Why the change?

[C-bits]

I've just begun to notice a pattern in my behaviour. I'm all cheery and happy with my friends, who think I'm such a joyful person. They enjoy my company, my sense of humour and my cheerfulness. A few of my friends have asked me out over time, and as soon as I get into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, things start to change. My insecurities, mood swings, negativites come out. The harder I try to maintain a balance, the worse it gets.

 

About a year ago I met a wonderful guy whom I'm engaged to now. He had feelings for me for months before he asked me out. We'd been good friends before that. Like a lot of others, he too, thought of me as a happy-go-lucky type of a person who has no worry in the world. We used to laugh and joke around a lot. It was like a dream-come-true when we started our relationship. I've never in my life felt so strongly about a person. Things were awesome for a long time, longer than they've ever been. I thought, maybe because I'm totally in love with him, my negativities/insecurities won't surface, but was I ever wrong. I'm back at it. I feel like I'm ruining our relationship. We still joke around and laugh, but it's decreased slowly. The same jokes that I used to laugh at, now hurt me. I make a big deal out of everything and get depressed. I know I'm hurting him, and our relationship. He's been trying so hard, but there's always one thing or another that he says/does which makes me hurt/upset. I feel like a total witch at times, but I don't know how to stop myself from getting hurt and crying.

 

Why do I change like this? Is there any medical reasoning behind this for which I should go see a psychaitrist? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to overcome this? Anyone suffering from something similar? I've just about had enough of myself. Sometimes I just want to hide forever.

[SexiiPinkLadii]

I have no clue why this happens but I just wanted to let you know that I experience this too. You're not alone. **HUGS**

[femme]

*hugs*