help again!!!

[MaGz]

hello, i havent talked to jay in 4 dayz and am really worried about him he told me i needed time to think about this baby his ex is having because he asked me if i wanted to put it under my name as in it will say my name on the birth cirtifucute and i told him give me some time to think about that one..and he said all right and all and his ex is making this big scene saying if he isnt with her she isnt gonna let him be in the room with her when the baby girl iz born and now he is concidering it...but only as a tempory thing until this kid is born..i dont know what to do shes trying to move in on my turf and is screwing with his head again...i cant stop her hes 8 states away at his moms house right now and im scared shes gonna do somthing stupid and use the pregnacy as a way to try and get him back..hell be good i know that for sure...he hates her with a passion but im afraid shes gonna hurt the baby b4 its born and thats not cool....do u know what i can do??? can u help me??? please im begging desperate and begging....

[Laurynn]

I don't understand. I take it that your b/f is the father of this baby. He asked YOU if you wanted to have YOUR name on the birth certificate? Um, isn't the FATHER and MOTHER's name on the birth certificate? I don't understand, please explain this.

 

Laurynn

 

hello, i havent talked to jay in 4 dayz and am really worried about him he told me i needed time to think about this baby his ex is having because he asked me if i wanted to put it under my name as in it will say my name on the birth cirtifucute and i told him give me some time to think about that one..and he said all right and all and his ex is making this big scene saying if he isnt with her she isnt gonna let him be in the room with her when the baby girl iz born and now he is concidering it...but only as a tempory thing until this kid is born..i dont know what to do shes trying to move in on my turf and is screwing with his head again...i cant stop her hes 8 states away at his moms house right now and im scared shes gonna do somthing stupid and use the pregnacy as a way to try and get him back..hell be good i know that for sure...he hates her with a passion but im afraid shes gonna hurt the baby b4 its born and thats not cool....do u know what i can do??? can u help me??? please im begging desperate and begging....

[Tony T]

You can just stop worrying and trust your boyfriend. He is responsible for this child and, to some degree, responsible for being supportive to the mother during these difficult times. I think a father ought to be there for the birth of his child.

 

If your relationship is solid and he really hates this gal as you say, he will be back.

 

You didn't say when this child is due. I think he can visit her enough before the baby is born to make her happy. If it is more than a couple of months, no...it's not a reasonable price to pay just to be in the room when the baby is born. Many fathers who are in good marriages are not there when it happens. But this is HIS choice, not yours and you should support whatever he decides if you are in a good relationship.

 

If you did not carry this child for nine months, your name should NOT be on the birth certificate. That's an awesome responsibility you don't need. This would put obligations on you that could easily survive your relationship. The child would only represent the intimacy your guy had with another woman.

 

You should let your guy do what he wants. I am assuming here you are not married to him...I don't think you said. You should not attempt to control him in any way.

 

You also need to get ahold of yourself. You say you're desperate and that's not good at all. Healthy, trusting, loving relationships do not have a desperate component. This is not love...it is neediness.

 

The more you are able to let your guy be free to do what he wants, the more love you will find in the relationship.

 

Relax and have a drink. This will all work out for you.

[MaGz]

well ummm were not married and i already told him no i dont want my name on the birth cirtifucute...even if she isnt capible of taking care of a rotteb potatoe i think she sould have her name there....but with no legal rights to the child..i told hhim anything thing he wants to do is his decision...shes 7 months pregant by the way....i responded on the last one i wrote awhile sgo and u didnt write back so i posted up here again..its down there...i was asking cuz he asked me all these questions about the case of him and the child and i really dont fit into the case until the kid is born considering its gonna be living at my and his house and ima help take care of it...cuz its mother is a whore literally she used to sell her body b4 she met jay...he didnt knwo that until after they went out for a month...shes fast......but the thing that ircks me is shes trying to take him and as soon as this kid is born and shes all better back to her crack head self....ima beat her ass if she trys anything on him...he flat out told her..im with u as in title only...no phisical no emotional..so dont get attached and she was ok with it...but i think shes gonna try sumthing...he wont respod i know that...but im just worried her stupid self is gonna do something shes gonna regret...ill fly my happy ass over to that state(hes visiting his mom) and kick her ass..im not joking...im just confused about everything...were together and i love him and our relationship is great..im just confused about all the details now...

You can just stop worrying and trust your boyfriend. He is responsible for this child and, to some degree, responsible for being supportive to the mother during these difficult times. I think a father ought to be there for the birth of his child. If your relationship is solid and he really hates this gal as you say, he will be back. You didn't say when this child is due. I think he can visit her enough before the baby is born to make her happy. If it is more than a couple of months, no...it's not a reasonable price to pay just to be in the room when the baby is born. Many fathers who are in good marriages are not there when it happens. But this is HIS choice, not yours and you should support whatever he decides if you are in a good relationship.

 

If you did not carry this child for nine months, your name should NOT be on the birth certificate. That's an awesome responsibility you don't need. This would put obligations on you that could easily survive your relationship. The child would only represent the intimacy your guy had with another woman. You should let your guy do what he wants. I am assuming here you are not married to him...I don't think you said. You should not attempt to control him in any way. You also need to get ahold of yourself. You say you're desperate and that's not good at all. Healthy, trusting, loving relationships do not have a desperate component. This is not love...it is neediness. The more you are able to let your guy be free to do what he wants, the more love you will find in the relationship. Relax and have a drink. This will all work out for you.

[Tony T]

Well, if she's really a prostitute, I can't imagine your guy wanting to spend much time with her. However, the child is innocent in all this and if he is a good guy, I'm sure he wants to be there for the child.

 

You keep saying this lady may try something. I don't know what that could be. If you guy is decent at all, he's not going to fall for a prostitute. However, if he had any desire to stay in this child's life, he ought to get an attorney and get total custody. That shouldn't be hard to do given the mother's chosen career field.

 

I don't think it will be necessary for you to get involved in anything here. You have got to be more classy than that. Just sit put. If your guy should have any desire to get involved in any way with a prositute, I don't think you would want him anyway.

 

If it's two months until this child is born, there is absolutely no need for your guy to be around during that time. However, again, it's his decision. But in my opinion, being there the last week or two before the due date would certainly be sufficient.

 

I promise you he will not be around her for sex, you can bet on that.

 

Meanwhile, if your guy has had sex with a prostitute and gotten her pregnant, you should go out and get yourself checked for AIDS and other less serious STD's, some of which have no lasting cure. It could end up that your guy staying with this pregnant chick for a while could be the very least of your problems.

[MaGz]

i posted one a few dayz ago...will u read my case please

 

i love the way u give advice...u have this whole attitude that just makes me think ur goood at it..if u read my case and the responsies i got from tony just tell me what u think...please??? and dont hold anything back! im in a battle with myself and im scared im gonna loose please help???

I don't understand. I take it that your b/f is the father of this baby. He asked YOU if you wanted to have YOUR name on the birth certificate? Um, isn't the FATHER and MOTHER's name on the birth certificate? I don't understand, please explain this. Laurynn

[MaGz]

weve both bin checked...me and him...he has hired an atturney for this case and hes allready gotten custidy when the childs born....cuz they know she uses and all...i dont know...shes being really ridicoulous with this saying she wants to be called his girlfriend for the next 2 months i think shes using it for court matters and all saying hes the type of guy to cheat on his gf/fiance/wifey or whatever so hed be emotionionly absent for the child...i think thats her pln either that if shes not that smart and hired an atturney shes doing it to give him an even worse guilt trip then she allready is...shes the one that broke the condem to get herself pregnant cuz she herd he was leaving her cuz he found out she uses drugs...so she did that...well i do apprchiate the help..well ima be going back to work now so w/b if u can

Well, if she's really a prostitute, I can't imagine your guy wanting to spend much time with her. However, the child is innocent in all this and if he is a good guy, I'm sure he wants to be there for the child. You keep saying this lady may try something. I don't know what that could be. If you guy is decent at all, he's not going to fall for a prostitute. However, if he had any desire to stay in this child's life, he ought to get an attorney and get total custody. That shouldn't be hard to do given the mother's chosen career field. I don't think it will be necessary for you to get involved in anything here. You have got to be more classy than that. Just sit put. If your guy should have any desire to get involved in any way with a prositute, I don't think you would want him anyway. If it's two months until this child is born, there is absolutely no need for your guy to be around during that time. However, again, it's his decision. But in my opinion, being there the last week or two before the due date would certainly be sufficient. I promise you he will not be around her for sex, you can bet on that. Meanwhile, if your guy has had sex with a prostitute and gotten her pregnant, you should go out and get yourself checked for AIDS and other less serious STD's, some of which have no lasting cure. It could end up that your guy staying with this pregnant chick for a while could be the very least of your problems.