Tony T Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 If you had not been intimate, a friendship may have worked out very nice. By having sex with her you lost all credibility as a friend, since a friend would have greatly encouraged her to heal her relationship and helped her in that direction rather than taking advantage of her vulnerability. Since you were her friend and she had confided details of her marriage problems to you, you used this knowledge to go for the kill. She must share the blame as well...she may have planned to seduce you all the while as a grudge thing. If her marriage doesn't work out and eventually fairs, if you are a true friend, you will give her some time to heal and then encourage her to date around before making any kind of permanent decision on a new relationship. Intimacy changes the whole ballgame of friendship. Because this has happened, you are best served by backing off until she has time to work on her marriage. The kind of friendship you had prior to the sex may never return. It's kind of sad because good friends are hard to find. Don't feel bad. I had a friend whose wife had an affair with a minister from whom she sought counsel about her failing marriage. It happens all the time with all kinds of people. She says she wants to keep seeing you as a friend, but what she may want is a playmate on the side...or someone in reserve in case her marriage ultimately poops out. Your agenda would probably not be a 100 percent friends thing either. So this would not be a quality friendship anyway. Go find yourself a nice, available unmarried lady who is not having personal issues at this time. You will have lots less problems yourself all the way around with that type of situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tony T Posted January 15, 2001 Author Share Posted January 15, 2001 As sometimes happens, the person who posted the original request for advice has removed it, leaving my reply dangling above. Basically, the poster had been friends with a married woman. They got closer and were intimate during a troubled time in her marriage. She subsequently sought help and decided to give her marriage another whirl. The poster was seeking advice on what to do with his relationship with this woman...and the above was my answer. I have no idea why he removed the original post...or maybe I really do and just don't want to say. Link to post Share on other sites
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