Author Mount Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 What do you mean by blindsiding her or me? Yes I extremely dislike that fact MM did not give me hint or notice whole day that his MM would come along. Also I strongly feel that it is not MM's first affair even though I questioned MM again and again, but of course no proof from history anyway. Mount, I am not going to kick you while you are down, so I will just focus on him....what a jerk, how horrible can one be to another, what in the world was he thinking...and although I am a BS I would never dream of doing what they did to someone unless I knew for sure she was being a bunny boiler, does not sound like that was the case with you. It sounded mutual to me. In my situation the OW continues to harass both of us...but I tell you never, not once would we consider blindsiding her like that...that's unwarranted drama...we have pursued legal avenues to deal with it. I guess I do not understand being intentionally cruel to people. Peace and strength to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Very well said. You did not the MM's face, like a frozen statue, reciting the script "I choose to stay with my wife...etc", then the wife talked. At that moment I was just be civil and can't wait them finishing their speech and then sweeped them out of my door. The wife should have a leash on her husband, or at least on his pants. Blindsiding you..I don't believe two wrongs make a right. I also believe reconciliation to be a personal thing between spouses...I do not believe in nuke and pave...I do not believe in humiliation....I would not need to humiliate her or my husband for him to prove himself to me...see that's the point, it's about me and him...not wrecking her...I don't get it.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 As I have no intention contacting MM, obviously so does MM, I really don't know what happened since last communication after I gave MM the ultimatum, what made MM bring his wife to my place without me knowing first. It hurts that if MM chooses to do so, or less hurting if wife forced him to do that. I'm sorry you are hurt and searching for answers Mount. I believe you have your answer. He isn't the man you thought he was. It would be impossible for me to respect anything about him at this point - much less trust him. He screwed you over big time in June - and this is just - even more horrible. I wouldn't give him another thought. The him you believed he was - doesn't exist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 No, I never wanted to see MM's wife at all, I am never interested in drama. Also I already told MM I wanted to end the A, and then MM/wife those statment was for what? I had a similar experience. When I told BS she later told me she wanted to see me with MM. I said no, I would meet her alone. She refused. She basically wanted him to do that to me I am sure of it. Gun to head and cruel. Keep your man at any cost. Mummy takes son to see nice lady ''Apologise to the nice lady for breaking her windows son lol'' I don't feel bad for her now and you shouldn't feel bad as he will lose his balls living such a life. Of course we all know what happens under duress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Mount - Why would your MM end it - when he gets BOTH of you? It's obvious he wouldn't end HER and he wouldn't end YOU. He intended to have BOTH. Now his wife is in charge and has made the decision FOR him - poor baby... Poor helpless baby. She took his candy away and now he gets his punishment. She has marked her territory and intends for you to stay away. That's about what it amounts to - because he is such a baby that he didn't choose just one - he was greedy and thought he could get away with having both kinds of candy without any solid demands or consequences. NOW - she's in the drivers seat. He's going to go along with the ride she maps out! I hope you step away and come to realize what a baby he is - and how broken he is - and that he wasn't offering to be a MAN in your life. He isn't capable. He needs his Mommy. Seems pathetic a weak. You deserve SO much more than that Mount. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Which "she" you meant to say? The wife or me? Also I kind of agree with you about your comment as well. NOW - she's in the drivers seat. He's going to go along with the ride she maps out! Why does everyone assume he did not want to play the role he did and it was the evil BS that made him do it. This man has a history of being a jerk. He could have tipped Mount off but chose not to- he could have left his wife and went with Mount but he chose not to-he could have left his wife over her insisting he do this and gone out on his own but he chose not to-the point is both the MM and BS chose to do something cruel and unnecessary to Mount-stop blame shifting and see it for what it was- a cruel act but certainly not one that MM did not willingly participate in-he had choices and chose to be a jerk- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Unless MM is comatose he was a willing participant. See it for what it is. Taking him back after he left 24 hours after moving in with you made you a doormat in his eyes. Is this how you want to be viewed? There is a difference between having your fun with no expectations... and a complete other expecting him to leave, having him physically leave, then continuing the A after he rejects you and goes back to BW. Gain your power and respect back by going NC. Nothing can/should make this right for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Confusion_Reigns Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 No matter the reasons the facts remain the same. Really, you can wonder and ponder until the end of time and you'll never truly know why they chose to behave this way. Whatever the reasons they need to live with the outcomes that that choice brought into their lives. Do you think he'll try to contact you again? What will you do if that happens? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 Bring MM back his MAMA I guess. No matter the reasons the facts remain the same. Really, you can wonder and ponder until the end of time and you'll never truly know why they chose to behave this way. Whatever the reasons they need to live with the outcomes that that choice brought into their lives. Do you think he'll try to contact you again? What will you do if that happens? Link to post Share on other sites
Confusion_Reigns Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Right! I'd probably laugh my a** off AT the idiocy of his lameness....but that's just me Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 (edited) Has he tried to contact you Mount? Edited October 26, 2013 by beach 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 We did not have contact at all, even at work, zero contact. Until today I receive his email (work related), that meant to send to someone else. And a second email from him, saying sorry to send me the wrong email that meant to someone else. I still did not reply. It seems to be easier than last time, somehow I did not have those emotional sad feeling about breaking up the A with him. I wonder whether because before this d-day 2 I already requested to break up proactively, that I already wanted to let him go. Has he tried to contact you Mount? Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 I think he was phishing - to see IF you would step in... Good job not replying! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 I don't know or don't care if he is phishing or not, not replying is no big deal, because the most important is that, it seems that my "fever" over him is gone - not sure if you know what I meant. I think he was phishing - to see IF you would step in... Good job not replying! Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 I don't know or don't care if he is phishing or not, not replying is no big deal, because the most important is that, it seems that my "fever" over him is gone - not sure if you know what I meant. Yes, I get that. And since you're getting to a place of not caring - that is progress. Good for you! Now you can get busy moving forward and consider an available man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted November 6, 2013 Author Share Posted November 6, 2013 The only drawback is that even though we had the premise that I wanted to break it off with MM, then MM with his wife had the drama showing up at my place. Now it seems that MM made the false countercharge in advance at workplace, claiming I convinced him to marry me. How to deal with this? Yes, I get that. And since you're getting to a place of not caring - that is progress. Good for you! Now you can get busy moving forward and consider an available man. Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 The only drawback is that even though we had the premise that I wanted to break it off with MM, then MM with his wife had the drama showing up at my place. Now it seems that MM made the false countercharge in advance at workplace, claiming I convinced him to marry me. How to deal with this? LOL He's saying you convinced a married man to marry you? DAMN you must have some power. Can I borrow some for a bit? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 LOL He's saying you convinced a married man to marry you? DAMN you must have some power. Can I borrow some for a bit? Isn't that an oxymoron? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 The only drawback is that even though we had the premise that I wanted to break it off with MM, then MM with his wife had the drama showing up at my place. Now it seems that MM made the false countercharge in advance at workplace, claiming I convinced him to marry me. How to deal with this? Isn't it just one more of his lies? If it is - it just provides more evidence of how much he lies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted November 7, 2013 Author Share Posted November 7, 2013 No, sorry I was typing in a rush. What I tried to say is (I guess), after he and his wife had the drama or so-call confrontation at my place, he must think I would be very angry, so he must think I will report him at workplace first...etc. That is why he might already talk to some people in company, that I "chased" him, and wanted to marry him thus asked him to divorce his wife. Even though the reality was I wanted to break with him first. Also the truth is that I didn't open my lips at all, I keep my mouth shut till today. However if he did bad mouth me first at workplace, painting me as a desperate OW image first, how to deal with it. LOL He's saying you convinced a married man to marry you? DAMN you must have some power. Can I borrow some for a bit? Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 No, sorry I was typing in a rush. What I tried to say is (I guess), after he and his wife had the drama or so-call confrontation at my place, he must think I would be very angry, so he must think I will report him at workplace first...etc. That is why he might already talk to some people in company, that I "chased" him, and wanted to marry him thus asked him to divorce his wife. Even though the reality was I wanted to break with him first. Also the truth is that I didn't open my lips at all, I keep my mouth shut till today. However if he did bad mouth me first at workplace, painting me as a desperate OW image first, how to deal with it. That is a hard one. You can deny it yet some people will still choose to believe him. Why in the world would he tell people at work? Oh..unless he is saying you were obsessed and chasing him. The only way to prove he is lying is to show an email or chat message he wrote. What an ugly thing for him to do to you. The workplace is the last place any of it should be discussed at. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted November 7, 2013 Share Posted November 7, 2013 I don't know or don't care if he is phishing or not, not replying is no big deal, because the most important is that, it seems that my "fever" over him is gone - not sure if you know what I meant. I think what you have hit is indifference. Its such a great place to be. When we truly don't care, we don't care. Nothing they do, can elicit an emotional response. Not worth our emotions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Have been NC for almost 20 days...I feel like in company people might gossip behind my back but I tried to ignore. It does not matter if they do or not, I just do what I usually do. However I really want to know what really happened the day before the confrontation, what made him to bring his wife to "surprise" me like that. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Wow, what a creep! It sounds to me like married man was exposed at home somehow (maybe wife caught him messaging or something) and he then told her a pack of lies about you chasing him. Of course, to keep up this pretence, he had to agree to go with her to confront you about your (supposed) harrassment. That he should treat you like this is appalling and shows his true character. I expect his wife was calm because she believed him and she was in the powerful position of 'putting you in your place'. Little does she know, obviously, what a turncoat this guy is behind her back. I'm sorry you have been treated like this. Personally, I feel all married guys who seek relationships outside their marriage are untrustworthy by default (they are lying to their wives), but this guy has treated both of you appallingly. For your own sake, block the guy and make sure he can't re-enter your life in any way. He does not deserve a genuine person at all. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 You don't need to know. Most likely she threatened to divorce him - he begged to do anything if she would keep him - and he agreed to have her confront you with him in tow. I'm sure he agreed to any and all terms she laid down. He's a wimp. Let her have him. He isn't the man you thought he could be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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