has anyone been raped by a woman?

[theothersully]

This is going to be an interesting topic, I think.

 

I had a very unusual experience last winter. I was raped, by a woman. I kid you not.

 

I would never have thought it possible if it didn't happen to me.

 

So I'm in Miami for Ultra... and had a 3 bedroom place there. I had one room, a couple of girls I'm friends with had the other rooms. There were lots of people around... this is Ultra. I'm up very late, out with everyone drinking. This 19 yo girl is kind of trailing me all night. Friend of a friend. She's been flirting hard all week with me. Groping me on the couch in a way other people can't see, jumping on me, etc... I just kinda pushed her off every time. She's not my type. I like the shorter brunettes, extremely petite. This is a 5'5" blonde hair, blue eyes, 120-130 Lbs, fake boob type. Nothing wrong with implants, but the rest of her just isn't for me. No tone or definition and this wasn't relationship time. Looks are all that mattered.

 

Anyway, I'm giving her the push away all week. Then, we are the last two up one night. I'm drunk. She's on Mollies. I go to my room and say good night. She opens my door an comes in after I'm already undressed and passing out.

 

She starts in on me and I push her off (i like a different girl and am kind of a one woman at a time guy for the most part). She won't stop! So I go to the kitchen to get away, giggling, she follows me and drags me with a force I didn't even know a woman could have back to my room.

 

I manage to get her outside the door and me inside, so I lock her out. I get in bed and she breaks the damn door!!! So here she is back in my bed. Drunk, I fought her off from like 3am to 6am while she was acting silly and trying to get me aroused. Finally, the drugs she was on won over the drinking I had been doing. She had super human ability to stay awake and attack me. I passed out and in that fog remember trying to get rid of her, pushing her off me, pleading no, but she never stopped. She worked like crazy to get me up and going and jumped on top, me still saying no and trying to get her off of me, but I was done at 6am... physically exhausted. Can keep up with the youngsters all night, but by 6am, this old man is done!

 

So i got raped. No condom, nothing. That freaked me out. I felt really gross and dirty the next day.

 

After a few days, it became more of a curiosity. I had no idea a man could be raped. I didn't think it was possible. It's not that bad for a guy because after a few days you don't care, but still.

 

So have any men here been raped ??

 

What is the input from women on this?

[todreaminblue]

what happened to you was wrong ....any person who makes another uncomfortable by forcing sex on them ..sexually harrassing them..is stuffed up..not using protection....dangerous......if she has a habit of unprotected sex get tested.....sounds like she would if she is a habitual drug user.....high on uppers.......deb

[theothersully]

It was last winter. (northern hemisphere) About 9 months ago, I got tested then because it freaked me out a bit.

 

But it really isn't as bad for a guy as for a girl I don't think. Not needing sympathy, just curious about thoughts on what I would imagine is a rare thing.

 

I'm also wondering if it's not so rare and has happened to other guys here.

 

She was just taking mollies like most of the people in Miami in March. Not a real drug user. I just don't do drugs. Too old that stuff would mess with my system.

[amaysngrace]

I think that if you're still thinking about it nearly a year later it probably messed you up more than you think.

 

What she did was wrong. And it's been more than a week like you said is all it took to get over it. I don't believe you're over it still or else why bring it up?

 

She violated you. That's not okay.

 

And I'm sorry that she did that to you

[theothersully]

Actually, I'm enjoying this forum so much that I thought I'd share a weird thing and see what we all thought about it... like that age difference thing.

 

I am also really curious if a lot of other guys have had this, but don't mention it.

 

I really don't care anymore. It's not the same for a guy. I stopped feeling bad/violated after about 48 hours. After that, it was disbelief and curiosity.

 

Just something that happened to me I thought I'd share and see if other guys had this happen. No need to be PC with me. It's really not bad for us guys. Just kind of interesting and a curiosity.

 

I think that if you're still thinking about it nearly a year later it probably messed you up more than you think.

 

What she did was wrong. And it's been more than a week like you said is all it took to get over it. I don't believe you're over it still or else why bring it up?

 

She violated you. That's not okay.

 

And I'm sorry that she did that to you

[amaysngrace]

Like I said, you're the one who brought it up. And put a sad face next to the title.

 

That's not being PC. That's being genuine.

 

I don't know if you're really bothered by it or not. I don't know if it even happened and you have an agenda to downplay legitimate rape.

 

Maybe if you were genuine or more PC yourself you'd be more considerate about a topic of such a sensitive nature.

[theothersully]

You are calling me disingenuous? What ever for? I've been very open on this forum. Let's take it easy on the insults, ok?

 

Yes, I am joining forums far and wide to downplay legitimate rape. You caught me.

 

Are you even reading what you are typing? jeez.

 

My opinion is that rape wasn't that big of a deal for me. Gross for a short while, but quickly gotten over. My theory is that it is because I am a man that it is easily gotten over. However, I did not think it could even happen to men.

 

It is my thread and my rape. Where am I being inconsiderate of others?

 

You are the person who walked in and called me disingenuous, inconsiderate and accused me of downplaying ”legitimate rape” as if this isn't? Is that what you are saying?

 

I can feel however I want about *my* rape. You can't force me to feel the same way you do. Jeez.

 

Like I said, you're the one who brought it up. And put a sad face next to the title.

 

That's not being PC. That's being genuine.

 

I don't know if you're really bothered by it or not. I don't know if it even happened and you have an agenda to downplay legitimate rape.

 

Maybe if you were genuine or more PC yourself you'd be more considerate about a topic of such a sensitive nature.

[amaysngrace]

You are calling me disingenuous? What ever for? I've been very open on this forum. Let's take it easy on the insults, ok?

 

Yes, I am joining forums far and wide to downplay legitimate rape. You caught me.

 

Are you even reading what you are typing? jeez.

 

My opinion is that rape wasn't that big of a deal for me. Gross for a short while, but quickly gotten over. My theory is that it is because I am a man that it is easily gotten over. However, I did not think it could even happen to men.

 

It is my thread and my rape. Where am I being inconsiderate of others?

 

You are the person who walked in and called me disingenuous, inconsiderate and accused me of downplaying ”legitimate rape” as if this isn't? Is that what you are saying?

 

I can feel however I want about *my* rape. You can't force me to feel the same way you do. Jeez.

 

I didn't call you disingenuous, you added that.

 

I said I don't know why you'd put a sad face next to the title if you truly aren't still affected by it.

 

When you told me that I don't need to be "PC with you" for adding a sad face of my own along with my sympathies then I questioned just exactly your motives were.

 

As it stands, it's still unclear.

 

It's a sensitive subject for many. You have to at least recognize that. And just because you've chosen to make light of it just to have something to write doesn't mean that it does not trigger others.

[theothersully]

I didn't call you disingenuous, you added that.

 

I said I don't know why you'd put a sad face next to the title if you truly aren't still affected by it.

 

When you told me that I don't need to be "PC with you" for adding a sad face of my own along with my sympathies then I questioned just exactly your motives were.

 

As it stands, it's still unclear.

 

It's a sensitive subject for many. You have to at least recognize that. And just because you've chosen to make light of it just to have something to write doesn't mean that it does not trigger others.

 

Fair enough. I was trying to convey that you do not need to give me the sad face, as it's not a huge emotional issue after a few days with me and I am suspecting, most guys. This is part of what i'm so curious about. Do other guys feel the same, or am i weird?

 

You were trying to be nice. Thank you.

 

I thought it was an interesting topic. Men being raped. It is a curiosity for me now, having thought it was impossible in the past.

 

My motive is to introduce a topic of conversation from my love life that was unusual and see if others had the same experience. It wasn't to elicit pity, which is why I am attempting to communicate that you don't need to worry about being pc with this thread.

 

I would like to note, however, that when I scroll back, I see a place where you called me disingenuous... "Maybe if you were genuine" Your screen doesn't show this?

 

The sad face is there because that is how you feel after it happens.

Edited October 24, 2013 by theothersully

[almond]

If you have not already done so, see your doctor and get tested.

 

The girl sounds like a mess, and is quite reckless and promiscuous - I'd be worried about having caught something.

 

I am glad that you feel okay about what has happened, and appear to have processed it well.

[theothersully]

Thank you. I got tested last winter when it happened.

 

I have to admit, I'm feeling like a freak here.

 

Have no other guys had this happen??

 

I was hoping to compare experiences with people who had it happen to see what they though and how they felt about it.

[amaysngrace]

Thank you. I got tested last winter when it happened.

 

I have to admit, I'm feeling like a freak here.

 

Have no other guys had this happen?? I was hoping to compare experiences with people who had it happen to see what they though and how they felt about it.

 

Maybe you should ask to have the title changed to "man raped by a woman" or something. Because it's less common for that scenario you should have been more specific, otherwise you're likely to get women reaching out to you instead.

[theothersully]

Maybe you should ask to have the title changed to "man raped by a woman" or something. Because it's less common for that scenario you should have been more specific, otherwise you're likely to get women reaching out to you instead.

 

Good call. William? Other mods? Could someone change the thread title to, "i was raped by a woman" ? Thank you.

[amaysngrace]

Good call. William? Other mods? Could someone change the thread title to, "i was raped by a woman" ? Thank you.

 

You should alert them on your first post.

 

...rookies....

[theothersully]

You should alert them on your first post.

 

...rookies....

 

Thanks. Done. I sure hope some other guys come forward. Seems like it would only happen when the guy is drunk, exhausted, drugged, etc... I do recall reading about another guy this happened to on cnn. he was drinking with a female friend and it basically went the same way.

[Radu]

Everyone reacts to it differently, that was your reaction.

 

Still, your original reaction for the first 48hs was spot on ... choice was taken from you, something was forced on you and it could have gone much much MUCH worse with no-one actually believing you.

She could have gotten knocked up, you could have gotten HIV, etc ...

 

And if she was upset with you for some reason, she could have started saying that you raped her, and no-one would have believed you.

 

For women, rape is bad because during normal vaginal sex, you have a penetrative act, an invasive act where there is no consent.

 

For us, with the crap we see and are subjected to, the double standard that occurs in the courtroom, etc ... that is the point where our own trust can get violated.