Lukeson Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 (edited) My girlfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. She's fantastic. There is nothing she wouldn't do for me. We met at and continue to work at the same place. Were very similar in our interests and lifestyles both in our mid twenties. After a few months with my gf, a new girl started in the work place, late teens but acts much older. We instantly became close friends, able to confide in each other about practically anything. We would often as a group go for drinks "the whole work gang". Eventually this led to me and my new friend just going once weekly just the two of us. It was very obvious, to each other, there were intimate feelings however we initially fought off any temptation. However after only a couple of weeks meeting up temptation got the better and we kissed. Over the following 4-6 weeks this led up to us sleeping together, twice. We both knew it was wrong and would openly talk about how we felt regarding the situation. I told her from the word go couldn't leave my gf for her and she accepted this. Last night we met up for the first time in a couple of weeks and she told me it couldn't continue. She and another guy from work (also in the group of friends) are getting close. She said the guilt over my cheating was getting to her and would like to give it a go with this other guy. I feel completely devastated to be losing this girl to another guy but know she deserves so much more than what I have been prepared to give her. I feel if I broke up with my current gf this other guy wouldn't even get a look in. But then I go back to how wonderful my current gf is. How breaking up with her would absolutely crush her. Ultimately I know the right thing is to let this other girl go and probably confess to my gf about what had happened. Me and the other girl have spoken of how keen we are for our friendship to remain even after stopping seeing other. This however just makes confessing to my gf even more complex. If I were to tell her it could ruin not just the two girls employment but also the innocent lad. No one knows of our intimacy and we have both agreed not to speak of it to anyone else but I've always despised cheaters and felt the victim has a right to know. This is the first time I have ever cheated. Should I tell her? I feel if I do I'm only relieving myself of guilt, pushing pain on to her. Edited October 22, 2013 by Lukeson Clarification Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Let your girlfriend go. She deserves to be with a man who can keep it in his pants. You've learned the hard way that you can't really have your cake and it, too. Stay single for a while and don't expect the other girl to come running to you. You're not ready for a committed relationship. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Guys like you are dime a dozen. I'm sure breaking up wouldn't crush your gf, she'd find someone who actually loves her faster than you could blink your eyes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Outsider77 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 If you're actually even thinking about breaking up with your gf for this girl, then do her the favor of actually breaking up with her so she can find someone who's going to be faithful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MercuryMorrison1 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) I'll tell it to you straight. You're an @sshole. And you're girlfriend deserves more than what you have to offer. She needs a man, and you're obviously still a just a boy. Normally I try not to insult and give constructive advice...But there is no excuse for people like you. Unless a gun is being held to your head and your life is immediately threatened then there is no excuse for cheating, the end. If you even want to remotely do the right thing here you will confess your @ssholeishniss to your girlfriend and then leave her so she can find someone who will do right by her. Edited October 24, 2013 by MercuryMorrison1 Link to post Share on other sites
ffsear Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Your a weak and insecure little boy! Do her a favor! Break up with her. Link to post Share on other sites
campfire Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 As I read your post I got more and more pissed off. Your story of cheating is very similar to how my girlfriend cheated on me. Had she had the balls to confess right away it would have made reconcilation between us easier by far. You are being selfish. And when your girlfriend finds out she will be pissed not only because of your cheating but because you lied straight to her face afterwards. Your chance of keeping your girlfriend is decreasing as the days goes by with you lying to her. Confess. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Your a weak and insecure little boy! Do her a favor! Break up with her. I wouldn't worry about it. I don't believe one word of his story, Link to post Share on other sites
DannyCA Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Hey man sounds like you knew exactly what you were doing. I think it may be best to tell your gf what you did and let her figure out what she wants. To me it sounds like you are not ready or mature enough to be in a committed relationship. You should consider taking some time off from any exclusive relationships to figure out what you want and that way you can be with any other single women out there and not be cheating like you were. I don't know if your story is true or not, but regardless, it is one of the most ridiculous stories I have ever heard. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 You titled your thread with a big smiley face next to "Cheated on GF with a friend." I feel so sorry for your girlfriend. Every night she goes to bed completely ignorant of the douche that's in her life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
painfullyobvious Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 You have got a negative reaction which is to be expected here perhaps this is what you want. Honestly you need to fess up with your girlfriend and if she agrees to stay with her and you her there is môre trouble ahead. You managed to make your work environment chaotic that you will have to leave your job. Your girlfriend will be uncomfortable with you near the person you stepped out with, you will not want to see the girl you are emotionally attached with somone else and this ads dysfunction to professional relationships. You made yourself quite an uncomfortable bed to lie on. Time to start cleaning and aviod going out with members of the opposite sex routinely. It just adds fuel to the fire especially if you feel attraction. Learn from this experience Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Break up with her. Don't mention the cheating. Let her think you're an a**hole, let her get mad, sad, cry, all that stuff. Just tell her you and her aren't right together, and that you need time to yourself. The least you could do at this point, in my opinion. You've so thoroughly screwed the relationship up (at only 10 months!) that the best possible thing you could do now is BREAK UP WELL. So break up, in person, and let her react however she will. It's the best for you both. Link to post Share on other sites
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