neveragain Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 What should i do, i have loved someone for almost a year, knowing that they would never be with me always, yet i still had a glimmer of hope thinking one day he will love me to. we did everything together even slept together-yet he can not love me, as he Told me the other night, "i don't see my self with you, you are not my type, and i don't know what i am looking for, i am still young" I knew all this but it still hurts, i have never found anyone to be so perfect i have not found anything wrong with him, just that i have no chance with him. I don't want any other guy friends there is no one to replace him i would do anything for him. i now try and tell my self he is not worth it but it is really not working. what do i do? next day::::: i really still want to be with him, I wrote him a long letter and actually gave it to him today, i don't know if it is better, but i think it would be better if he made any sort of response to the letter. he didn;t say anything. not yesterday but the day before i really got mad at him i wanted to know how long it would take for him to call, not long at all he called yesterday. I still think that there is hope, he is still tempting me(giving me hope). i will just wait, that is all i can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamsin Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 This is a really sad post. I really feel for you. I've been where you are right now and I know how it hurts. Everybody who cared about me told me to get over him, you cannot get on with your life and find someone who will want you, until you cut the guy off completely. Of course I didnt. I kept clinging on there, hoping that one day he'd change his mind and want me and care about me. Let me tell you this now. It never happens. Maybe in teenage made-for-tv series or teen flick movies, but very rarely in real life. This guy is taking you for a ride. He's very aware of how you feel about him and he's using this to get what he wants out of the situation and no more. Really he is just a selfish little boy who is not considering how much he is hurting you. He likes your attention and your affection and he will carry on with the situation for as long as you let it. Think about it. Here's a girl who has made no secret of the fact that she has deep feelings for him and wants him badly, yet at the same time she accepts the situation as friends and has sex with him occasionally. O.K, what guy is not going to let this situation go on as is?! He gets everything - flattered by attention, a fallback friend, and of course sex - and gets to control the entire situation. What do you get? A broken heart is all. He has told you "I don't see myself with you..etc..". You have chosen to ignore this. You really can't complain when he's put it out there in the open. Once he's told you that and you still choose to hang in there, then you've accepted it in his mind (the whole situation). Most likely, he sees no problem because he's been honest with you. So just to finish up, please give up on this guy. There are so many men out there that could make you happy - if you just give them a chance. Don't close your mind to these other guys. Close your mind to this guy who is just feeding off your adoration. As one who has been there, you see the situation for what it was so clearly once you're out of it. You will too, good luck and god bless. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 This guy has absolutely made it perfectly clear that this is NOT going to be a happening thing and..to quote YOU, he told you: ""i don't see my self with you, you are not my type, and i don't know what i am looking for, i am still young"" What more do you want??? You really don't understand. A sickening letter from a desperate wannabee lover will only alienate him further. It will certainly piss him off. But put yourself in his shoes...if you got such a letter from a guy, would it change your feelings or make you sick yourself? Women are always wanting guys to be honest. There is no way this guy could be more honest. And now, after telling you basically that you aren't much more than a temporary companion (you aren't his type, he doesn't see himself with you) and a sexual partner, how can he have respect for you if you just stick around. I think you need some counselling to help you learn what good, healthy relationships are all about. Your self-respect and self esteem must be built to a point where you can walk away from this thing. You are really being used here...you have basically been told this...and you want to waste precious years of your life in this sick situation. I know you wanted hope but right now, there is none. HE HAS BASICALLY TOLD YOU. Why is it that when men do this, ladies get so pissed off and down on men...but when women are the lovesick pup...it's perfectly OK. Well it isn't. You have got to get yourself together and understand there are a lot of men out there for whom you WOULD BE THERE TYPE and you could have a great relationship. What you're in now is in the top ten percent of sick, unhealthy relationships. And the longer you stick around, the MORE you will not be his type and the LESS respect he will have for you...if he has any at all at this point. Now, if you want my credentials for answering this question, I can tell you that in my younger days...I was in exactly the same situation three (3) times and I was in your position, not his, although I am a male. The girl made all the stuff your guy has told you perfectly clear to me. But I was just too lame-brained to listen. Yes, I would get a glimmer of hope here and there...but it was just stuff I manufactured in my mind. Waiting around for somebody to fall in love with you is worse than waiting to win the lottery. Your chances are better getting the cash...take my word for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 15, 2001 Share Posted January 15, 2001 Tamsin is right on the mark in every way. She tells it just like it is. This is being forthright and honest. There isn't enough money that could pay for this information with is set for here absolutely FREE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nic Posted January 16, 2001 Share Posted January 16, 2001 What should i do, i have loved someone for almost a year, knowing that they would never be with me always, yet i still had a glimmer of hope thinking one day he will love me to. we did everything together even slept together-yet he can not love me, as he Told me the other night, "i don't see my self with you, you are not my type, and i don't know what i am looking for, i am still young" I knew all this but it still hurts, i have never found anyone to be so perfect i have not found anything wrong with him, just that i have no chance with him. I don't want any other guy friends there is no one to replace him i would do anything for him. i now try and tell my self he is not worth it but it is really not working. what do i do? next day::::: i really still want to be with him, I wrote him a long letter and actually gave it to him today, i don't know if it is better, but i think it would be better if he made any sort of response to the letter. he didn;t say anything. not yesterday but the day before i really got mad at him i wanted to know how long it would take for him to call, not long at all he called yesterday. I still think that there is hope, he is still tempting me(giving me hope). i will just wait, that is all i can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Nic Posted January 16, 2001 Share Posted January 16, 2001 .....i posted a nice, well thought out message and it didn't work! humph!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 16, 2001 Share Posted January 16, 2001 It's the thought that really counts. At least you gave it a good try!!! Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain Posted January 16, 2001 Share Posted January 16, 2001 ok i forgot to mention one key factor, this guy says he does care about me, and could fall in love with me one day but(he doesn't want too let himself fall in love, i really think that he is afraid to) he needs to live a little and see what life is about, he also made a stupid excuse for not being able to love me, my family, (they are pretty uptight) he also needs to be babyed, we talked long ago that when his dad moves back to his own house i would move in, he even said that if i did he would probably fall for me, you know spending so much time together. but just resently he said "if you move in with me that in no way means we are getting married" I really am confused because he said that then he says that i am good for him and he should be lucky to have found someone like me. and everyone thank you for writing back i have never posted a message in my life and i think it is great everyone helping each other, there really are good people left in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts