JPMC Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 My sister is going through a tough divorce and it's just about over. Calls me up and tells me about this great guy she met and he's so spiritual, sensitive etc. He's highly successful in business. I'm thinking, "Great!, I'm glad you met someone." Then I learn about the guys past. He's 50, has a daughter who's 19. 1.Married twice, First wife cheated. Second wife he married because she had cancer and needed benefits 2. Engaged one other time to a bi-polar woman 3. Last woman he dated had anger issues and dumped him He told her "he'd never leave her." She's eating this guy up hook, line and sinker. I told her he dates damaged woman and tries to save them. He is playing the victim and martyr. He also gets out of relationships with no blood on his hand. I told her his self esteem is so low, he needs these relationships to validate himself. And he's a complete sociopath. She has stopped speaking to me. Am I right on this? Link to post Share on other sites
ConstantVoyager Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Why rip on his BP ex? Nothing is listed except for the fact that she was dealing with mental illness. That said, your sister should run far and fast from this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
odin673 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Some men are attracted to women that are in trouble. He is definitely looking to "save" your sister based on his previous relatuonships. This does not make him a bad person. I think calling him a sociopath is going way too far. Where did you get that from? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 IDK does the woman come off worse for wear from dating a white knight. Seems to me the white knight lessens the load for them and takes onboard and shares the load of the crap in their life. Rescues them. Why would that be such a a bad deal for your sister. I dont get how you brand this guy a sociopath....can you explain how this guy gets that diagnosis. Were the women in his life used and dumped in his wake while he went on to his next vicitim? Seems he got used & dumped more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JPMC Posted October 21, 2013 Author Share Posted October 21, 2013 She was bi-polar, if someone is like that why would you get involved with her? It's not like they got engaged and she was bi-polar. Maybe I'm being protective after her lousy marriage, but she complains that it's all about him. He constantly talks about himself, and all the good things he's done. It's as if he validates himself through this. Her biggest complaint is, he never asks her questions. It seems a little self absorbed. Link to post Share on other sites
ConstantVoyager Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 She was bi-polar, if someone is like that why would you get involved with her? It's not like they got engaged and she was bi-polar. Maybe I'm being protective after her lousy marriage, but she complains that it's all about him. He constantly talks about himself, and all the good things he's done. It's as if he validates himself through this. Her biggest complaint is, he never asks her questions. It seems a little self absorbed. I'm BP. Total stable on meds and in a great relationship. People just casting aside others because they have a mental illness is a pet peeve of mine. You mentioned a disease she has, not any unstable behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 To be frank, it sounds like you are the one with a preconceived idea of who he is, with judgements to boot! What I don't understand is that you leapt to the conclusion that he is dating damaged women and using that as validation for his own mental illness. What? I understand that you may be privy to information that lead you to this conclusion, but please be aware that in order to relate or give sound advice, we need to know what the hell you're talking about. Talking about someone's past relationships and how he .....saved them for the time being....doesn't sound like a sociopath to me. Sounds like a good hearted guy. The fact that he is 50 just goes to show he also grew up in the era that chivalry was DESIRED. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 It's personally embarrassing when your sister starts running around with an elderly cuck but I don't see anything really wrong with him. If he is good in business at least she'll be taken care of. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 White Knight Syndrome How Has It Worked Out? I white knight my good male friends who are going through tough times. I can't recall a woman who's been there for me so those decades are over. So, I guess it's worked out lousy, with women anyway, relevant to anything anywhere remotely approaching a healthy balance of any sort of friendship. Bzzt, fail. Link to post Share on other sites
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