jagon Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 So I've known this person for over a year and she and I have always enjoyed each others company as friends esp when alone, she's straight but I feel like she definately would "go there" with me. It's almost like it's imprinted into my soul, I can feel her fear too though as well. And it's her fear that wins. And her common sense. My feelings for her are pretty hard out, there's something intense about us when we're together, it's like we just want to reach out to each other but always pull back. We share secrets, songs we love, and pictures we like. We get touchy when we're with each other lol.. I recently broke up with a partner and it was not a good relationship, and towards the end I confided in this person (her) and she knew that I was being mistreated and was very kind to me. We spent time together and it felt really good, and she would start to get aroused and then just shut down all of a sudden completely. I know she's been hurt and I think it has damaged her deeply, and also she told me that although she's straight she has had an affair with a female a few years back. HELP ME PEOPLE, I STUPIDLY TOLD HER I LIKED HER She was all shocked and grinning, even said that she wouldn't push me away or avoid me, but she isn't replying to my messages. So I teased her by saying to her "It's ok, if you were considering avoiding me, don't worry I'm over my ridiculous crush" which is sooo obviously not true that its funny. She replied and it was ok, and then she just didn't bother replying to me when i sent her a message, and I don't know if I'm supposed to be all NC !!! NC !!! NC !! But that will be borderline impossible for me.. I don't often get this kind of feeling, and with her it's even more intense. She drives me insane. What the hell do I do to keep contact with her without seeming like I'm trying to get with her even though I am?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagon Posted October 21, 2013 Author Share Posted October 21, 2013 just want to add that I'm 25 and she's 33 and we are both good looking, except she's feminine and i'm a total boi.. Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 So you're a lesbian, right? I really wouldn't get my hopes up. Yeah it's true that there are some girls that swing both ways, but then she would have replied to your signals and messages. I think you might be "feeling" things that are based more on your wishes than anything else. If she can't see herself with a girl, she can't. Fear doesn't have to have that much to do with it. At her age, 33 she might also be thinking about kids more, which complicates things. Moving on, without trying to just stay friends, would probably be best for you in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagon Posted October 21, 2013 Author Share Posted October 21, 2013 Yeah It's not a friendship I ever want to lose and I fear I already have. Another part of me is saying that I'm being unfair by not having more faith in the bond we already had/have and that we just need some time out with NC.. which is my current active decision = to leave her alone She did just send me a message saying that she's glad I'm ok and that she'll see me soon with a lot of these !!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah.. even more confused now.. OH MAN I have it BAD for this chick. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH... Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Being friends with somebody you have a crush on... Sure it's a good idea? We've all probably been there, and its usually a sure road for more heart ache... Well best of luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagon Posted October 21, 2013 Author Share Posted October 21, 2013 We were friends before the crush.. and that will fade.. .. just don't want to lose such a good friend over something stupid!! :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Geoff756 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Yep it looks like you lost her as a friend. The exact same thing happened to me except I'm a guy and she is a girl. Was best, best friends with this girl for years. Told her I liked her. She said she didn't want relationship and we could pretend I never said that. Tried it, but she changed. Wouldn't hang out anymore. Wouldn't talk anymore. Confronted her and she told me I "messed everything up." We're no longer friends, after being best friends for years. I shoulda kept my mouth shut. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jagon Posted November 2, 2013 Author Share Posted November 2, 2013 Guess what... She's keen.. :D So maybe sometimes.. it can happen ... Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 So maybe she is open to a relationship, but is not comfortable being "out." A public friendship with a someone who is out would lead to uncomfortable questions. So for the relationship to warm, the public friendship may have to cool. Link to post Share on other sites
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