How to forgive yourself?

[Independentanswers]

How do I forgive myself? I treated her like a princess... But also like a douche. I would pay for dinner, movies, flowers, presents and always put her needs above my own. Though... I have had some large self asteem issues. I made up white lies but when I came clean because I was improveing.. Guess what? I left out a little detail that did not matter... After some weeks she broke up with me. She just saw me as a friend. Now I still regretting lying, and I will never do that again. I have really improved as a person but I still feel really bad about telling only 99% of the truth. She sayes I was an amazing person, loveable, handsome and so on... And I will make a girl the happiest on earth.

How can I forgive my self? She seems to have moved on and she does not hate me at all... But I still feel sad over this. I do not want to contact her as I am

Doing NC. I never wanted her to go but I want her to be happy more than anything and that requires that I do not contact her. I will always love her, but I must find a girl so I can burry those feelings I did not even beg her to stay... I just told her "if that is what is necessary for you to be happy then it is alright. I do not hate you"

 

Please give me some advice to forgive myself!

[Philosoraptor]

Understand that the past can not be changed, and beating yourself up won't help you in the future. Make a goal to be better and more honest in the future, and put a plan into place to make it happen. That's all you can do.

[Ninjainpajamas]

If she let you go then she was done, don't beat yourself up over the small details because in the end it wouldn't have made a difference.

 

What you're doing right now is trying to make yourself overly responsible and accountable for the things that went wrong, so you can beat yourself up over it and feel like it was entirely your fault and then try to "fix that".

 

In reality, realize that your perception is yours only...emotionally she sounds like she checked out...you're going to make mistakes, you're going to have a few loves lost in your life, but trust me...it's for the best, shet ends for a reason...there is no benefit for destroying yourself with the burden of that guilt, she's not going to care or hold it against you, women move on and eventually let go....they bury things deep or completely detach, the reason this relationship really ended was very likely her lack of emotions for you.

 

So don't get up all in arms and feel guilty about things, in reality you're not doing much worse than a lot of other guys out there, it's all a learning experience and do your best to take those lessons and move forward...looking back is only going to leave you emotionally attached to some past emotions and you'll never move forward, this is just another way of your insecurities manifesting themselves...don't attribute so much to love and emotions, most of what people are doing out there are from their personal problems.

 

You've got to be really honest and straight-forward with yourself in order to move on with your issues, you focusing on this past relationship is just another distraction from that.