Overcoming a Cheater?

[marcus10]

I started dating my girlfriend a year ago. The first few months (oct. to jan.) we were an open relationship because we literally started dating two weeks after she was dumped by her first love. (I wanted her but also wanted to give her some freedom) We closed it because I wanted a real relationship. At first she didn't want to close it but I told her it's closed or we're done and she chose to close it. (At this point I started to really really like her. In February I told her I loved her) So afterwards, we occasionally fought and I wanted to break up but she kept saying no. In May, I found out she had been cheating on me with her first love. They had been sleeping together while we had the open relationship and during the closed relationship. They dated for two weeks in Feb. as well. She also told this guy when summer comes, she's going to dump me for him.

Since we got into fights a lot, she'd tell her friends I was the meanest guy ever and such. She even gave them my number to harass me and lied about it.

On Valentine's Day, I decorated her room with flowers and notes and her present. And in return, she ran over the ring I got her with her and her first love and best friends car. Along with the necklace I got her for Christmas.

When I told her it was me or the other guy, (at the end of May) I was crying and such a pussy. She chose me because I'm the better choice. Ever since May, she's be super sweet. Let's me read all her texts, facebook, etc. We just celebrated our one year. She even talks about getting married to me. She even bought me a ring engraved with our wedding date in it.

However, I'm scared as heck. I get horribly depressed because I'm afraid she'll just betray me again. I'm not sure what to do to get over it. Or just leave her? I get angry at random moments and super sad and I can't control it. She wants to fix my depression and regrets everything she did.

How do I get over it? (Please, it's hard. I love her but the lying and cheating and mean schemes has really made an impact on my life) )':

[thegreatesthumphrey]

Its going to be tough. Basically the relationship needs to end. No matter how she is or is not now she has broken your trust too many times for the average human being to ever trust her again. All I can say is it will not be easy. If you care about yourself at all you will start pulling away slowly, however it makes you feel comfortable to become detached from her, because it is all about you now. There is no way the relationship can be successful after what has happened.

[marcus10]

lol, I'm in college

[NoMoreJerks]

She chose me because I'm the better choice

Are you sure? Maybe she chose you because you've been her doormat and willing to turn a blind eye to / accept her sh*tty behavior and cheating .

[Dinozzo925]

Dude no...

 

So much no...

[Scott Thomas]

Mate,

 

It's time you manned-up and found another lady.

You deserve better than some girl who'll cheat for a cheap thrill.

Get out while you can-a few years down the lane it might be too late to do so!

[nescafe1982]

Sadly, OP, women like this don't tend to change. and if she was going to change on your behalf, she would have done it before she decided to cheat on you.

 

Being betrayed like this is hell. It's really, really difficult to get over, even if the relationship ends. I couldn't imagine your relationship with this women staying intact in any healthy way whatsoever. In your original post, for example, there is little/no indication of what SHE is going to do to make you feel safe again. That's a problem.

 

Anyway, it will hurt but you need to leave her, heal yourself, and then find someone who treats you with more respect. With luck and a lot of time, you will look back on this episode and think, "Man, what was I thinking?!?"