After Nearly Four Months, EX Says She Wants To Meet Tonight - What Could This MEAN??

[JDPT]

You are seriously devoting too much time and energy to this. You need to realize that there are bigger fish to fry.

[KatZee]

I just wish she felt remorse for this. Or will. She has been so horrible to me.

 

She most likely won't, and you're really just wasting time dwelling on this trying to figure out things, and going over the "woulda, coulda, shoulda's."

 

The fact that she flaunted it in your face that she's now with the guy you suspected she was interested in when you were dating, should show you she's getting off on making you feel like crap. She enjoys it. She's doing this to you because SHE CAN, because you keep allowing it and acting like a doormat.

 

Time to really stop and man up.

[Purepony]

Can u update us?

[Tarleton82]

I am. I'm too angry and hurt to ever respond to anything from her again. HOwever, I knew her for five years and was extremely close to her. As messed up as she's being, at this point there must be some psychological reason she's doing this. That's all I'm trying to understand.

 

She's acting almost the way a dumpee would act. Like, in her mind, in her twisted little mind does she think I did something to her and she sees this as some sort of revenge?

[Simon Phoenix]

I am. I'm too angry and hurt to ever respond to anything from her again. HOwever, I knew her for five years and was extremely close to her. As messed up as she's being, at this point there must be some psychological reason she's doing this. That's all I'm trying to understand.

 

She's acting almost the way a dumpee would act. Like, in her mind, in her twisted little mind does she think I did something to her and she sees this as some sort of revenge?

 

Why does it matter? Serious question. If you somehow figured out the answer, then what? Does that change the fact that she dumped you and threw it in your face? I mean, it's like you are about to head on a cross-country road trip and you are distracted by an irrelevant piece of trash on the side of road two blocks from the street. This is a complete and utter waste of your time and every second you spend on it is counterproductive.

[Zoe Lilith]

I am. I'm too angry and hurt to ever respond to anything from her again. HOwever, I knew her for five years and was extremely close to her. As messed up as she's being, at this point there must be some psychological reason she's doing this. That's all I'm trying to understand.

 

She's acting almost the way a dumpee would act. Like, in her mind, in her twisted little mind does she think I did something to her and she sees this as some sort of revenge?

This is rather strange, I can't believe that she isn't feelng any remorse. I feel guilty just by thinking of doing the things I planned to...Disgusting. Then again, every individual is different..Unless she is a narcissist, she should have feel remorse. If she doesn't, well...what goes around, comes around.

[Tarleton82]

Phoenix, I know it shouldn't matter to me but it does. And to know, it would help me move on better.

[Simon Phoenix]

Phoenix, I know it shouldn't matter to me but it does. And to know, it would help me move on better.

 

I think you are looking to hold on, not to move on. She gave you all the ammo to move on, but you aren't doing it. I don't think you are being honest with yourself right now.

[Zoe Lilith]

...a manipulatve person like that doesn't deserve your attention. Eventually, we are all going to get what we deserve and we are going to realise our mistakes and the pain we intentonally caused other people, but by then, it's going to be too late..

[Simon Phoenix]

This is rather strange, I can't believe that she isn't feelng any remorse. I feel guilty just by thinking of doing the things I planned to...Disgusting. Then again, every individual is different..Unless she is a narcissist, she should have feel remorse. If she doesn't, well...what goes around, comes around.

 

If she feels she's in the right, she's not going to feel remorse. I'm not saying she's right (she sounds awful) but not every person holds the same perspective and values. Either way, the OP is chasing his tail at this point.

[Zoe Lilith]

If she feels she's in the right, she's not going to feel remorse. I'm not saying she's right (she sounds awful) but not every person holds the same perspective and values. Either way, the OP is chasing his tail at this point.

I just can't believe that there are people like that. I refuse to believe that someone can be that mean, I am not an angel, far from it..but playing with someone's feelngs and emotions like that, is not normal!

[Zoe Lilith]

I don't want to sound rude, but I don't think she is mentally stable.

[Minneloa]

Phoenix, I know it shouldn't matter to me but it does. And to know, it would help me move on better.

 

OP, I know you must be reeling emotionally from having your hopes raised and then dashed so thoroughly. I understand that you would like to know what motivated your ex to act so cruelly. That said, trying to figure out her motivations is a waste of your time, for two reasons:

 

1) There's really no way to know why she did what she did; only she knows, and she might not even be clear about it.

 

2) These questions will lead to more questions, a mental spiral, if you will. Once you come up with a "hypothesis" that seems convincing to you, you will probably not be satisfied and will move on to rehashing the relationship itself, looking for retroactive clues to the breakup and her cold behavior.

 

In short, I understand the impulse to try to figure her out, but it's ultimately a fool's errand. What you are doing is self-torture, and every minute you dwell on her is a minute you could spend taking care of yourself and moving forward.

 

I'm sorry you are hurting.

 

M.

[Tarleton82]

Thank you everyone for your insight. I know we are all in pain otherwise we wouldn't be on here so I really don't mean to moan and make myself out to sound like the only one with problems. I just never knew her to be like this at all, in the five years I was with her. She was always so caring to me and honest and loving.

 

I don't get it.

 

She used to have guilt for things. I wonder why she doesn't now.

[Simon Phoenix]

I just can't believe that there are people like that. I refuse to believe that someone can be that mean, I am not an angel, far from it..but playing with someone's feelngs and emotions like that, is not normal!

 

People can be plenty mean unfortunately.

[reddragon588]

I just never knew her to be like this at all, in the five years I was with her. She was always so caring to me and honest and loving.

 

She's a different person now. Someone you don't know.

[Chi townD]

But if she didn't want to feel guilty and I told her "no, I'm not seeing anyone else" (which I'm not) then wouldn't she refrain from telling me she's seeing people??

 

DOes anyone on here think she has ANY, ANY ounce of guilt or remorse of any of this? Anyone? As evil as I want to believe she is, she is human. I asked her if she still cared about me and her answer was "I don't wish any ill will towards you".

 

How can you say that to someone who you were with for five years? I never cheated and I was never abusive.

 

NOPE! Remember, she's screwing one of your friends, sooner or later you're gonna find out, so she rather it come from her (for whatever reason, Ex's think that owe us that information).