AHT Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 If you and your former teacher take a coffee in your apartment, lunchtime, and now decided to do it again soon (after some weeks) - what would you think? This teacher always hugged you in school in his office - close twoarmed hugs, cheek to cheek. Also placed a hand on your waist as respons when you placed a hand on his shoulder or after hugs. Often he hugs you several times in a row. And he often takes your hand/hands after hugs. Smiling. He did the same thing after the coffee in the apartment - 3 hugs in a row, took hands. You share the same interests in specific subjects (that's why you talked so often in his office). He has said several times you're his best student ever, you're not like everyone else etc. Has comment your body like "there's no many gram too much there" smiling. One time in the beginning said you're his soulmate, after a hug. You're 19, he's 55+ and married, has adopted young children. It's in Sweden, you're both swedish, so hugs etc are really not in the culture. You graduated in June, in the apartment was first time you two meet after graduation. Link to post Share on other sites
Milly Moo Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Yes. I think he is attracted to you beyond friendship. Whether or not he would act on it is another thing. Does he seem happily married? I would be inclined to back off slightly to let it cool off. Unless you draw the lines clearly he may not understand what you are comfortable with-whatever his motive. Link to post Share on other sites
Outsider77 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Yes, he is trying to get in your pants. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobibble Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Please don't do anything... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 No. Just No. He isn't looking for a "friend." Also, this man qualifies as a senior citizen in some places. Think about that. Most importantly, he is married. Don't be that girl. Not cool at all. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Christ......19 and 55+? Mother of god.... Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Very creepy, please be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AHT Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 How can you all be so sure?? And why does he take it so slow then? does he wait for me to do something concrete? I'm attracted to him..... More background info if it helps to answer.... Please answer because I'm really confused over this. I had him as a teacher two years as total. The first year he was just a "normal" teacher to me, he often said my work was good etc., but nothing flirty or so. In the autumn 2012 he asked me if I wanted to read his courses (which we should have next year) before the others. I said I wanted that. Reading courses before the others led to more alone time with him plus we had contact by e-mail (his private e-mail) during that summer, e-mailed a lot about random stuff, not just school. In the autumn I also got him as my tutor for project work. All this led to some alone meetings + we discovered that we've got a lot of common interests in specific subjects. Which led to a lot of meetings. He started to hug me etc. During the winter/beginning of spring and since then we talked very often, like almost every week, for some time in his office. And he always hugged me etc. - but only when the door to his office was closed, never in the corridor or something, and even for instance when I just went to ask him a question in like 5 minutes or handed in an exam at his office. We also often read and comment poetry, sayings etc together at his office. (Which he has said him and his wife used to do before they had kids...). He also gave me a present once, a gift check on books - after I said no when he said he wanted to give me money because I let him copy some pages from a book I've got. Another time wanted us to stay and talk despite the fact that the firealarm went on, which we did - and he joked a little about how "hot" it was in the room. Then during the spring it escalate, I think - with lots of hugs in a row, hand on waist often as respons for intance if I placed a hand on his shoulder, he also said several times we should keep contact after I graduated, he took my hands etc. And for instance one time about 5-6 hugs and we both almost started to "laugh" about it. He got red in his face, smiled very big, bit his lip etc. He also often/or at least sometimes places his hand around his belt after hugging or between hugs? A bit werid, or it's nothing. The last time we meet at his office, some days before the graduation, I asked him if he wanted to take a coffee or something some time. He said he wanted that, smiling a lot. That "meeting" in his office were about 5-10 minutes maybe, and almost during the whole time he held my hand/hands - which was a bit weird? and hugged me as usual, close. I answered, as always. And well... then we e-mailed a little and decided to take the coffee in the autumn. At first we said in the city. Then when the autumn closed in on I said he could choose if he wanted to take the coffee at my apartment or in the city. (I had before that told him that I've moved to my apartment (before I lived with parents)). What do you think??? Link to post Share on other sites
Outsider77 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 He's definitely attracted to you. Most men that age don't have many options when it comes to sex, especially with a teenager. I have no idea why you would be attracted to a creepy old man. It's not like there aren't enough of them out there to go around. As for what I think, I think it's morally wrong to have an affair with someone who is married or in a serious relationship. Especially if the person has kids. I'm sure his wife has no idea. However, that's just my opinion. Treat others the way you want to be treated. But lots of people don't abide by that or have any moral code so do what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 What more do you want to know? You are on the road to an affair. You know it and he knows it. So just go ahead and continue as you are. You're not stupid about what's going on. You're looking for someone to give you the go ahead. So here I am. Go ahead. Others have told you to stay away but you're providing more excuses and justifications for your actions. You're both being inappropriate. Normal teachers don't act that way and you know it. You're 19, not 9. You know the score. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Don't let his guy use you. Do you have a boyfriend? Have you had sex before? Do you know what it's like to be in a relationship with a married man? Do you invision something special between you? Are you willing to have to share him with another woman? Hell I'm 49 and I think 55 is old! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts