Blunder of a lifetime! Anyone else been so stupid before?

[sweetpea01]

Oh jeez. I dont know WHAT was going thru my head last nite. Here's what happened. I go out with 2 guy freinds of mine last nite. One, I dated (Mark)..and the other (Danny) is his best friend. We have a couple drinks. I invited my bf, but he had to get up at 5 this morning, but was waiting at home in bed for me. He knows I've known these guys for yrs, so he's cool with that, and I've gone out with them before...and have never cheated with them or anyone else.

 

They (Mark and Danny) drop me off at home, and decide to come up. We stick in a DVD and drink a little more...although I had stopped and was trying to sober up. I go in and kiss my bf, and go back out to the livign room. Mark is sitting on the couch, and motions for me to sit too. So i sit, but we're sorta cuddling. Which isnt right, but I've known this guy for 5 yrs now, he is dear to my heart, and we have such a mutual trust and respect that we wouldnt ever go further. He has a gf too. Anyway, or so I thought, we wouldnt go further. We fell asleep, adn i remember waking up and kissing. And falling back asleep. I remember hands wandering here and there, (his and mine) and I tried to kiss him again, but he turned I think. Then I flipped out, realizing what was happening, and ran to my bed.

 

In the morning, the 2 guys left. I was in my room, they were on the couches. And I called and apologized to Mark for what happened. I apologized to my bf, and told him I dont know what happened, and that I'm not even attracted to Mark anymore, but that I was so comfortable I guess I stopped keeping my boundaries firm, and it went too far. He forgave me for it, and told me to not hang out with mark if I have a problem, or to get my act together and not be so irresponsible, and he will trust me to not behave this way again. I havent ever done anythign like this before in our 3 yrs, so I think he chalked it up to a foolish mistake.

 

As I was talking to mark, he let me apologize profusely, but never once accepted any blame. And he said, you can act how you want with your bf, but you have to respect that I have a gf i love. So these are my questions: given I was WAY out of line and will never so much as look at another man again, has anyone really really been in love but acted drunkenly foolish like this before? And #2, wasn't it his fault too? He denies we kissed. I really think we did. BUt why were his hands rubbing my stomach. I'm irked he turned this 100% into my fault.

 

Thnx! Sweetpea

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

I do not have any answers except to say what a great boyfriend you have and how amazingly disrespectful you were to him. Can you imagine how you would feel if your boyfriend came home with two other girls (one he had dated previously) and came into your room and kissed you good night. He then proceeded to go to the living room and cuddle and kiss and fall asleep with one of the girls and waking up and stopping after realizing he was messing around with one of them? This is so humiliating and disrespecting to your boyfriend. He really is a saint because I think many men would have ended the relationship right then.

It is good that you were honest and remorseful but lets be honest here. You don't cuddle and kiss another guy in your living room when your boyfriend is in the next room sleeping in bed. You had to know this was so wrong to begin with. Do you think your boyfriend would ever do something like that to you? If not, it is propbably because he respects you too much. I think you need to know down deep why you wish to disrespect your boyfriend like this? I wish you luck.

[Merin]

Damn!

 

Well.. uh.. yeah you've really got an amazing, understanding Boyfriend.. I can't even imagine.

 

I guess my question to you is why does it matter so much to you that Mark take responsibility in what happend? Is it because it helps to lessen your guilt in the matter? Yeah I think it takes 2 to tango.. but you seem really bent on the fact that Mark won't admit any wrong doing.. My guess is Mark doesn't want to admit he did anything wrong that it was allllllllll you, because he knows straight up his girlfriend wouldn't be as understanding nor as forgiving as your boyfriend.

 

People often do crap when they are intoxicated that they wouldn't normally do had they been sober, this is true.. However I often wonder if this is used as an excuse to do things you know you shouldn't be doing as the inabitions are lowered with alcohol.

[SoleMate]

Yeah, your bf's a great guy. Mark, however, sounds like a loser. A true friend does not help you get into a situation that he knows will hurt you. You and Mark share the blame, but he puts it all on you. If I were you, I would find the "mutual trust and respect" damaged after this incident.

 

Your bf's advice to avoid Mark in the future sounds like a great idea.