Ladydrib Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 All these posts of broken hearts of the OW and the BS. It's not okay. Get your heart out of the investment of these self absorbed men and set yourself free. They will not set you free, you must do it yourself. They will continue to lie to the BS "oh we are reconciling" all the while they turn to their OW and say "oh but I am not in love with her and am working on leaving". My point of view may sound cynical however a large majority of the cases are just that. I bet most marriages where the BS has forgiven the WS they have no idea that he did not deserve their forgiveness and he is still trying to have a relationship with the OW during "reconciliation" (what a sham!). It's sad, but true. If OWs or BSs chose to continue to love these men, you may as well accept you are not the only woman in his life. If you deserve better than that - then dump him!! They do not change. People do not change. It is not the OW's fault. It is not the BS's fault. It is that slimy man in the middle and pointing the finger of blame to everyone but himself. Good luck to all the BSs and OWs in escaping this abuse. No one deserves it. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
yellowmaverick Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I don't agree with you 100%, but I do agree that cheaters suck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 And that is why every marriage that is touched by infidelity must be taken on a case by case basis. Some WSs are very capable of having an affair one time and just using their AP as a warm place to run to in troubled time. That does not make them less of a cheat and liar, just someone that can work on their issues to find out why they went to that place and figure out a way to never end up there again. Some WSs are serial cheaters and will never changed no matter what. The problem with being the OW/MOW/OM/MOM is that you never know which type you are getting involved with. And either way you tend to get your heart broken because of it. Then you have the issues of being the BS...you never know which your spouse is until the prove it to you. Oh forgot the WS that choses to leave their marriage for their one and only AP. Though those case are few and far between, they do exist. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I wanted to note it isn't just MMs. Please note that there are OM and BH whom should receive the same message. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
nicepuzzle Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Once3 a cheater always a cheater. I have known my friends husband cried with crocodile tears and still looking And poor insecure BS working out and trying to be better wife. Its WS fault too that they want to stay with these men and they get more and more confident. Sad but true. Self respecting OW/OM or WS wouldnt stay. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I don't agree with you 100%, but I do agree that cheaters suck. Yep cheaters suck and so do those that participate knowingly. The situation sucks for everyone involved!!! Link to post Share on other sites
What Will Be Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 People have their reasons be it the MM/W, the OW/M or the BS. Maybe those reasons are not always logical. All grasping at something. Not all Cs are bad and not all suck. Some are just trying to live... just want love. Deep down isn't that what we all want? To love and be loved? Link to post Share on other sites
Journee Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 That's the scary part about taking a chance on love. You can NEVER say what someone else will or will not do. APs and BS alike. If someone wants to deceive they will. One can always say "Oh, well they would never cheat on ME." or "They will never cheat on me AGAIN." but there are zero guarantees. There is this hierarchy theory of cheating going around. That the depths of the filth will determine the likely outcome. I think it's evident by this site alone that there are people on all sides dealing with different types of cheaters. Honestly, you take a chance with any of them. You take a chance with anyone you choose to love. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Transparency is the only way to ascertain the highest level of success in an relationship. That means mutual access to emails, text, phones, etc and spending time together is a big incentive. most people like to have their dirty little secrets (me included) however when transparency is the foundation its very difficult to navigate too far from one's committed relationship So...when are you going to become transparent to your wife? You know that it's the foundation to fixing things. You're a man, in charge of your own life and actions and choices. Time to make that happen, yes? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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