spending it catching up on household chores an then just relaxing. Well I got a text from my mother asking me to join my dad and brother out for dinner tonight. I politely declined, and said I didn't feel like going out. Just like my mother would, she then called with a disapproving tone and needed to know why I wasn't going, even though I already told her. She then tried to make me feel guilty by saying it was their anniversary. (Which I don't see what that has to do with me). Am I really being unreasonable? It's not like I never see them; I just have my own life and didn't feel like going out. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Missed opportunities are just that , missed. Is it selfish to decline, nope! Its your choice to attend or not. I personally come from the reflective mode in life and ask myself ...IS this event that I am being asked to attend creating memories or is it something that is "required" grudgingly. It wou;d probably be a good peace offering to re-schedule a day to celebrate the anniversary.....Though its not your anniversary...Its still a day to recognize for your parents. How would you feel if a birthday party was planned for you and folks said...why should I come? Its not my birthday??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Yes, it selfish of you - your parents have one anniversary a year and has a lot to do with you as a member of the family. Suck it up, go, and be pleasant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NGC1300 Posted October 20, 2013 Author Share Posted October 20, 2013 Yes, it selfish of you - your parents have one anniversary a year and has a lot to do with you as a member of the family. Suck it up, go, and be pleasant. Didn't think it was that big of a deal, especially since I can't recall a single time we've ever celebrated it in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 If you're so tired......wouldn't the opportunity to NOT have to make dinner save you some energy. Gee's I jump at the chance to spend time with my family, you never know when they may no longer be around. Your choice though. If you were my child, I would think you were self-centered. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I'm not big on 'special events' either, so I understand how you feel about it. But because it's their anniversary, and at least this year it seems to be special to them (is it on the decade or something?) I think you should go. Normally I don't think people should do things like this if they don't want to, but I make a few exceptions - like your parents and their anniversary. A friend's anniversary? No. Your parents? Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NGC1300 Posted October 20, 2013 Author Share Posted October 20, 2013 Oh well, I didn't go. I know it's horrible but I don't care what my mother thinks anymore. We've never been on good terms. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Astar Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) I work 6 days a week, and frankly I'm tired. Today's my only day off and I planned on spending it catching up on household chores an then just relaxing. Well I got a text from my mother asking me to join my dad and brother out for dinner tonight. I politely declined, and said I didn't feel like going out. Just like my mother would, she then called with a disapproving tone and needed to know why I wasn't going, even though I already told her. She then tried to make me feel guilty by saying it was their anniversary. (Which I don't see what that has to do with me). Am I really being unreasonable? It's not like I never see them; I just have my own life and didn't feel like going out. Controlling moms use to be like that. Maybe, since it's an important meeting, it was important for her that you were there, but after hearing that you couldn't/didn't want to go, she should have said: ok sweetie, I'll see you later. If your mother is as controlling as mine, she won't only remember you that you, being so horrible and mean to her, didn't go to the anniversary that night, she will do it in every chance possible. For things like this, I decided that I wanted to see my mom until christmas, I can't take her #! anymore. Don't feel guilty. You were nice, you were polite. She can't expect you are a teddy bear and put you whenever she wants always. You did what you had to do and that's ok. You are not selfish. Edited October 21, 2013 by Astar 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Didn't think it was that big of a deal, especially since I can't recall a single time we've ever celebrated it in the past. I feel deeply sorry for you...not patronizing here...the memory is a funny thing.... Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I can understand celebrating a milestone anniversary, but just any other? I don't think you are selfish at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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