Feeling realized. Struggling to keep it.

[Katzen]

Hi there,

 

This past summer I reached a personal mind well-being peak. While I was quite distanced with my friends I felt self-contained and full with my family and the holidays we had at our hometown.

Ironically, I felt really great building a cinder block wall with my dad and our neighbor.

It made me feel I'm a simple man, with a wide perspective point of view of life. Somehow these new values came up to my mind, making it better.

 

I'm back to college. A really demanding college where the great majority of people is well off and really smart.

 

I still keep, and try to keep this values firmly; no matter what happens around. BUT I've been having a few issues with some of the friends there.

 

I now have classes in the afternoon-evening time, and while more relaxing, I find I have less temper, less patience. I used to be more theatrical and happy but not so much nowadays. A friend that had this schedule last year told me it happened to him as well.

 

There's this very clever guy (straight As all the time) who lives in a town close to mine. We take the same trains. Thing is that last year I used to enjoy a lot his company around the campus and on the commute holding him in very high regard (frankly, I think I even idealized his person in my mind).

But nowadays, I find he's just a chronic complainer and a maniac. Every time I see him he either sputters how happy or how lazy he feels. Last Friday I was really angry on the way back because he contagied me so much negativity. Just arrived to the city and he said "It's really sad it's friday, everyone is already on their weekend, we're here and have classes" that on the whole 15 minute walk to the campus.

He's got the grades, he's got the money... He is one of the few that have little to complain but there is always something wrong.

 

There's another girl who also takes the same train. She got engaged with a friend of the above guy.

Turns out that 3 of the 5 days the guy is waiting at the station for our train, as we're the 3 of us in the train, the girl makes us wait till the boyfriend goes away 10 mins later on another train.

And this girl just contacts me whenever she finds herself alone on trains or walks, just that there is a guy to go with her. You know, an escort. For interest.

And when the three of us are in the way, they either talk about the work we have or what they are doing in their group of friends.

With the guy I really wanted to be true friends, I put a lot of effort trying to hang out with him (he lives rather close) but I got pushed off most of the times (I was successful just a couple of times but it took a huge insistence).

 

I wait for them to do their romantic thing, but really got fed up between this and the complainer. I am too courteous to leave (anyways, we are going to the same place), asked some other friends about what they would do and they told me to be more independent; but I simply can easily because we coincide everywhere. We mostly take the same trains, we go to the same classroom, I can't get away, can't escape... I feel trapped.

 

And I feel that the perspective and values I learnt let me "see" things around I used to ignore. The people are more or less the same but I don't see many of them as such. Sorry for the rant, but perhaps there is someone who knows how should things be handled.

 

The most amusing thing is that I used to get stressed because of work and exams and now it's just a slight tension. I'm 18 (soon to be 19) and on the second year of college.

 

Because all of this has made me a complainer. Everyone I trust I'm telling it and that is really no good.

 

Cheers

Edited October 26, 2013 by Katzen

[Bito]

There is no peak mindset or world view that fits every situation. Your mind is different then mine or the next joe. Keeping perspective and ballance requires constant work and self reflection especially in different situations.

 

Your still very young and your view of the world will change.

 

Don't let the negativeity of others bring you down. Suround yourself with people who bring the best out of you. And above all love the world around you.

 

Sorry for spelling on phone.