When trust is gone

[Confusedbeyondbelief]

Thanks again everyone. I know I'm frustrating many of you, and I'm sorry for that. But I really do appreciate all of the time all of you have spent helping me.

 

I have a question about no contact. If I decide to do this to work on me, do I tell him I'm doing it or just start it? I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to do it yet, but I'm definitely thinking about it.

[Simon Phoenix]

If you believe that this whole thing is an interplanetary conspiracy against your cheating boyfriend, then there's really nothing we can say to get through to you, because you are wearing a tin-foil hat. Situations don't get any more black and white than this one -- he is a serial cheater with no regard for anyone, you are a delusional fool if you take him back. If you take him back, he will continue to cheat -- he's attempting to get a girl on the side right now! I'm at a loss for words right now -- you aren't a 14-year-old girl with her first boyfriend, you are an adult woman with children. Snap out of it!

[JDPT]

So delusional put the shiet to rest and move on, pause.

[Zahara]

I have a question about no contact. If I decide to do this to work on me, do I tell him I'm doing it or just start it? I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to do it yet, but I'm definitely thinking about it.

 

There is no IF. Do the damn work. There is no thinking about it. And even when it comes to your own well-being, you are wondering how do you tell him you need to prioritize yourself. You think he prioritized your feelings when he was sleeping with another woman for the four months that he was with you. He didn't give a shytt. Now you want to know how you should deal with his feelings?

 

"I am negotiating going back to a serial cheater." Read that sentence. Do you comprehend what you are thinking and contemplating? Read it again and again. Do you comprehend it to be logical, normal? If your daughter came to you and said, "Mom, I am going back to my serial cheater boyfriend because he is now sorry." What would you say? You'd tell her, 'Well, sweetie, you both love each other and you should work on it together." Or would you be deathly afraid of her being hurt again because you know the probability of him cheating again is high.

Edited November 1, 2013 by Zahara

[dreamingoftigers]

Maybe she works for the NSA...

 

OH FFS!!!!!!!!!

 

Alright everyone, our cover has been blown here. We are all in league with the other girl because she doesn't want him to be happy. We all work with her.

 

We might as well reveal ourselves and give this poor young lady the true backstory so she can make an informed decision if she's willing to continue this relationship for the sake of true love National Security.

 

You see, both your boyfriend and this other woman work for the NSA. Except he also works in higher offices dealing with Homeland Security. It's really very hush-hush.

 

There has been a plot by the Russians to bring about destruction of America through means of making lower and middle class women very unhappy with the men in America, thereby lowering the birthrate, causing an aging population and an overall strain on resources. Giving American men beer, drugs, porn, MMA, and encouraging getting drunk and playing with snakes or doing really stupid stunts to get imprisoned just WAS NOT WORKING. Women were STILL mating with these guys.

 

And Russia was losing out, big time. After the whole Syrian debacle and those shirtless photos of Putin, it looked as if Russia was falling behind. The only hope came through Anna Chapman and Edward Snowden, as they hatched a plot only they could come up with. They traveled back in time to get really stupid men to blurt things out in the media during last year's presidential election.

 

The Todd Akin "legitimate rape" comment? The work of Russian spies.

The Mitt Romney "47%" comment? Ditto.

And Bill O'Reilly.... well... they just let him stay on the air.

 

Finally the tide was turning. American women were becoming increasingly disillusioned with American men.

 

But then Homeland Security responded by recruiting your boyfriend. His task: please as many American women as possible until other American men were able to step in and finish the job for him.

 

We should salute this brave man for what he has done! He lost his marriage to his heartless, not understanding wife in the commission of his duties. He went from trailer park to trailer park all over the Mid-West dating and charming women. He went from shack to shack in the South and to all of the major train stations around New York City before even taking a break.

 

Women everywhere began to have slight hopes that maybe American men weren't becoming so repulsive and glued only to X-Box making fart jokes after cracking one off. There was finally some home. America had finally found it's Don Juan.

 

As soon as the Russians heard about this heinous plot, they employed us, and of course the other girl. Her mission: expose him to as many American women as he had already exposed himself to.

 

But there was already a hitch. You see, he had fallen in love already. With our OP. But Homeland Security had still made it their mission to have our Don Juan conquer the hearts of more maidens.

 

So he trudged back to work romancing his next target who was planted by the Russians to work in one of the top NSA offices so she could track all of his correspondence, thereby exposing him as the "cheater" he was.

 

That's how she knew! That's how she knew how to upload his profile and when he was online. We were hired to support her in her endeavors.

 

We sit, on Loveshack, as patriotic ex-KGB but still strong Russian members encouraging American women to break things off with the agents that have been assigned to them, as the very instantly it looks like they might have been cheating.

 

"Is he left-handed?" DUMP HIM, he's CHEATING!

 

"Does he eat the main course BEFORE the salad" He's a CHEATER. Look how he cheats on his salad with his main course! Everyone knows that the salad comes first!

 

OP, it is your patriotic duty to not only accept his cheating, but ENABLE and ENCOURAGE it! You can't let the Russians (*ahem*, us) win!

 

OP you have one shot to make this right!

 

There is no other plausible explanation as to why this other girl is contacting you, except if it is part of an international plot to discredit not only your boyfriend but ALL American men!

 

It is your obligation, DUTY as a patriotic American to encourage him to stick his dick in as many American women as possible and completely disregard the information that dirty Russian-spy-woman gave to you.

 

The consequences for me turning against the crowd are dire. I should never have told you. As much as I love Mother Russia, I couldn't handle the thought of besmirching this great man's name!

 

Plus, I love him too you know, we all do. We are a jealous, jealous forum board of Russian spies, NSA agents and ladies and gentlemen of broken hearts! You can't have him! We must! He's too good to resist. We're even trying to recruit him!

 

But at the same time, we realize that he loves you so much and will dedicate all of his off-duty time to you. You know, the time where he is not required by the government to screw legions of women.

 

Don't let everyone on here fool you. It IS and international plot. And he's really just like James Bond.

[Confusedbeyondbelief]

OH FFS!!!!!!!!!

 

Alright everyone, our cover has been blown here. We are all in league with the other girl because she doesn't want him to be happy. We all work with her.

 

We might as well reveal ourselves and give this poor young lady the true backstory so she can make an informed decision if she's willing to continue this relationship for the sake of true love National Security.

 

You see, both your boyfriend and this other woman work for the NSA. Except he also works in higher offices dealing with Homeland Security. It's really very hush-hush.

 

There has been a plot by the Russians to bring about destruction of America through means of making lower and middle class women very unhappy with the men in America, thereby lowering the birthrate, causing an aging population and an overall strain on resources. Giving American men beer, drugs, porn, MMA, and encouraging getting drunk and playing with snakes or doing really stupid stunts to get imprisoned just WAS NOT WORKING. Women were STILL mating with these guys.

 

And Russia was losing out, big time. After the whole Syrian debacle and those shirtless photos of Putin, it looked as if Russia was falling behind. The only hope came through Anna Chapman and Edward Snowden, as they hatched a plot only they could come up with. They traveled back in time to get really stupid men to blurt things out in the media during last year's presidential election.

 

The Todd Akin "legitimate rape" comment? The work of Russian spies.

The Mitt Romney "47%" comment? Ditto.

And Bill O'Reilly.... well... they just let him stay on the air.

 

Finally the tide was turning. American women were becoming increasingly disillusioned with American men.

 

But then Homeland Security responded by recruiting your boyfriend. His task: please as many American women as possible until other American men were able to step in and finish the job for him.

 

We should salute this brave man for what he has done! He lost his marriage to his heartless, not understanding wife in the commission of his duties. He went from trailer park to trailer park all over the Mid-West dating and charming women. He went from shack to shack in the South and to all of the major train stations around New York City before even taking a break.

 

Women everywhere began to have slight hopes that maybe American men weren't becoming so repulsive and glued only to X-Box making fart jokes after cracking one off. There was finally some home. America had finally found it's Don Juan.

 

As soon as the Russians heard about this heinous plot, they employed us, and of course the other girl. Her mission: expose him to as many American women as he had already exposed himself to.

 

But there was already a hitch. You see, he had fallen in love already. With our OP. But Homeland Security had still made it their mission to have our Don Juan conquer the hearts of more maidens.

 

So he trudged back to work romancing his next target who was planted by the Russians to work in one of the top NSA offices so she could track all of his correspondence, thereby exposing him as the "cheater" he was.

 

That's how she knew! That's how she knew how to upload his profile and when he was online. We were hired to support her in her endeavors.

 

We sit, on Loveshack, as patriotic ex-KGB but still strong Russian members encouraging American women to break things off with the agents that have been assigned to them, as the very instantly it looks like they might have been cheating.

 

"Is he left-handed?" DUMP HIM, he's CHEATING!

 

"Does he eat the main course BEFORE the salad" He's a CHEATER. Look how he cheats on his salad with his main course! Everyone knows that the salad comes first!

 

OP, it is your patriotic duty to not only accept his cheating, but ENABLE and ENCOURAGE it! You can't let the Russians (*ahem*, us) win!

 

OP you have one shot to make this right!

 

There is no other plausible explanation as to why this other girl is contacting you, except if it is part of an international plot to discredit not only your boyfriend but ALL American men!

 

It is your obligation, DUTY as a patriotic American to encourage him to stick his dick in as many American women as possible and completely disregard the information that dirty Russian-spy-woman gave to you.

 

The consequences for me turning against the crowd are dire. I should never have told you. As much as I love Mother Russia, I couldn't handle the thought of besmirching this great man's name!

 

Plus, I love him too you know, we all do. We are a jealous, jealous forum board of Russian spies, NSA agents and ladies and gentlemen of broken hearts! You can't have him! We must! He's too good to resist. We're even trying to recruit him!

 

But at the same time, we realize that he loves you so much and will dedicate all of his off-duty time to you. You know, the time where he is not required by the government to screw legions of women.

 

Don't let everyone on here fool you. It IS and international plot. And he's really just like James Bond.

 

 

Well, I'm really glad my life is a joke to you. That helps a lot.

[h0000]

well, to be honest, you are making yourself a joke.

you seem to ignore that we pointed out he doesnt love you. so this wont work never ever.

you either stay quiet and let him f whoever he wants or he will dump you soon as he finds his next victim cuz ur nagging about it.

However he will never love you and stay faithful to you

[dreamingoftigers]

This is too much.

 

This guy has shanked you in the back after less than a year.

 

You have children.

 

You TAKE HIM BACK and he shanks you again.

 

But still you want him to "explain himself."

 

You aren't his Mom. You aren't going to spank him and he won't do it again.

 

You are your children's Mom. And this is just a pitiful thing to pursue for them.

 

I know what it's like to feel guilty for dumping one of these asswholes but this guy is actually ASKING for it. Just not directly. He'd rather tie you up with sick mind games and lies.

 

Okay, get it?

 

He cares how you feel when he's with you, but not for one iota the second he's not. He uses you like crack and burns you up. And gràbs a different crack rock.

 

Because he feels like "he's the man" because he holds the power of not telling the truth over more than one woman. He gets high off of thàt.

 

He doesn't love any of you. Anymore than Alexander the Greek loved the lands and people he conquered. They were conquests. Conquests that fed his reputation and ego.

 

They more thinly veiled the lie the you believe the higher this guy gets. He feels like he really has it over on someone.

 

You don't want to stick around long enough to look down the barrel of that gun.

 

You are hooked because he makes it feel like everything is "all about you."

 

He tells you how good you make him feel, how beautiful, how he's so lucky to have you etc etc etc. then if you question any of that, he simply withdraws and you feel that attention he gives you slipping away.

 

And you need that damned attention like a drug just like he needs to screw you over for his fix. Well, not just you, any woman will do. Any woman that will give him that kind of ego-boost attention.

 

If he wasn't like a drug to you, you wouldn't be on here trying to find a million excuses to be with him despite the obvious information you have.

 

Like a meth addict talking about how they àre "going to cut back" or "it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

 

You figure if you can just ignore and overlook this and just "talk to him about it and show him how hurt you are" that he'll STOP and APPRECIATE you and shower you with that kind of attention he does. Maybe it will even be BETTER because he'll see just how charitable you are being.......

 

It doesn't work like that. All that happens is now he sees "permission" and a "don't ask don't tell" policy regarding cheating.

 

That's not a joke. That's an addiction. Get some help.

[Haydn]

Alright. go easy on her......Shes in love and there is no cure for that. just time....like most of us have found.........but our own advice is hard to swallow but that why we are here on this forum.

[dreamingoftigers]

Alright. go easy on her......Shes in love and there is no cure for that. just time....like most of us have found.........but our own advice is hard to swallow but that why we are here on this forum.

 

Stupid "love"

 

Cupid should shove those arrows up his butt....

[Simon Phoenix]

Well, I'm really glad my life is a joke to you. That helps a lot.

 

You are giving us a lot of material. I mean, the amount of spinning and mind-bending you are doing to try to dismiss red flags the size of China is mind-blowing.

[dreamingoftigers]

You are giving us a lot of material. I mean, the amount of spinning and mind-bending you are doing to try to dismiss red flags the size of China is mind-blowing.

 

Those are Soviet flags, we're traditional.

[Simon Phoenix]

Alright. go easy on her......Shes in love and there is no cure for that. just time....like most of us have found.........but our own advice is hard to swallow but that why we are here on this forum.

 

I think it's more codependency and lack of self-esteem than love.

[Fufu]

Thanks again everyone. I know I'm frustrating many of you, and I'm sorry for that. But I really do appreciate all of the time all of you have spent helping me.

 

I have a question about no contact. If I decide to do this to work on me, do I tell him I'm doing it or just start it? I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to do it yet, but I'm definitely thinking about it.

 

My dear we know you are in pain and honestly you do not frustrate me, I just feel that at this stage you are feeling very emotionally.

 

I did NC without telling my ex, but I'm not sure about others.

[Confusedbeyondbelief]

Hi everyone. I haven't spoken with him for a few days now. I am, however, getting ready to leave and watch Monday night football with a group of friends, and I'm sure he will be there.

 

I've gone back and forth about whether to go or not, but these are my group of friends too, and I don't want to be the one that has to sit at home because of the weird situation he has created.

 

Any advice before I go? I'm leaving in about an hour and I'm getting nervous.

[Simon Phoenix]

Hi everyone. I haven't spoken with him for a few days now. I am, however, getting ready to leave and watch Monday night football with a group of friends, and I'm sure he will be there.

 

I've gone back and forth about whether to go or not, but these are my group of friends too, and I don't want to be the one that has to sit at home because of the weird situation he has created.

 

Any advice before I go? I'm leaving in about an hour and I'm getting nervous.

 

Um, wait until Monday to watch Monday Night football (I'm guessing you meant Sunday night football)

[Confusedbeyondbelief]

Um, wait until Monday to watch Monday Night football (I'm guessing you meant Sunday night football)

 

 

Yep! I definitely meant Sunday night football. Sorry about that!

 

Any other advice??

[ponchsox]

Hi everyone. I haven't spoken with him for a few days now. I am, however, getting ready to leave and watch Monday night football with a group of friends, and I'm sure he will be there.

 

I've gone back and forth about whether to go or not, but these are my group of friends too, and I don't want to be the one that has to sit at home because of the weird situation he has created.

 

Any advice before I go? I'm leaving in about an hour and I'm getting nervous.

 

I wouldn't go, but that is just me. No worse way to break NC than seeing them in person.

[Simon Phoenix]

Yep! I definitely meant Sunday night football. Sorry about that!

 

Any other advice??

 

Nothing that hasn't already been given ITT. I think it's a bad idea, but you are going to do what you are going to do.

[Zahara]

No advice. All I will say is that it's not in your best interest. At this point you need to just do what you need to do.

[Zahara]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/434798-i-m-terrible-person

 

Apparently, ConfusedBeyondBelief and CompletelyMiserable is the same person.

 

Only thing both stories differ (thread above) posting under CompletelyMiserable, the other woman is still staying with the douchebag, and OP wants nothing to do with him and her. Vastly different from what she posted on this thread, that she is contemplating going back because she wants to work together with him and that the other woman decided to walk away.

 

I feel like I have been taken for a ride.

Edited November 4, 2013 by Zahara

[headinthecloud]

I find it amazing that people continue to reply to this epic "drama filled" thread when there are other people on LS who are truly hurting and looking for serious advice and they barely get a response.

[Zahara]

Not replying to her threads or providing advice anymore. Just nothing the inconsistencies and lies in her story(ies) as mentioned in my post above.

[Zahara]

What the?

 

That's pathetic. So OP is nothing but a troll.

 

Sad, that people get their kicks off doing stuff like this...

 

Posters were genuine in wanting to help her but she chose to play around with her story. She deleted her post on the other thread really quickly when she realized she posted under the wrong username. Pathetic is right.

[BC1980]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/434798-i-m-terrible-person

 

Apparently, ConfusedBeyondBelief and CompletelyMiserable is the same person.

 

Only thing both stories differ (thread above) posting under CompletelyMiserable, the other woman is still staying with the douchebag, and OP wants nothing to do with him and her. Vastly different from what she posted on this thread, that she is contemplating going back because she wants to work together with him and that the other woman decided to walk away.

 

I feel like I have been taken for a ride.

 

It's funny you discovered this because I thought it was a weird coincidence that both of these threads appeared almost simultaneously. I can't believe the OP actually admitted that she is two people on the other thread.