doubled Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 While I was waiting for my kids to come out of school, my ex WH's OW had the nerve to walk up to me and ask to speak with me because she knew I had to keep my cool with all the parents, teachers, and children around. She has a daughter in the same school. She felt it necessary to inform me they were seeing each other again since I filed for a D. My blood is boiling right now. I cannot wait for my D to be final and my house sold so I can be done with this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 It is a good thing that you are getting a divorce. So she gets the "prize"? Will he cheat on her also? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ladydrib Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 While I was waiting for my kids to come out of school, my ex WH's OW had the nerve to walk up to me and ask to speak with me because she knew I had to keep my cool with all the parents, teachers, and children around. She has a daughter in the same school. She felt it necessary to inform me they were seeing each other again since I filed for a D. My blood is boiling right now. I cannot wait for my D to be final and my house sold so I can be done with this. I think what she did was tasteless. I don't even see a need for her to have talked you. Sounds like he has quite a prize as well. Her nastiness will come out towards him if they stay together. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Doubled, remember this; Many times people are their Own Worst Enemy. The best thing I ever did was to move out of exOW's way let her ruin her own life after D-day and beyond. It Really saved me from getting tripped up in her drama and all round ugliness. It took her YEARS (and I don't know this for certain but I like to believe it*), but she turned herself around and isn't that same person anymore. I hope* Let her see you Happy, above it all, enjoying Your New Life, Your Freedom from drama, deceit and betrayal, authentically Honestly YOU!* 3 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I understand how that would be frustrating. Shoulda said something like "you can have him, he wont have much left by the time I'm done with him". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 You are finding yourself in a very har position. It sucks but if he chooses to keep her around you will have to be civil. You cannot talk bad about her in front of the kids and you will have to make the best out of this situation. I really wish divorce would fix it, but it won't unless he lets her go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I was OW and I think that was a crappy thing for her to do. You should not have to engage her unless it is agreed upon by both parties. I would have quietly told her if she came near me again she'd be served with a restraining order. I have never spoken to my guys exW and I don't plan to, but if I see her, I head the other direction. Not because I'm afraid, but because I think she's been caused enough pain and I've no intention of inflicting any more. I'm sorry she did that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doubled Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 It took all I had to stay cool, smile, and wish them luck. They won't make it. Being secretive in their hotel rooms was a fantasy. I know who they both really are. I give them six months tops. I just can't wait to move and my kids can take the school bus. I won't have to see her face everyday. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Doubled - it seems like you have been through so much in the last few years. If I remember right, you and your ex tried to reconcile ? During that time was there no contact with this ow? I am so sorry you are going through this and it sounds as if you handled things extremely well and took the high road. I, too, am a FOW and I can't imagine ever doing that - no class at all. Link to post Share on other sites
jnel921 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 It took all I had to stay cool, smile, and wish them luck. They won't make it. Being secretive in their hotel rooms was a fantasy. I know who they both really are. I give them six months tops. I just can't wait to move and my kids can take the school bus. I won't have to see her face everyday. I would have looked her in the eyes...laughed then in a serious tone tell her "good luck with that...you're going to need it." No need to be nice because the parents are around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doubled Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 Doubled - it seems like you have been through so much in the last few years. If I remember right, you and your ex tried to reconcile ? During that time was there no contact with this ow? I am so sorry you are going through this and it sounds as if you handled things extremely well and took the high road. I, too, am a FOW and I can't imagine ever doing that - no class at all. We did try for 3 years. He claims they were NC. If they did speak he was very good at hiding it. I do believe though that he was trying and would have done anything to make it work and I do believe that he loves me. I just couldn't get past it and I fell out of love with him. It's just funny that within months after we separated and I filed he is with her. Some people just always need someone. After sleeping on it I feel sorry for her because she only has him by default and he will either cheat on her or just find someone else and leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doubled Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 I gave him an earful about what happened and he was furious. I'm pretty sure they had a fun evening and she won't be approaching me again. Link to post Share on other sites
NotCamelot Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 You should have smiled and told her: "I am so glad you took that adulterer off my hands. I no longer have to live with someone who'd easily break vows and cheat. YOU DO! Remember, he is not returnable!!!" :D:D 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ladydrib Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 If you decide to say anything hurtful to her, the best thing to say if she says "wanted to let you know he and I are together since you filed for divorce" a perfect response would be "exactly, he only wanted you once I dumped him. Have fun!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I gave him an earful about what happened and he was furious. I'm pretty sure they had a fun evening and she won't be approaching me again. I'm sure he is upset and he should be. She should never have approached you in that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 We did try for 3 years. He claims they were NC. If they did speak he was very good at hiding it. I do believe though that he was trying and would have done anything to make it work and I do believe that he loves me. I just couldn't get past it and I fell out of love with him. It's just funny that within months after we separated and I filed he is with her. Some people just always need someone. After sleeping on it I feel sorry for her because she only has him by default and he will either cheat on her or just find someone else and leave. Yep, and he did display that he was one of those who always needs someone around. He just went for the low hanging fruit when he cheated on you and then again after your final break up. I'm sorry that your reconciliation didn't work. I always do feel sad for both parties when there was sincere effort made by both and it still doesn't work. I gave him an earful about what happened and he was furious. I'm pretty sure they had a fun evening and she won't be approaching me again. He was furious at you or her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author doubled Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 He was furious at you or her? At her. I kept my cool. Link to post Share on other sites
peaksandvalleys Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 At her. I kept my cool. I hope I can remain cool like you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doubled Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 PV you are doing amazing. I've already told you that I admire you and wish I handled my situation like you did. I hope you are feeling better and staying as calm as you can under the circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
peaksandvalleys Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 PV you are doing amazing. I've already told you that I admire you and wish I handled my situation like you did. I hope you are feeling better and staying as calm as you can under the circumstances. Not doing to great. Drinking to much right now. Thinking about how much pain I wish they both could feel. I want them to feel like their guts are being ripped out. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 PV,t/j here but I bet they ARE feeling it* Link to post Share on other sites
Author doubled Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 PV it will get better and as they loose everything they WILL feel all the pain you feel and then some. And they will lose each other which is going to be the best feeling for you. Please stay strong and healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Consider your self the lucky one. He is is capable of doing the same to her. Now you can find happiness and someone who will be a better companion. Their is light at the end of the tunnel and one day you will look back at this with no pain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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