Author HeartInPieces Posted December 9, 2013 Author Share Posted December 9, 2013 Didn't want to start a new thread so to provide an update I've pretty much stopped contacting her and am almost giving up any hope of reconciliation at this point. Girlfriend of five years reached out to me (three times) on Thanksgiving, which I ignored. She then contacted me (text msg) a few days ago letting me know she renewed a mutual membership we had. wtf? Not sure why she would do that, but I didn't respond. This is all after we talked recently and she said that she just wants to be friends and that she wants me to move on and be happy. I told her I can't be her friend and we both agreed that there was nothing more to talk about. So why is she still contacting me? Link to post Share on other sites
tiredofitall2 Posted December 9, 2013 Share Posted December 9, 2013 Because she can't let go. Just email her and be honest about your feelings. Tell her that you need to maintain NC in order for you to heal. You don't want the R to end but since that is her choice she needs to respect your decision to be left alone in order for you to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartInPieces Posted December 9, 2013 Author Share Posted December 9, 2013 She knows how I feel, she knows that I still love her. She tried to be my friend and I cut it off because that's not what I want. I haven't said a word to her since (over two weeks ago i think). I just don't understand why she would continue this if she doesn't want me back. ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
justletgo07 Posted December 9, 2013 Share Posted December 9, 2013 (edited) I am confused why you are confused. You got upset with her and pushed her to the point of not talking to you anymore, then 3 weeks later you break NC, and now you're upset that she's contacting you. It is because you contacted her that she's contacting you again. Your messages made it seem like "No hard feelings! I'm fine and everything is great between us! I'm ok with us being broken up!" You were hoping you'd reach out and she'd tell you the 3 weeks of not talking was killing her and she was so glad that you finally reached out. You were hoping that in that time she had changed her mind, seen your worth, and hopes you never go NC on her again. I get it, but that clearly did not happen. All her messages mean is that she thinks of you fondly and enjoys talking to you. Essentially, she is just fine with how things are between you right now. You could just be honest with her and tell her that you thought you were ready to talk to her again, but it turns out you aren't (oops) and just bow out. Or you can just stop responding to her and she'll get the message. OR if you think you can be her friend with no ulterior motive (my sense is you're not there yet), then do that. Just remember, she doesn't owe you anything and she's not doing anything to you now. You're choosing to stay in a situation in which you are uncomfortable, and that's on you I'm afraid. Edited December 9, 2013 by justletgo07 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartInPieces Posted December 10, 2013 Author Share Posted December 10, 2013 I am confused why you are confused. You got upset with her and pushed her to the point of not talking to you anymore, then 3 weeks later you break NC, and now you're upset that she's contacting you. It is because you contacted her that she's contacting you again. Your messages made it seem like "No hard feelings! I'm fine and everything is great between us! I'm ok with us being broken up!" You were hoping you'd reach out and she'd tell you the 3 weeks of not talking was killing her and she was so glad that you finally reached out. You were hoping that in that time she had changed her mind, seen your worth, and hopes you never go NC on her again. I get it, but that clearly did not happen. All her messages mean is that she thinks of you fondly and enjoys talking to you. Essentially, she is just fine with how things are between you right now. You could just be honest with her and tell her that you thought you were ready to talk to her again, but it turns out you aren't (oops) and just bow out. Or you can just stop responding to her and she'll get the message. OR if you think you can be her friend with no ulterior motive (my sense is you're not there yet), then do that. Just remember, she doesn't owe you anything and she's not doing anything to you now. You're choosing to stay in a situation in which you are uncomfortable, and that's on you I'm afraid. Yeah, this sums it up pretty well actually. Hadn't thought of it in some of those terms. I really have nothing more to say to her at this point. She knows how I feel about her since the last times we talked. At least I hope she does. I'm not ready to be her friend and she knows this. I made it clear. She even acknowledged it after I talked about the past "us" - so why won't she leave me alone? Link to post Share on other sites
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