Wizardglick1961 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Hi all, I've been searching the Internet for something to give me hope. Here's my predicament: I'm 52 years old and have been with my beautiful wife for almost 30 years now. We've always been very much in love. My dilemma is that earlier this year she developed a disability which has caused her muscles and nerves to pretty much age. She has difficulty walking and will have bouts of pain. I do my best to take care of her and the house (and kids) but it can get overwhelming at times. Although we can still have sex, during the week it's very difficult as she's very tired come the evening and truth be told, with all I have to do, I'm kind of tired as well. So basically sex is limited to the weekends. The sex is good but she can't really move like she used to due to the disability. Don't get me wrong please, I will never ever leave or cheat. I could never hurt her like that and truthfully I could never live with myself afterwards. She's the love of my life. I guess I'm asking for help in not feeling so sad about our sex life not being what it used to be. I will never let on what I think to her, she goes through hell enough. I still find her beautiful but it's all so overwhelming sometimes. Anyone else in this type of situation? I know things could be worse but again, our lives changed kind of overnight. So I'm kind of still new to all this Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Focus on being greatful for what you have had and still have. 1) 30 years is a long time! I infer that the sex was good during those times before she recently good sick. Not many can lay claim to so many good loving years. Be greatful. 2) So your 52, married 30 years, love each other, and she recently developed sex - and you still have sex once a week. Heck man, many of husbands here younger, married less who have sex less then once a month and there is no health issue at all with the wife. In other words the wife is withholding for reasons other than health. Be greatful. You sound like a very good man - all that your doing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I agree. So why not make Saturday and Sunday the best sex ever and then you'll have something to look forward to all week? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wizardglick1961 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 First I want to thank you both for your responses. In truth it's twice a week (Saturday and Sunday). It's not cast in stone, but it usually happens like that. I must have led a life so engrossed with the things we've gone through together that I never realized we made love more often than others. And yes, the sex was always amazing. I'd even say it got even better with age. And thank you for the advice, I am very grateful of the life we've had together. Maybe it's just everything that's going on and how our lives have changed that's got me down. But I have no one to confide in, which is why I came here. I never want her knowing that I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything. I need to always hide it so she'll never feel bad over what's happened. And she would, she's that way. It's was nice to finally get those thoughts out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
unodos1011 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 First I want to thank you both for your responses. In truth it's twice a week (Saturday and Sunday). It's not cast in stone, but it usually happens like that. I must have led a life so engrossed with the things we've gone through together that I never realized we made love more often than others. And yes, the sex was always amazing. I'd even say it got even better with age. And thank you for the advice, I am very grateful of the life we've had together. Maybe it's just everything that's going on and how our lives have changed that's got me down. But I have no one to confide in, which is why I came here. I never want her knowing that I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything. I need to always hide it so she'll never feel bad over what's happened. And she would, she's that way. It's was nice to finally get those thoughts out. Have you thought about trying new things? Is sex in the morning or lunch time possible? Might she be interested in new things like toys that would make it more exciting without the extra effort? Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I'm glad you could get if off of your chest here. Sex twice a week is still pretty good for your ages. Her disability aside, little ailments like arthritis may get in the way as you both age, (it's to be expected) but it sounds like you guys are working with it the best you can. And of course, find positions that make it less strenuous for your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
SimplyMeee Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Hi all, I've been searching the Internet for something to give me hope. Here's my predicament: I'm 52 years old and have been with my beautiful wife for almost 30 years now. We've always been very much in love. My dilemma is that earlier this year she developed a disability which has caused her muscles and nerves to pretty much age. She has difficulty walking and will have bouts of pain. I do my best to take care of her and the house (and kids) but it can get overwhelming at times. Although we can still have sex, during the week it's very difficult as she's very tired come the evening and truth be told, with all I have to do, I'm kind of tired as well. So basically sex is limited to the weekends. The sex is good but she can't really move like she used to due to the disability. Don't get me wrong please, I will never ever leave or cheat. I could never hurt her like that and truthfully I could never live with myself afterwards. She's the love of my life. I guess I'm asking for help in not feeling so sad about our sex life not being what it used to be. I will never let on what I think to her, she goes through hell enough. I still find her beautiful but it's all so overwhelming sometimes. Anyone else in this type of situation? I know things could be worse but again, our lives changed kind of overnight. So I'm kind of still new to all this You sound like a wonderful caring husband to me... and anyone in your situation would struggle with these feelings ....just as you are, so don't beat yourself up too much... What you express here is some of my greatest fears, or just not LIKING growing older, cause how true it is...what we have, shared , could be taken from us in a heart beat..... but what lasts...is our memories and deep love for each other to help carry us through these more difficult times... Sex twice a week isn't too bad for you age ...and this many years together... what a very special couple you are ! And thank you for the advice, I am very grateful of the life we've had together. Maybe it's just everything that's going on and how our lives have changed that's got me down. But I have no one to confide in, which is why I came here. I never want her knowing that I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything. I need to always hide it so she'll never feel bad over what's happened. And she would, she's that way. It's was nice to finally get those thoughts out. It is good to have an outlet, often writing something out we are struggling with....is a release unto itself. Writing can be like Therapy for our souls... getting a little feedback is also helpful. Stories like yours are inspirational to the power of committed lasting Love...even in it's struggle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
emily240187 Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 you are great man, I hope my husband like you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 thanks for sharing this. i see this as something that will bring you both closer than you ever thought possible even after all these years. a new level of love, real commitment and bonding....real love Link to post Share on other sites
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